I’ve always been a go-getter​

Ups and downs. This new system is HARD. I only did about 3% of what I usually do. That’s pathetic. Sometimes I just want to scream while I’m at work. I don’t know whether it’s good to be off next week. I mean it’s good for me mentally and physically. I won’t have to sit at the computer all day. This job is a killer. I guess the only bad thing about being off is being a little behind.

Even though it was drizzling today, I went on a 20-minute walk with my dog. I just needed to get out of the house and do something other than work, work, work, work, work.

I got a new microphone for YouTube videos! It wasn’t expensive ($22) and it is one of the best on the market. YAY! The only problem is that my YT videos will be about 1 minute and 30 seconds each. I’m doing 12 of these a month. Is that too short for YT? Should I bother? Do I have to come up with more content? Well, this is FREE content. I’m putting my time in, paying my dues and working for free. So…I don’t know. I will ask my mentor about this. Does anyone upload or watch 2-minute videos? I honestly don’t know because not many people are doing it. What can I say? I’m not a talker.

I have recorded the same video about 5 times for practice. I’m so glad I have the microphone. I can be softspoken when I’m nervous, and the mic takes care of that. I wanted the $50 camera everyone recommends but I don’t think it’s necessary. It would be nice, but not a need right now.

Anyone with a link to my tarot website will easily be able to see my new YouTube videos. Just click on the link on my video on the front page, and it should take you to my page. It’s easy to find anyway. I have the same handle everywhere. I should begin uploading my 12 short videos by Tuesday at the latest. Btw, I’m still planning on taking Wednesday off from EVERYTHING. More on next week’s plans later.

Oh, how could I forget about therapy? I had a session today. I’m so done with her. I’m either going to see her every other week, OR I’m going to just stop seeing her. The only reason I have an appointment next week is because she promised me a resource she gave her sister. Okay, I’ll take that info. After that, bye bye? I don’t know what’s wrong with her. Maybe I’ll blog more about this later.

I hope Demi takes her life seriously because so many people (like her family) care for her. I hope she loves herself as much as so many people love her. This isn’t supposed to come across as judgmental because I am no better than her. I’ve never done drugs, but I’m addicted to other things. I don’t see us as different. At all. So many people struggling. So many demons. Sigh.

Instead of blogging, I should have been reading. Oh well. I have to get in one “oh well” a week. I have two free readings to do this week. Trying to get my numbers up! Need to pay my dues. One day I’m going to be awesome. 😉 Not that I suck now, but I need to be seasoned. For some reason, I didn’t get any reading requests over the weekend which made this weekend pretty great. I didn’t go anywhere, I worked only 3 hours of overtime, and I worked on my own tarot stuff the rest of the time.  Oh, I’m supposed to be going. I need to get me some sleeeeeeep.

Bye! 🙂

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No one loves me like my dog

The people who are upset over Starbucks cups must have great lives. I’m so jealous. I don’t go to Starbucks anyway. Overpriced and overhyped. I only go if they are the only option for something to eat/drink. I tried their egg salad sandwich once and it sucked. 😉

I did my Le Tote YouTube video. I had it public on YT for 24 hours. I’m guessing it probably got anywhere from 5 to 15 views. I would like to apologize to those people. I edited it okay thanks to easy to use editing software called VideoPad. But the sound was horrible and the lighting in some spots was atrocious. I don’t know why I kept it up that long. Since it was my first effort, I’d give myself a C- but compared to other videos, it was a complete fail.

I may do other videos in front of the camera, but I’m not sure what I would do them on. I’m not dying to get it in front of the camera. Trust me. I will still do my planner videos twice a year, but I don’t have to show my face for those. I barely have to edit them.

Every time I want to do a no spend, I give up with my first slip. I don’t want any slip-ups! I’m going to try a no spend December, but because of recent car repair expenses,  I might have to make an exception for buying things for other people. I’m not sure yet.  Unfortunately, I have to buy things like groceries because I don’t have a big enough freezer and some things like unfrozen veggies and yogurt don’t last a full month so I have to buy those.

Monday (my day off) was not good. It could have been A LOT worse for sure. Car repair expenses are never fun. I don’t want to relive that day. I’m also disgusted at myself over some things. Ugh, it is over. Wayne Dyer (and people like him) talk about all these idealistic things like unconditional love etc. I can’t even be human when other people are around. So what a damn minute. Did we skip over something? LOL. I’m only human when I’m alone. (slight exaggeration)

I’m going off on a tangent….

I want to do a slight ease into this no spend. I’m sort of starting now, but I already know what stuff I have to buy. Just no frivolous shit for me. So I might cancel Stitch Fix before I even start. What’s the point? I wanted to do it because it seemed like fun to get things stylists picked for you and it was only $20 a month (unless I decide to keep something). It’s like Xmas. You get a box and you have NO IDEA what’s in it. Fun! 🙂

Who needs that kind of fun?  BREAKING NEWS: I just canceled my Stitch Fix for November 28. Wahh.  That would have been so fun but so consumerist and materialistic too. *Pout*  I don’t need clothes. I wasn’t planning on keeping much but why tempt myself? Don’t spend. I’m also canceling Le Tote but here is the wonderful stuff I got in my last box:

I wore this dress for 9 hours on Monday. I love it, but I’m over it. I thought I would wear it out more than once, but now I’m now not so sure since I’m sending it back in 2 weeks.

maxi dress
maxi dress

I got this Jessica Simpson handbag *brand new*. It still had the plastic wrap and the paper inside. I love this purse!

letote7Nice poncho. I’ve worn this twice.

poncho
poncho

Love this ring. Used to wear these all the time when I worked in the office. I once overheard people discussing whether my rings were real. hahaha!

ring
ring

I haven’t worn this out yet. I may wear it Friday. I love cardigans.

cardigan
cardigan

I wish I could keep my subscription to Le Tote, but it is impractical. I simply don’t go out enough. I try to stay in Monday through Friday, but that doesn’t always work. For example, this Friday I’m going grocery shopping (I’m dreading this) because there is a big event going on and the major roads will be closed on Saturday. On Saturday, I’m going to the free gym near my house. I’m not going to wear the above clothes to workout. I’m staying in on Sunday. That is a typical weekend for me. So I don’t need clothes. It is fun, though.

I’m still debating whether I should have a cheat day for Thanksgiving. I’m probably going to the free gym that day so I will be working a little off but I feel it is too indulgent. I dunno. Still thinking…

People gonna talk whether you doing bad or good

Rant:

I was so angry last night. I get angry every time one of my so-called neighbors throws trash in my yard. These nitwits. What have I done to you entitled fucks? I’m pretty sure I know who is doing it. I’m 96.5% sure. I haven’t done a thing to him. He lives kind of far from me. He has to pass my house every time he comes and goes.

But I know this is a test from the Universe. I won’t let them/him get to me anymore. I will just wait until there is enough trash there, and put it in my garbage can. I will do this at night, of course (when I’m doing a late night/early morning dog potty session). I don’t want him seeing me picking up his trash. lol. Not that he can see me from where he lives but people talk.

I’m not going to stress over it. Let them be fools. I know karma will take care of them. I find peace in that. I do wish they would know that they aren’t getting away with anything but I can’t control that so…..Think about how pathetic their life must be to just chuck their trash out the window into my yard. Does he get a thrill? Does it make him happy? PATHETIC. I would feel bad for him but I’m not there yet.

People. I hate ’em most of the time. Please don’t ask why. I think it’s apparent. Hate is a strong word but don’t freaking mess with me!

/end rant

P.S. Their mail came to my house today.  I walked all the way down there and put it in their mailbox. I’m not the person delivering the bad karma. The universe will take care of it.

P.P.S This is the problem with warm weather: HUMANS. 😦

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How do you tell someone I don’t want to go to your meeting because I don’t believe what you all believe…in a polite way? I have until Thursday to figure it out. Yep, the Jehovah Witnesses are back. C is the main one. She comes to my house weekly. She took most of the winter off and it was sooo nice. I DON’T BELIEVE IN THE BIBLE. um, once again how do you say this in a nice way?

I think I’m just going to say, “I’m not a believer”. And see what she says. She knows I don’t believe in god. Wait, unless she thinks I changed my mind just because she comes to my house. ??? Oh dear. Yeah, I think I’m just going to be honest and go with the whole ‘not a believer’ thing.

My blog is helpful! To me. haha. I didn’t think of that until I started typing it out. Thank you Buddha. That doesn’t mean it will be easy to say though.

——–

I think my therapy sessions are over. I was only going once a month and only 50% of the time was it really helpful. I talk to no one about my issues so some may argue that talking about things are good. But…whatever. It all started with a cancellation due to snow. She said she would call back to fit me in. She never called. Is that a sign from the universe? I hate driving all the way out there. Then I have to wait 30 mins because she is ALWAYS late. (no apology either). So I think I’m done. She wants to cure me of my social anxiety. I don’t think that is my biggest issue. This is where we differ.

——

I uploaded my planner video to YouTube! OMG. I was so nervous. My few subscribers (60) probably were like WTF is this? Ideally I should have created a new channel but it isn’t like I’m planning on doing a lot of planner videos. I have one more lined up and that is probably it until 2016. I have a few videos on my channel. They are mostly music/pop culture related so this is waaaaaaay out of left field.

My 30 second Britney Spears in Vegas video has 198 views since October. I hope this video beats that. People have viewed it. No comments or likes/unlikes…so far. I’m not checking the stats anymore for a while. I only checked within the first 20 hours and it had about 17 views. My Mariah Carey video has 42,000 views!!! LOL. I had no idea until I checked this weekend. I know my planner video won’t get that.

To anyone who watched the video: My voice is not always that flat. In fact, I’m easily excitable and my voice goes up and down in a crazy way in real life. I was just nervous while shooting the vid.

went through hell to prove I’m not insane

I’m starting my #NoSpend NOW. It is a must, not a want. This will be hard for me because there is an item I want that will probably sell out within days or weeks. The release date is March 2nd. It isn’t even that expensive but no can do. (total cost without shipping is $59 for 3 things). I am testing my willpower. I hope it doesn’t sell out. lol. I will buy nothing other than groceries through March 31st.

I still don’t have water. THIS SUCKS! I can’t even blog about it. It just sucks. It was 50 degrees on Sunday. Did I get water for one second? NO. ugh. :/

I’m stepping out of my comfort zone soon. I’m recording at least one video (probably two) and uploading it to YouTube. Of course the videos will be all about my planners. I’m 90% done with my Kikki.K planner. I’m waiting on dividers from Finland*. Then I will be ready to record. I already did a practice video and it came out okay. It will probably be about 5 minutes long. I talk really fast and don’t want it to lag. The video would be 10 minutes for the average non-shy person.

(*Of course I have to have dividers from Finland.  I couldn’t find any I liked from the U.S).

This is huge for obvious reasons. I’m not showing my face. No reason for that. 😉  But I will be talking *gasp* and showing only my hands. I won’t embed the video on this blog because this blog is supposed to be anonymous but I will post pictures of my planner. And I’m sure some people already know my youtube handle so you can go there and see it.

My biggest fear is reading responses…and having to respond. How many rude people will post? Hopefully not many. These videos are VERY popular so I expect at least 200-500 views within a month. I’d rather get an “unlike” any day before I get a rude response. Once I get my dividers, I’ll be ready to record. I’m definitely excited to produce my very own youtube content. But I’m also scared.

The other video will be on my Plum Paper Planner. That planner isn’t ready. I have only been using it since Monday and I’m just figuring things out. I will probably be ready for a video on that in April…if the Kikki.K one doesn’t scare me into hiding!

Here is an example of the kind of video I would like to do:

It is just a flip through of the planner. It is amazing how many people love these videos. Her video has been up less than 2 months and has over 30,000 views!

I finished reading  Get Rich, Lucky Bitch!: Release Your Money Blocks and Live a First Class Life by Denise Duffield-Thomas. This book is for people who believe in the Universe and manifesting. Simple as that. I wouldn’t recommend it to people who aren’t into those things. There are plenty of other financial books for more um, practical people. Actually I consider myself a pragmatist BUT I have seen this stuff work in real life so how can I not believe?

She isn’t just about sitting around dreaming. She believes in doing. That is how she got where she is. But she also believes in manifesting your own luck. Check out her website. I’m definitely a lucky bitch or I’m trying to be one. 🙂