I’m going to dance all night

Ahh, my vacation from work has been great! It was very much needed. I’m nervous about returning on Monday because they will be tracking what we are doing. Sigh. I’m thinking about taking another week off in November. I want the week of election day off.  I would like to vote without a line, and I have to get my car inspected. If I don’t get a week off, I will ask for 3 days off.

On Wednesday, I did nothing related to work – tarot or day job. Well, I kind of did some Instagram and Facebook stuff at 7 PM. So I did do a little something, but most of the day I spent on my astrology course which was so nice. I’m logging my hours for that self-study course because I might want the certificate. To get a certificate, we have to log all of the hours we spend on the course, take several pictures of the notebook/journal we create, and write a few paragraphs on what we learned. If I get the certificate, I can put that on my tarot/astrology website and say hey, I am serious about astrology. I finished this hard ass course! 😉

I didn’t get a manicure. I just decided to paint my own nails black. I might get one one day. As of this entry, I have recorded and uploaded 8 YouTube videos. Terrifying!  I mention this here because I was only considering getting a manicure due to that. Now I have 4 more videos to go for August. Some of the videos I don’t like, and the other ones are so-so. Whatever. I’m new to this. I have to get something up.

I did get one lovely comment on one of my videos. Thank you!! (I did respond to the person).  I wish YT would email me each time I get a comment because I’m moderating comments. I had no idea anyone left a comment. I just saw it by mistake while looking for something else! Argh. I might stop moderating comments IF I can delete anything extremely negative. I don’t want to keep manually checking for comments. No way. I can’t believe they won’t email me when I get a comment. Isn’t that bizarre? How am I supposed to know? Yes, I have my settings set up so YT can email me. I don’t get it.

I started off doing 5 free tarot readings a week. That was fine for a while. Now I’m down to 4. I’m thinking about going down to 3 a week. I’m not sure. I got a 3-star rating yesterday. I’m 100% sure this was due to a language barrier. I read his request several times, and I never got what he mentioned in his feedback. Sigh. He’s from Nicaragua and English isn’t his first language. (I want to move to Nicaragua. I guess I won’t be moving in with him because he gave me 3 stars. LOL). I think doing 3 a week is good for practice. Some people don’t seem to get that this is a free service. Whatevs.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention I got great feedback on one reading. She wants to maybe work together again in the future. But I’m not sure I can give her my website. I have to see if that is against the rules. I don’t want to get banned.

I stopped therapy. She wasn’t for me. I’m never going to therapy for social anxiety again. I have other issues that are more important. Yet, all they want to focus on is that. NEVER AGAIN. If I feel like I really need therapy, I will not mention anything about anxiety. Besides, I feel like my social anxiety is better these days. Or is it just different? I still can’t talk to 95% of my family. However, I can talk to “strangers” on Skype. I can also talk a little when we have work meetings. I’m uploading YouTube videos. Etc. etc.  I still can’t say hi to strangers unless they speak to me first. So I guess I do still have SA, I just don’t think it is my main problem.

YAY, the Pope came out against the death penalty in ALL cases. Um, not that that will solve the issue in the near future. He doesn’t have that much power.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): First Aid Kit, Kacey Musgraves, La’Porsha Renae, Pink, Janelle Monae, Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Linkin Park

Best news ever: Robyn has a new album coming out! Finally. I love the first single, but I’ve only listened to it a couple of times.

TV of the week:  Big Brother, Castle Rock

Castle Rock is good. It’s very Stephen King. Obvs. I love him. My top two favorite fiction books are Stephen King books: The Long Walk and Salem’s Lot.

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, Why is This Happening?,  Tarot Bytes, The Bill Simmons Podcast, The Lively Show,

Books of the week: Now reading:

Plans for the weekend: Grocery shopping again and preparing to go back to work. I have two tarot readings to do.  I have to finish up recording my YouTube videos. I’m glad the videos are under 2 minutes long. If they were longer, it would take me forever to record them. I record each video about 3 times and then pick the best take. I hope I can spend some time on my astrology course this weekend.

I have to go to the library today. I also have my 5th meeting with my mentor this afternoon. We have a lot to cover in only 90 minutes. I’m going to miss talking to her when our 12 sessions are over. 😦 Maybe we can be friends. I’ll see. But it won’t be the same. We won’t be on Skype and talking. It won’t be that kind of friendship. LOL. I’m already missing her and it’s not over yet.

Have a great weekend. Thanks for reading! 🙂

My getaway, mentor and website

I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. My website is freaking LIVE. Like I said, I don’t expect anyone to find it for a while. I don’t have the SEO set up right on purpose. Not only that, I chose a mentor. I’m paying her for her services. She is going to mentor me for at least 90 days. I won’t mention her name. Eventually, I will have her name on my website in my About section so it won’t be a big secret. (Assuming it works out well). My sessions won’t start with her until June 29th. She is a very busy lady with a successful business. Uh, that’s why I chose her as my mentor. 🙂

Here is the link to my new website (erased) This won’t stay up long. Please bookmark it, if you would like to see how it progresses. I will probably erase it in 10 days or less on this post and the sticky post. I will probably link to it every 3 months or so. And then erase it again. It isn’t the best site right now because I’m still working on it.

Right now I feel like I have two full-time jobs. NOT A COMPLAINT. Lol. I’m glad to have my day job. Trust me. It’s just that I spend almost every waking moment working on tarot when I’m not a work. And that is how it will probably be for a while.

I’m starting to have minor chest pains because I’m so stressed right now. Stressed about the website and stressed about the mentor thing. Sigh. I didn’t get to take a nap after work because I had a short meeting with my mentor. We will eventually have twelve 90 minute meetings (!!!). Oh, I have to add that work isn’t helping. It’s unusually busy. I have no idea why.

Well, I had a great Getaway. LOL. It was wonderful. I got so much reading done. I might blog more about it later, but for now, since I want to get in bed with a book and relax here are a few photos:

fullsizeoutput_32

The above pic is the outside of the cabin. I LOVED IT! I could live there, but the cabins are kind of too close together for me. They claim they don’t want people to feel isolated. WTF? Have these people ever seen rural places? They don’t have neighbors for days! I live in the suburbs, right outside the city and I barely have close neighbors. Anyway, I could live there forever despite the other close cabins.

This is the outside area of the cabin. We didn’t spend much time here because all my dog wanted to do was eat the coal in the fire pit. :/

fullsizeoutput_33

This is the view from the bed. Did I say how much I loved this? My dog loved sitting on the ledge and watching nature. So nice.

fullsizeoutput_34

Here is the messy bed with the sheets I bought from home:

fullsizeoutput_35

The above pic is basically the whole cabin. Minus the small kitchen and the bathroom. My dog loved the bed. I loved the bed too. We don’t have this ish at home, so it was really, really, nice to be able to spread out and sleep. We spent a lot of time in bed together. I hope that doesn’t sound creepy. 😉

I have more to say about the Getaway. I might blog about it later if nothing major comes up. Right now I’m exhausted and feeling stressed out. So I’m going to go. I know people are worried about kids at the border and I’m going on and on about being stressed about my freaking website. That’s life. Bye!

There’s no rope to save me

Countdown:

ZERO days until my cabin Getaway (!!)

I read over the cabin Getaway rules again. They just sent this about a week ago. I forgot that they want us to take off our shoes as soon as we enter the cabin! That isn’t a huge deal to me because I hate wearing shoes and I always take my shoes off ASAP, but I hope I don’t forget. So no 10-minute showers, no dogs on the linens/bed/furniture, and no shoes on the floor. Why didn’t they tell us this before we booked? Oh, and no barking dogs.

I’m kind of worried about the barking dog thing. I WAS going to take a noise machine, and then my dog probably wouldn’t bark unless he saw someone or something out the window. But now I can’t even do that!! Another rule: no hair dryers or coffee makers because they might use up too much electricity and the power could go out. LOL. If a person can’t use a coffee maker, there’s no way I can take a noise machine and leave it on 24/7.

My dog barks whenever he feels threatened. He is like a watchdog. If he hears something, he’ll bark. If he sees someone on what he thinks is his property, he’ll bark. We can’t have that. I could get kicked out if he barks too much. Two complaints equal gone!  Sounds in the woods carry more than in most places. Sigh. I’m hoping it will be quiet. Well, at least I don’t have to pack my noise machine. I do have a noise app, but it’s not as good as a real noise machine.

My Tarot website is going live next Friday! Woohoo. 🙂  I’m kind of glad I won’t have internet access during my trip because I know I would spend hours working on the site. I will be reading and studying the tarot though so it won’t be a complete work-free vacation. I’m not advertising my site until I have all the tarot cards memorized. That should take less than a month from now. I’m going to start working on note cards tonight.

One of my big fears is that people will book a reading with me and I won’t be ready. I should have planned better as far as timing goes. I just wanted my website up ASAP. Without advertising, I don’t think many people will find it in the beginning. I don’t even have my SEO set up right.

WOW. I just got off the phone with the tarot reader. She was amazing. I took a ton of notes. Some of what she said matches the email reading I got a couple of months back. Interesting. Btw, it was supposed to be on Skype, but my power was out, and she’s on the road, so the phone was better for both of us.

The one thing that really stuck out was her saying not to go too rapidly with the tarot business. I AGREE. Does that mean I shouldn’t open my website? See, I think if I don’t advertise, no one is really going to know I even have a tarot business. I know my site might come up in searches, but I don’t have that set up right on purpose. So, I don’t think that many people are going to find my site. I’m only posting the link on this blog for a little while because I want to share it. I’m not doing any advertising on social media until the beginning of August.

She said:

  • Time for a change
  • Be patient
  • Time to be challenged
  • My brain is scared. My heart is ready.
  • I should do tarot readings in my community. (interesting)
  • I put other people first too much
  • My brain is throwing out the worst case scenario.
  • I’m playing the comparison game
  • Don’t play small.
  • I should explore my female ancestors.
  • I need to exercise and eat well.
  • Spend time in nature (I already do this).

I learned a lot. Took lots of notes. I also know how a phone reading should be done. However, now I still don’t know what a Skype reading is like. I have to do one in order to do my own someday. I could go on and on with how much I related to what she said, but this entry is already long enough. My power still isn’t on. There was a car accident. I hope everyone is okay.

UPDATE: I did what one is not supposed to do. She gave me the names of the cards she pulled and I went back and did a quick reading. It basically said I need to save all my money (no shit!) and that I’m NOT on the right path. Hmmm. The one thing I don’t like about Tarot readers is that some of them try to make things too positive. Hey, I do it too sometimes. I’ll give my thoughts more on this later. I still have to pack.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Halsey, Lykke Li, Sugarland, Janelle Monae, Kesha, Dave Matthews Band, LeAnn Rimes, Natalie Merchant

TV of the week: The Handmaids Tale, Survivor

Movie of the week: none

Podcasts of the week: Fresh Air, True Crime Garage, So You Wanna Be a Witch, A Course in Miracles, Case File, The Lowe Post

Books of the week: 

Now reading –

I’m picking up four books from the library right before I leave for my trip this afternoon. All of the books are tarot or astrology related.

Planner update: Plans of the week in my The Charmed Life Planner (coming Sunday or Monday).

Plans for the weekend: VACATION!!!! 🙂 🙂 YAY! It’s supposed to be hot and no rain. I just hope we can spend a lot of time outdoors without having to drive somewhere. I’m still not sure about the location. Is it just cabins? Or are there places to walk? Anyway, I still have to pack. I am working today because I don’t want to miss training. I can’t afford to. I’m only working 4 hours, then we’re (my dog and me) going to the park, then to the library drive through to pick up my holds and then we are headed to the tiny cabin.

I could really use a break. Yes, I will spend some time working on the Tarot, but I hope to spend more time just relaxing. That’s why they call the company Getaway so people can put away work!

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! 🙂

I’m still a dreamer

This entry is going to be about my mom, and I haven’t typed much, and I already feel bad. This is going to be a judgemental entry. I’m judging her behavior. I’m just acknowledging my judgment. I know she’s my spiritual assignment and blah, blah. I was going to come here with my guns blazing and say she’s this and that. But I’ve since done my spiritual work (mainly A Course in Miracles), and I don’t even want to do this entry anymore.

But anyway…

This goes back to my birthday vacation and how different we are. On the first day, I thought, “Oh no! I’m so screwed”. But it actually all worked out. It wasn’t a bad trip at all. On the day we arrived, I wanted to go out to the local beach. She wanted to stay in. I couldn’t believe it. But I know her.

She would rather stay in on vacations and WATCH TV. I kid you not. We are so different. Like I said this end up being a good thing, but at the time, this kind of sucked. I was beating myself up for not going out by myself.

I just have to keep this in mind whenever we go on vacation together. My dog saved the trip too. Thank god he was there. 😉 Next year I don’t think we are going on vacation because I’m not sure I will able to afford Kripalu and a beach vacation. BUT if I can afford both, I will do it. We might do two nights at the beach for my birthday, and then I can do Kripalu with Gabby Bernstein in June or July.

Kripalu is so expensive because I want my own room. After being around people all day, I will want my own room. I’m an introvert after all. But I am considering a dorm or a roommate situation if I have to.

LOL. This entry was supposed to be a bashing entry, but I’m not even worried or concerned about it anymore. I’m over it.


I hate Depo-Provera right now, but I know it is teaching me patience OR it could be teaching me just to deal with my period and don’t try to stop it. Sigh. I don’t know which one it is. Should I stop the Depo after only two injections? Then what was the point of all this? I don’t want to give up just yet. The only side effect I have is a heavier and longer period, btw. bleh.

I wish I could try TMS therapy for depression. I already know of a doctor that can do it. But the insurance company won’t pay for it because I don’t fit ALL the criteria. I have been diagnosed with major depression (that’s good for insurance purposes). However, there are so many hoops. I think I’m going to ask my doctor about it next time I see him in June.

I’m not taking Abilify anymore after I run out of what I have (sometime in 2018 if it doesn’t expire before then) so I need to do something. I either need a new anti-depressant, or I need TMS. I don’t think any of the anti-depressants on the market will work for me. 😦 I know that’s the wrong attitude to have. Ideally, I would love not to take anything for depression or anxiety. But I tried that recently and it didn’t work.

I’m not giving up on not taking any meds. Nor am I 100% sure I want to go med-free. I’m currently researching so I can know what to do in 2018 when I run out of Abilify.

B-day vacay 2017

I’m back. Obvs. I don’t know where to begin. I took tons of pics, but a lot of them are repetitive. I wish I could say my dog was 100% good, but there was one issue. He messed up the front door of the cabin! He tore some of the siding (???) off. I don’t know if they will charge me for it. I pray they don’t. Seriously. It doesn’t affect how the door works. It just looks bad in one little spot. That is the only thing he did. Otherwise, he was an angel.

This was my view from my eating spot:

DSCN0434

Isn’t it gorgeous? I especially loved eating breakfast out there. Nothing beats that view in the morning. Btw, I love eating outside and will do that any chance I get.

We went out to eat for my birthday. We ate outside on the patio. Here’s the view:

DSCN0384

The picture really doesn’t do it justice. I love water. The food was great. I had a bacon cheeseburger. 🙂

Here is a pic of the cabin’s living room:

DSCN0353

I meant to take more pics of the inside of the cabin. The cabin was very nice. I’m used to staying in the one bedroom, so this cabin was huge to me.

We went to the beach. It took forever to get there because the GPS wouldn’t put me on the highway. But it was worth it.

DSCN0363

There is also a mini beach at the state park. I went there twice with my dog. Here is my favorite pic of the state park’s beach:

DSCN0404

I meditated out there on Thursday. It was heavenly. If only I could always meditate on a beach.

Here are a few more random pics of my dog:

DSCN0418 (3)

DSCN0397 (2)

Overall, the trip was a blast. My mom and I are so different. That almost cause friction. But I should know how she is and plan accordingly. I plan on blogging about this more. It was a spiritual test for sure, and I barely passed. Even though it was a vacation week, I have to end this entry with…

This week I…

Music of the week: Lea Michele, Britney Spears, Joseph, Chris Stapleton, Rachel Platten, Ellie Goulding, Hailee Steinfeld, India.Arie

TV of the week:  Pretty Little Liars

Movie of the week: None

Books of the week: I finished reading  Night by Elie Wiesel and May Cause Miracles: A 40-Day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimited Happiness by Gabrielle Berstein.

Still reading  A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever by Marianne Williamson,  A Course in Miracles and  A Course in Miracles Made Easy: Mastering the Journey From Fear to Love by Alan Cohen.

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren

DSCN0436

Plans for the Weekend: I need to get serious about studying for my certification exam. I’m retaking a practice exam because I don’t know what else to do to prepare this weekend. I’m cleaning my house on Saturday, and I’m going to try to dog proof it more. He is such a high jumper. He can reach almost everything. That’s a big problem.

Have a nice weekend! Thanks for reading. 🙂

Asheville trip

UGH!!!! I left my digital camera in that damn robe they provided at the cabin! I was checking for stupid chargers and NOT something important like a freaking camera. My fault. I did upload some pics to my computer, so I have some pics and videos from Asheville. But cute pics of my dog and things like that are gone. 😦 oh well. I’m thinking about getting this Nikon camera. I really want a camera for the Ellie Goulding concert, but I don’t need one. ANYWAY…

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES
The animals greeting us at the cabin

I think I can sum all three days up in one post. I enjoyed Asheville, but I didn’t get to do all the things I wanted. I planned this trip as a solo trip. I plan non-solo trips completely different. So that had a lot to do with why this trip was a B and not an A or B+.

Let’s talk about the good stuff first. The hot tub was a winner. I got into it daily and sometimes more than once a day. It was the only alone time I had, so I cherished it. I read and drank alcohol 😉 while in it.

cove1
The hot tub and the view from it

 

The cabin was THE BEST. There were chickens, donkeys, goats, fish, and horses.

cove3
The queen bed – and where I slept

 

The best outing was the Biltmore mansion. I walked 5 miles that day (with no major foot pain!), and I didn’t even do everything. We toured all 43 rooms of the mansion, toured a little of the gardens, and did the wine tasting. I still don’t get the appeal of wine, but I’m glad I did the tasting. I tasted only four wines because I was driving.

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES
Biltmore mansion

We ate at a lot of local places. I can’t remember all the names. But I had pancakes at The Local Joint in Fairview (A++). I also had a tuna sandwich from Woolworth’s in downtown Asheville. (A). Nothing I saw mentioned the Woolworth’s as a good place to visit, but I highly recommend it. It’s not only a restaurant. It is also an art gallery with superb art.

The cons of Asheville include the price of things. I thought Vegas was bad. The tour of Asheville is $26 per adult. Vegas was cheaper. We only got off and on once. I did enjoy learning about Asheville, but this was one of the things that would have been better to do alone. My mom and I are not on the same page when it comes to stuff like this. I did get to see downtown, so that was cool.

I didn’t get to drive much of the Blue Ridge Parkway because we had a flat tire that morning. It’s a long story. The point is that it made us late for everything on Thursday.

Would I go back to Asheville? Yes. Will I go back soon? Probably not. Next year I’m planning to go to Surry County, VA (again) for my birthday with my mom and my dog. Yay, my dog gets to come! Surry County is an hour away from Virginia Beach so we’ll get to go to the beach also. I used to go to the beach all the time, but I haven’t been there in about 3 years. We’re going to stay in a 2 bedroom cabin at a state park. It is much cheaper than going to Asheville.

The end.

P.S I just ordered the camera from Amazon!!! Ahh! It’s sad that I consider a camera a “need.” It’s going to be delivered to my mom’s house today (Yes, on a Sunday). I probably won’t pick it up until later this week. Here is a pic of it:

The only things I don’t like about it (without even using it) is that it doesn’t have a touch screen like my previous camera and it looks a bit too professional. What if I can’t get into concerts with it? hmmm. AND the HD video is only 720p. My last camera took 1080p HD videos. I should have just ordered the same camera. Why didn’t I? ugh.

not everything ending in war

My cousin (once removed) died Sunday night. She had a brain tumor. All she wanted to do was to make it to college. She didn’t say she wanted to graduate. She just wanted to make it there. That was her dream. She didn’t even make it to senior year of high school. 😦

I see all these deaths and illnesses. It’s making me all carpe diem. Seize the fucking day.  And don’t let people make you feel bad about your life choices. They don’t know what’s in your bank account or any “hidden” illnesses. OR ANYTHING. Screw that shit.

I booked the cabin in Asheville. Yes, that’s crazy. CRAZY. It’s not the smartest financial decision, but I’m going to take the chance in 2016. I have the week of my birthday off. I booked the cabin for that Tuesday through Friday morning. Three nights.

That means the treadmill is definitely out of the picture. I might get one in 2017 or never. Anyway, the cabin is only 500 sq feet. By looking at the pics (down below), I thought it would be bigger. It is smaller than the state park cabin I usually visit.

Here are the pics of where I will be staying five months from now:

cove1

View from the hot tub on the porch.  I’ve never been in a hot tub. I do plan on using this one. I had one in Vegas. I just used it to soak my feet.

cove2

The kitchen. I am bringing food from home. I am only eating out once. (At the Biltmore Mansion).

cove

Yes, it comes with a washer and dryer. Definitely using that since I don’t have one at home.

cove3

Small, cozy bedroom w/a queen size bed.

cove4

The patio.

I’ll have more of my pics to post once I go there. I can’t wait to go to the Biltmore Mansion!! I had no idea it was so expensive, though. 😦 I have to do research on what other things I want to do. Trip Advisor, here I come.

I still can’t believe I booked it. **shakes head** What is wrong with me? Rhetorical question.