I’ll be fine

Hallelujah! I’m off from my full-time job all next week. Party time! 🙂 Yes, I still have part-time work and school work, but I will have more time to focus on those things. YAY!

People would often allude to horrible things about Harvey Weinstein. I wanted it to be his personality. A lot of people in Hollywood are difficult. But sexual harassment? Too bad. He does good work for social causes PLUS I love his movies. I guess I shouldn’t watch his movies anymore. Sigh. Almost all the movies I would even consider watching are Weinstein movies, so that leaves me with nothing. So far, I haven’t read the NY Times piece because I know it would disgust me further. All I need to know is that he has sexually harassed many women. Got it. I will probably read the article over the weekend.

And WTF was Cam Newton thinking laughing at a female reporter’s question? Dannon dropped him, and I’m not surprised. Who mostly buys yogurt? WOMEN. Geez.

Enough about everything else, let’s talk about me. 😉 Um. Someone is trying to harass me. I don’t feel harassed, but I believe that is his intention. I don’t want to call him a neighbor. People use that term loosely. Too me a neighbor lives very close. He lives more than 120 yards from me. That’s bigger than a football field. I consider him a person that lives in the neighborhood but not a neighbor.

Anyway, he has been following me to the park on his moped, or whatever that thing is. And one day last week he parked his moped in front of my house when he knew I was walking back from the park. On Tuesday, he was on his way home in his truck as I was walking to the park with my dog. He saw me, went home, changed clothes and got on his moped, and we were on the same pathway at the park. He is basically stalking me.

I don’t like it and I do kind of feel stalked. I don’t believe he would do anything to hurt me (like kill or rape me). I don’t want to change my schedule because my park schedule works with my work and my dog. I like him to go to the park in the afternoon to relieve himself. I could do a quick walk at lunchtime, but that would be very rushed. However, I am considering doing that on some days.

I am very thankful to be off from work next week because now I can change up my schedule a lot. I can walk my dog after lunch with no rush. I can walk him at 10 AM if I want. We can explore the park. I assume Mr. Stalker won’t be there because he won’t see me going to the park. I’m glad he can’t see when I leave. That would bother me much more. He can only see me when he happens to be driving home when I’m walking to the park.

I haven’t done anything to this man. My mom’s scared he is going to do something to me. I had to tell her just in case something does happen even though I’m 99% sure nothing will.

I found out one of my high school classmates passed away in April. 😦 He was an army vet. I would think about him all the time, so I was shocked to hear his name on the local news. Shocked and saddened But now I believe he is in a much better place. I don’t believe in heaven, but I do know he isn’t suffering anymore. He had PTSD according to his mother. And he was also mostly paralyzed, but not from the war. I’m so glad he is out of his hell.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8): Demi Lovato, Shania Twain, Lady Antebellum, Miley Cyrus, JoJo, Justin Timberlake, Ellie Goulding, Cheat Codes

Not really feeling the new Miley. However, I am loving the new Demi album:

Demi Lovato – Tell Me You Love Me (live)

TV of the week: Grey’s Anatomy, RHONJ

Movie of the week: I finally saw La La Land. I hated the ending!! Overall, the movie was just okay. I liked the old school vibe. I went into this movie totally blind. I had no idea it was a semi-musical. I hate jazz. Sorry. I know that statement is blasphemous to some people. Anyway, I’m glad Moonlight won best picture over this movie.

I also watched Gaga: Five Foot Two. I’m not a big Lady Gaga fan but I love music docs. It was authentic. It made me see her as a real person. One reason I wasn’t a fan was because of her antics. Her latest album is raw and just her. Anyway, I enjoyed it.

Books of the week: Now reading:

My dad fought in Vietnam. I would love to know his take on all of it. But war is not something I would just bring up. Especially Vietnam. So many people died. Some of his friends died. From what I know of the war, I am disgusted by what happened. However, I am reading this book to hear from ALL sides. I want to know everything.

From the book:

Nothing, certainly not our film or book, can make the tragedy of the Vietnam War all right. But we can, and we must honor the courage, heroism, and sacrifice of those who served, those who died, and those who participated in the war against the war.

Amen!

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren

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Plans for the Weekend: Woohoo! I’m celebrating on Friday afternoon. No more full-time work for 9 days straight. Okay, I’m not really celebrating. On Friday evening, I’ll be working at my part-time job and cleaning my living room. Another fun Friday night.

This weekend will be normal. I’m going grocery shopping, doing school work and working. I have a lot of reading for class to do and I really, really, want to finish the Vietnam book before it is due at the library. The book is over 600 pages, and I only have a few weeks to read it. I’m reading 3 library books at once, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish all three.

I’m not doing anything special on my week off. Besides going to the park daily, I’m only going out to get the Depo injection. Fun times. Well, I gotta go. I’m getting ready to read in bed. No more work tonight.

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! 🙂

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I’m in my zone

It’s not bonus time, but my boss gave me an extra $100 for doing good work at my full-time job.  Awesome. I wasn’t counting on that. Over the years, I would hear of others getting rewards, and I thought, “That’s never going to be me.”  Surprise! 🙂

Wow!! After I gushed over Justin Timberlake, he might be performing at the Super Bowl! Let everyone else be mad, but I’m so excited. I will not watch the football game since I’m still boycotting football because it kills people, BUT I will watch the halftime show if JT performs.

I really miss watching football. My weekends used to be planned around it. Maybe they will find a cure for CTE and even then, I’m not sure I’ll watch it. The NFL knew about CTE and didn’t tell the players or anyone. I should boycott the NFL forever because this is never going to change even if they find a cure. I have dreams of watching football (college and pro) 10 years from now after it doesn’t kill people. That isn’t realistic, though. The facts won’t ever change. People knew what it was doing to players, and they said nothing. Just keep making money while people are dying for sport.

#BoycottFootball

One more controversial thing: I guess people hate it when they realize most football players are black. Ha! Better not to think about it.

After one more week of work, I’m off from my full-time job for a full week. YAY! I usually only take off 3 days in October every year, so a full week sounds divine.

Depo-Provera update: And on the 21st day, I bled. $#@%! But it was light and only lasted one morning. However, that makes me think my period isn’t gone forever. I went 20 days without any bleeding which is the longest I’ve gone in about 6-8 months. I get my fourth Depo shot on October 10. I wish it didn’t have to be an ongoing thing. After a year of shots, I wish that would be it.

I should’ve gotten an IUD, but I’m scared of the pain of having it inserted.

On Tuesday we (my dog and I) went to the park and we saw NO ONE. It was glorious to have the whole park to ourselves. Actually this whole week we haven’t seen a ton of people. Weird. I’m not looking forward to this weekend. People will be back and dogs will be back. Bummer.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8): Justin Timberlake, Ke$ha, Demi Lovato, JoJo, Emeli Sande, India.Arie, *NSYNC, Bethany Dillion

TV of the week: I’ve been mostly binge-watching the Zach Adams trial. It’s gruesome and sad.

Movie of the week: None

Books of the week: I finished reading The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo: A Novel by Taylor Jenkins Reid. I would never have read this without Jen from YouTube recommending it. I’m glad I gave it a chance, but I probably wouldn’t recommend it to someone unless they love fiction. I gave it four stars on Goodreads. I may read Reid’s other books. Right now my “to read” list is too long so maybe next year I will get to her.

I’m now reading What Remains: A Memoir of Fate, Friendship, and Love by Carole Radziwill.

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren

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Plans for the Weekend: I’m planning on working and taking my test for chapter 4. Chapter 4 is so arduous. It’s boring, so that makes me not want to take the test because I know it will take forever.  I made an 88 on my last test, and it only took 22 minutes. This test will probably take 2 hours. I’m not looking forward to it.

I hope I have part-time work all weekend. I know I have work for tonight. Working on a Friday night is super fun! No sarcasm. 😉 Friday nights aren’t that special to me. I was considering going to see the Washington Wizards practice tonight. I went last year and didn’t work at my part-time job. But this year, I’m choosing work. It’s the end of the month, and I need the money. We get paid on October 15th for the work we did this month.

Maybe I’ll see the Wizards next year.

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! 🙂

Making up the moves as I go

Great news…for now. Why can’t I believe in myself more? This is about the part-time job. I got the go-ahead to go and work as much as I want! Scary. I did enough auditing correctly so they feel I can work without feedback. Oh god.  I used to work a lot when I was doing something different than auditing others. But auditing is hard, and I’m so scared, so it takes me hours to do very few things. PLUS, I still have to maintain 95% accuracy. It may as well be 100%. What’s the difference? I can only get one thing wrong…maybe.

High expectations. I’m just going to take my time and ask questions. I need the money, so I’m going to work my ass off.

I really need to workout more. Or change my eating habits. Or both. I gained 9 pounds in exactly one year. 😦 I know this because I weighed myself on September 17 of last year. I’m not that obsessed about it. Obviously (or maybe I would do something about it). I don’t know how much Depo-Provera adds to the weight gain. I don’t think it has much effect.

Anyway, I’ve been walking about 1.5 miles at the park every single day for almost 3 weeks. According to my phone, I walk about 3 miles per hour which isn’t that fast, but not slow at all. Apparently, that has no effect. I haven’t lost weight. Hmmm. It could be the Depo. I probably need to get back on my treadmill regularly. And I’m going to start back up doing the 15-minute workout during my lunch break. I like it because it has cardio and weightlifting.

Speaking of Depo-Provera. No bleeding. I’m so ecstatic about it. Well, I’m hesitantly happy. Anything could change. If I never get my period again, would the Depo be worth it? YES!!! But only because I work from home. I can’t imagine bleeding for 3 months straight and working outside the home. That would’ve been a pain in the ass. For this reason, I wouldn’t recommend Depo to others. Only to people who don’t have to work outside the home because the side effects can be wild.

I also can’t imagine being in a sexual relationship while being on Depo. I’m so glad I didn’t have to worry about that. So just say NO to Depo unless you don’t have to work outside the house and are not in a sexual relationship. I can’t speak on the other side effects like hair loss and mood swings.

Speaking of sexual relationships or the lack thereof, I watched 45 minutes of the Emmys (the middle part), and I was half asleep, but I heard a winner go up and say something like LGBTA. Holla! He gave asexuals a shout out on primetime TV. I almost jumped out of bed. lol.  Of course, most people have no clue what the “A” stands for. Whatevs. He said it! Thank you. 🙂

Well, I should be working my ass off or studying for my course. That’s my life these days. And I’m mostly thankful.

I’m just like my dog

I find out tonight whether or not I get a ticket to the Charlottesville benefit concert. I’ll update this entry with the news.

Update: I wasn’t selected to get a ticket. The good news is I don’t have to lose a whole day of life and deal with general admission. I hope it is live streamed.  Should be fun.

I have to leave my house two days in a row! 😦 That never happens during the week. I have to see my shrink tomorrow, and then on Thursday, I’m going to see the orthopedic surgeon for my carpal tunnel syndrome. I should have postponed the shrink visit, but I didn’t think about it until it was too late. ugh.

Things are not going great with the part time job. This project is tough. It isn’t for beginners. But I am going to try to rise to the occasion and be perfect. No sarcasm. I only have about two weeks left to do perfect work, or they will take me off the project. Last week I made silly mistakes. Silly! At least I have made some money. I’ve made $112 so far. I will get that even if I’m pulled off the project.

I want so much to do well. I think I can do this. I know I can. I’m also praying for a miracle. So there’s that.

The park is also getting tough. I no longer enjoy it as much as I used to even though I love nature. I hope this is just some weird phase. On Saturdays and Sundays, the parks have been full with dogs. I don’t mind people, but the dogs have to go! My dog barks at 20% of the people. He barks aggressively at 95% of the dogs. It wouldn’t be such a huge deal if everyone would leash their dog (like the rule says).

Just yesterday there was an unleashed dog with his owner. She asked, “Can he (the dog) just say hi (to my dog)?” UGH. My dog was already going crazy because he saw the dog. I replied, “He doesn’t get along with other dogs.” ROFL. Sad, but true. What was I supposed to say? Anyway, she somehow got her unleashed canine to get out of our way. I was getting ready to just go another way. But she said, “no” as in don’t go just because of us.

My dog is shy according to the vet. But why does he call attention to himself and bark at other dogs if he is so shy? Maybe he needs to be socialized. I have had him at doggie daycare, but it’s been at least two years since he’s been. Why pay for that if my mom can watch him? When he went to daycare, he ignored the other dogs according to the owner.

The vet is always trying to make conversation when I go for check ups. Maybe I will bring this up to see what she says. I’ve read a few things on the internet, and I don’t know what to think. I think he is just aggressive. Maybe that is why he was at the animal shelter in the first place.

I will keep going to the park every day because it isn’t always uncomfortable. Sometimes nothing occurs.

Can’t get away from them.

That also happened at the park on Monday. Did he mean he can’t get away from people of my ethnicity? Or did he mean dogs? Or was he talking about something totally different? I don’t want to assume. But it was the location and how he said it. It was kind of nasty.

We (my dog and I) were walking on a trail in the woods. It is a shortcut we often take. They were sitting in a secluded part of the park near the trail. I don’t know how old this guy was. I didn’t look directly at him. He sounded anywhere from 16-24. If he wants to get away from people of my race, he can easily move elsewhere. Besides, this is MY park. I walk to it. It is less than a 5-minute walk from where I live.  What did he do? Get in his car and drive there like so many people do?

Oh yes, I am very territorial. Just like my dog. I’ve always been this way. Anyhow, I just thought this was interesting. I think before I started A Course in Miracles I would have assumed the worst, would have thought about it non-stop and it would have overtaken my life for a few days. I’m not kidding. But now I just report on it and let it go. 🙂

Besides, maybe it had nothing to do with race. I think it is on my mind because there was a racial “incident” at the park recently. No one got hurt. No one would have known it happened if it weren’t for the media. That is all I can say about that.

On days like this

Part time work will start for me on Tuesday. I’m trying out a new schedule. I’m starting my full-time job 30 minutes earlier so I can have more time to work at my PT job. My brain shuts off around 8:30 PM so nothing can happen after that. I can’t even read for fun after that time.

My days are so exciting I thought I would share my new schedule. (<–sarcasm) This is my Monday through Friday schedule. I’m trying to work less on the weekends because last time I worked all Saturday and Sunday when I had PT work. I don’t want a repeat of that. Here is my new weekday schedule:

4:50 AM: Alarm goes off

4:50 AM – 6 AM: Typical morning stuff plus prayer, meditation and A Course in Miracles. I do that while “cooking” breakfast. I used to eat breakfast while working, but it started taking away from my productivity so now I eat before work.

6 AM – 2:30 PM: Work full-time job

2:30 PM – 2:40 PM: Get ready to go to the park. I’m not sure I’m going to keep this up in the winter. I HATE the cold, but my dog doesn’t seem to care so he might want to go to the park. He tries to lead me to the park on every walk we go on so I’ll know if he wants to go.

2:40 PM – 3:10 PM: Park time

3:10 PM – 4:25 PM: Nap time 🙂

4:25 PM – 4:45 PM: Dinner

4:45 PM – 8:15 PM: Work part-time job.

8:15 PM – 9:00 PM: Catch up on stuff I didn’t get done during the day. Hopefully, I will be able to read for leisure OR work on my school work.

9:00 PM – 10:00 PM: Get into bed but don’t go to sleep. Well, usually I listen to a podcast or watch TV (probably news) and fall asleep.

10 PM – Take my dog out for the night and then officially go to bed.

I know my life seems so exciting. 😉 I’m still trying to figure out my weekend schedule. I used to get up around 4 on the weekend so I could start work early, but I don’t think I’m going to do that this time.

I might have to change my schedule. My nap seems long, but sometimes it takes me a while to fall asleep. I’m thinking about skipping my nap 2-3 days a week so I can get more PT work done. Right now, I’m not sure that will be necessary. Plus I think better when I take a nap after my FT job. My brain definitely needs to be clear.

My next entry will probably be my Stitch Fix review if I have time to type it out. I already took the pics.

Take a walk in my shoes

I shouldn’t be blogging right now, but I will always post here at least once a week. My part time work will start very soon. First, there is a little training, and then we start, so I’m guessing I’ll be working by Monday. But there is a chance I might start working over the weekend. The pay is higher than usual, but the work is harder.

Everything we do will be audited. EVERYTHING. We have to be near perfect (about 95% correct) to stay on this project. I’m trying to positive. But I’m relatively new at all this, so I don’t feel confident that I will be near perfect. I have less than one year experience, and this stuff is hard. There is no guarantee that I will stay on this project just because I start on the project. I’m trying not to worry. I could really use the money and the experience.

I haven’t heard a word on the home inspection. I’m guessing he is going to inspect in September instead of this month. I hope!  That’s the only way I can get a two-week notice.

So much to do. So little time. I got my Stich Fix. Love it. I will probably do a post on it next week if I get a chance to take photos over the weekend.

Depo-Provera update: So far, so good! 🙂 I went about 5 days without bleeding. lol. Now I’m bleeding slightly, but it’s nothing like before. I think it’s slowly working. YAY!

This week I…

Music of the week: Lorde, Paula Cole, Ke$ha, Amos Lee, Kelly Clarkson, Ed Sheeran, Shawn Mendes, Tori Kelly

TV of the week: Big Brother

I’m still watching old court trials. Old meaning that they occurred a few months ago. I used to watch trials live, but now I prefer watching ones already completed…especially if I don’t know the verdict.

Movie of the week: None

Will I ever watch another movie again? Stay tuned. 😉

Books of the week: I’m focusing on library books since I can’t renew any of these. Now reading:

Kelly Brogan doesn’ t believe in medicine for depression, bipolar disorder or even schizophrenia. Interesting. I’m giving her a chance.

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren

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Plans for the Weekend:  I’m picking up a few things from the store. I might be working. Might not be. Who knows? If I’m not working, I want to go to the park for a while on Sunday. So far all of our (my dog and I) recent visits are about 20 minutes.

Relatively short entry today. I’m trying to stay above water. I’m doing much better than I was last weekend. I don’t feel as overwhelmed. I’m still waiting for one of my textbooks, so I don’t want to start my course even though I probably don’t need the book for the first week. If I’m not working, I may as well try to start the course.

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! 🙂

I hear sounds in my mind

I don’t know where to start. That’s a great first sentence for a post. lol. Not a lot of big things are happening. I just want to do a few updates.

Job(s) update: FT job is still stressful, but today was pretty good. Re: the part-time job – We don’t have as much work because companies are sending their work overseas. 😦 I knew this was happening, but I didn’t know it was affecting the company I work for that badly.

Anyway, I should have work in about 2 weeks. People with more experience are working now. Us newbies have to wait. There are still opportunities and I’m glad I’m working with this company. However, I don’t think I’m going to invest in this career further. I was considering getting a THIRD certification. That’s a couple of thousands of dollars I would have to invest.

A course is starting next week with a discount for a few days in the certification I want, and of course, I’m tempted to sign up. But ugh, I just finished studying and taking a certification exam. Do I REALLY want to spend time and money on another certification right now? I think I will pass on the discounted price and wait until I really know I will receive a return on my investment.

Depo-Provera update: UGH. The bleeding started back on Wednesday. Great. I hope it is only temporary or I might call the doctor. It’s not really heavy, so that’s a good thing. I think I might be at the beginning of gaining weight due to the Depo. I won’t know for sure until a few weeks. Many women start gaining after the 3rd shot, so no shock there.

Other than that, things are going great with the Depo. 😉 More on this later.

List time! I love lists. Obvs. I made a list of things I really want. I think it’s accurate. I came up with this list in my paper journal pretty quickly so I might have left a few things off.  I left two private things off the following list. These wants are in no particular order:

  1. A private island in a warm climate.
  2. No debt.
  3. A good relationship with food.
  4. A carefree job where I feel confident.
  5. A consistent spiritual practice.
  6. To be all around healthy.
  7. To forgive my past tormentors.

I have nothing to add right now. Just sharing.

This week I…

Music of the week: Jillette Johnson, Lorde, Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Julia Michaels, Ariana Grande, John Mayer, Lana Del Rey

Song of the week: Lorde – Perfect Places

 

TV of the week: Big Brother, Pretty Little Liars

I’m so glad PLL is finally over. It got so bad at the end. Horrible. I quit watching Empire during the second season. I just don’t care what happens to these millionaires. And the music was horrible. Music is subjective, so I’ll just say I didn’t like the music. I hate saying that because Timbaland is the executive music producer. But whatever.  I started watching Empire because so many people were talking about it and I’m a fan of Gabourey Sidibe. But she wasn’t on the show enough for me. I should probably read Gabby’s book. I don’t know much about it. I just heard it was good.

/end tangent

Movie of the week: None

Books of the week:

I’m trying to focus on the following books –

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren

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Plans for the Weekend: Why do I even have this section? It’s not like I do anything fun on most weekends. LOL. Anyway, I’m just going grocery shopping and enjoying my free time. I am preparing to work at my part time job. It’s kind of hard to prepare without work, but I have some old coursework I can do. I’m trying to get really good at it so I can always have work despite a lot of work being moved overseas.

Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂