I’m going to dance all night

Ahh, my vacation from work has been great! It was very much needed. I’m nervous about returning on Monday because they will be tracking what we are doing. Sigh. I’m thinking about taking another week off in November. I want the week of election day off.  I would like to vote without a line, and I have to get my car inspected. If I don’t get a week off, I will ask for 3 days off.

On Wednesday, I did nothing related to work – tarot or day job. Well, I kind of did some Instagram and Facebook stuff at 7 PM. So I did do a little something, but most of the day I spent on my astrology course which was so nice. I’m logging my hours for that self-study course because I might want the certificate. To get a certificate, we have to log all of the hours we spend on the course, take several pictures of the notebook/journal we create, and write a few paragraphs on what we learned. If I get the certificate, I can put that on my tarot/astrology website and say hey, I am serious about astrology. I finished this hard ass course! 😉

I didn’t get a manicure. I just decided to paint my own nails black. I might get one one day. As of this entry, I have recorded and uploaded 8 YouTube videos. Terrifying!  I mention this here because I was only considering getting a manicure due to that. Now I have 4 more videos to go for August. Some of the videos I don’t like, and the other ones are so-so. Whatever. I’m new to this. I have to get something up.

I did get one lovely comment on one of my videos. Thank you!! (I did respond to the person).  I wish YT would email me each time I get a comment because I’m moderating comments. I had no idea anyone left a comment. I just saw it by mistake while looking for something else! Argh. I might stop moderating comments IF I can delete anything extremely negative. I don’t want to keep manually checking for comments. No way. I can’t believe they won’t email me when I get a comment. Isn’t that bizarre? How am I supposed to know? Yes, I have my settings set up so YT can email me. I don’t get it.

I started off doing 5 free tarot readings a week. That was fine for a while. Now I’m down to 4. I’m thinking about going down to 3 a week. I’m not sure. I got a 3-star rating yesterday. I’m 100% sure this was due to a language barrier. I read his request several times, and I never got what he mentioned in his feedback. Sigh. He’s from Nicaragua and English isn’t his first language. (I want to move to Nicaragua. I guess I won’t be moving in with him because he gave me 3 stars. LOL). I think doing 3 a week is good for practice. Some people don’t seem to get that this is a free service. Whatevs.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention I got great feedback on one reading. She wants to maybe work together again in the future. But I’m not sure I can give her my website. I have to see if that is against the rules. I don’t want to get banned.

I stopped therapy. She wasn’t for me. I’m never going to therapy for social anxiety again. I have other issues that are more important. Yet, all they want to focus on is that. NEVER AGAIN. If I feel like I really need therapy, I will not mention anything about anxiety. Besides, I feel like my social anxiety is better these days. Or is it just different? I still can’t talk to 95% of my family. However, I can talk to “strangers” on Skype. I can also talk a little when we have work meetings. I’m uploading YouTube videos. Etc. etc.  I still can’t say hi to strangers unless they speak to me first. So I guess I do still have SA, I just don’t think it is my main problem.

YAY, the Pope came out against the death penalty in ALL cases. Um, not that that will solve the issue in the near future. He doesn’t have that much power.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): First Aid Kit, Kacey Musgraves, La’Porsha Renae, Pink, Janelle Monae, Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Linkin Park

Best news ever: Robyn has a new album coming out! Finally. I love the first single, but I’ve only listened to it a couple of times.

TV of the week:  Big Brother, Castle Rock

Castle Rock is good. It’s very Stephen King. Obvs. I love him. My top two favorite fiction books are Stephen King books: The Long Walk and Salem’s Lot.

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, Why is This Happening?,  Tarot Bytes, The Bill Simmons Podcast, The Lively Show,

Books of the week: Now reading:

Plans for the weekend: Grocery shopping again and preparing to go back to work. I have two tarot readings to do.  I have to finish up recording my YouTube videos. I’m glad the videos are under 2 minutes long. If they were longer, it would take me forever to record them. I record each video about 3 times and then pick the best take. I hope I can spend some time on my astrology course this weekend.

I have to go to the library today. I also have my 5th meeting with my mentor this afternoon. We have a lot to cover in only 90 minutes. I’m going to miss talking to her when our 12 sessions are over. 😦 Maybe we can be friends. I’ll see. But it won’t be the same. We won’t be on Skype and talking. It won’t be that kind of friendship. LOL. I’m already missing her and it’s not over yet.

Have a great weekend. Thanks for reading! 🙂

I’ve always been a go-getter​

Ups and downs. This new system is HARD. I only did about 3% of what I usually do. That’s pathetic. Sometimes I just want to scream while I’m at work. I don’t know whether it’s good to be off next week. I mean it’s good for me mentally and physically. I won’t have to sit at the computer all day. This job is a killer. I guess the only bad thing about being off is being a little behind.

Even though it was drizzling today, I went on a 20-minute walk with my dog. I just needed to get out of the house and do something other than work, work, work, work, work.

I got a new microphone for YouTube videos! It wasn’t expensive ($22) and it is one of the best on the market. YAY! The only problem is that my YT videos will be about 1 minute and 30 seconds each. I’m doing 12 of these a month. Is that too short for YT? Should I bother? Do I have to come up with more content? Well, this is FREE content. I’m putting my time in, paying my dues and working for free. So…I don’t know. I will ask my mentor about this. Does anyone upload or watch 2-minute videos? I honestly don’t know because not many people are doing it. What can I say? I’m not a talker.

I have recorded the same video about 5 times for practice. I’m so glad I have the microphone. I can be softspoken when I’m nervous, and the mic takes care of that. I wanted the $50 camera everyone recommends but I don’t think it’s necessary. It would be nice, but not a need right now.

Anyone with a link to my tarot website will easily be able to see my new YouTube videos. Just click on the link on my video on the front page, and it should take you to my page. It’s easy to find anyway. I have the same handle everywhere. I should begin uploading my 12 short videos by Tuesday at the latest. Btw, I’m still planning on taking Wednesday off from EVERYTHING. More on next week’s plans later.

Oh, how could I forget about therapy? I had a session today. I’m so done with her. I’m either going to see her every other week, OR I’m going to just stop seeing her. The only reason I have an appointment next week is because she promised me a resource she gave her sister. Okay, I’ll take that info. After that, bye bye? I don’t know what’s wrong with her. Maybe I’ll blog more about this later.

I hope Demi takes her life seriously because so many people (like her family) care for her. I hope she loves herself as much as so many people love her. This isn’t supposed to come across as judgmental because I am no better than her. I’ve never done drugs, but I’m addicted to other things. I don’t see us as different. At all. So many people struggling. So many demons. Sigh.

Instead of blogging, I should have been reading. Oh well. I have to get in one “oh well” a week. I have two free readings to do this week. Trying to get my numbers up! Need to pay my dues. One day I’m going to be awesome. 😉 Not that I suck now, but I need to be seasoned. For some reason, I didn’t get any reading requests over the weekend which made this weekend pretty great. I didn’t go anywhere, I worked only 3 hours of overtime, and I worked on my own tarot stuff the rest of the time.  Oh, I’m supposed to be going. I need to get me some sleeeeeeep.

Bye! 🙂

Is it just part of the process?


17 days until I’m off from work for a full week

I’ve been working 24/7. I finally have at least 10 minutes to catch my breath. It’s my fault. I need to be more structured when it comes to the tarot biz. However, I only have a mentor for 3 months so I’m trying to get in as much as I can while she’s around. I go from working my day job to working the tarot. I can’t wait to be off from work for a week, but that time will probably be 95% tarot and 5% doctor appointments. It would be nice just to have one day off of not doing any work. I’m going to try to do that. As of right now, I’m going with the Wednesday of that week.

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

We started working on the new system at work. So far, I am really slow at it. It took me 5+ years to really get used to the old system and now, they change it. I hope it doesn’t take me too long to get used to the new system. We started training in March. I have forgotten so much. I have to look up almost every single thing. That is why I’m so slow.

Enough about that work. Now let’s talk about tarot work. I joined a tarot community that assigns people free email readings to do. How awesome. There are drawbacks, of course. But the best thing is that I don’t have to ask people do they want a free reading. I was shocked I got picked. I thought they would never pick me, but I got a free reading request the first night I signed up! The question is pretty detailed. She wants a little of everything covered. Uh, I don’t usually do that in readings. I might talk it over with my mentor tomorrow. But how much can I tell her? I don’t want to cross any boundaries.

(UPDATE: I just got a request for another free reading. Ummmm, I haven’t even done the first one yet. I’m grateful for the opportunity. But I’m shaking at the same time. This one is 100% relationship based. Oh dear.)

UPDATE pt 2: I now have 4 readings to do. There goes working on my intro video.

Another good thing is the feedback. On Facebook, I didn’t always get feedback. Now I get feedback PLUS I get rated from 1 star to 5 stars. LOL. Oh, God. This could really suck! I’m doing the reading on Saturday. I’m anxious about it. Please give me at least 4 stars!

FUCK MY THERAPIST! Okay, this time we actually had a decent session. She even took notes!! But she didn’t know I don’t have any friends. How many times do I have to say it? This time she typed it into her notes, so I think she got it. Why fuck my therapist? Because she wants me to talk to my dad. NOT HAPPENING!!!1111!!!!!

Should I lie? Nah. Should I tell her I just didn’t want to do it? I will probably do something like that. After I told her he lives mostly in {insert country name}, she asked whether he spoke English. ROFL. Uh, yes. Very well.  He was born in Maryland and lived most of his life here. Anyway, my appointment is on Tuesday, right after work. I might see my dad on Sunday. But I’m not saying a thing besides “hi.”

Oh, and the main reason I don’t talk to my dad is social anxiety. Simple as that. I admire my dad. He is a Vietnam Vet. He is smart. I don’t agree with him when it comes to everything. For example, he doesn’t think the football players should kneel. FYI, not all veterans agree with him. Some think they fought for the right of the football players to have freedom of speech. What a novel concept! So there’s that. I think the whole thing is stupid. Stop playing the National Anthem at football games. Whatevs. I don’t watch football anymore because it kills people. Not because of some kneeling BS.

(Not that the football players are kneeling for BS. Just wanted to state I know they are kneeling for important stuff they believe in. I think the “controversy” is BS).

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Dave Matthews Band, James Bay, Janelle Monae, Florence + the Machine, Sugarland, Demi Lovato, Amy Winehouse, Hailee Steinfield

TV of the week:  Big Brother, The Handmaid’s Tale, The Bachelorette (judge away)

I watched The Bachelorette because they visited my hometown. It’s so sad that I’ve only been to one of the places they visited. It’s not like they went to touristy places. They just went to everyday places. I’ve wanted to go to one of the places they visited for the longest time. I just keep going to the same places. Anyway, I like Becca (the bachelorette), so I’m going to keep watching until the end of this season. I’ve never watched the show before, but I know the concept. I don’t watch it live, so I hope no one spoils the ending. I have to stay off social media… especially Twitter.

Oh and one of the guys called where I live “country”. Okay, Mr. Elitist or should I just call him ignorant? I’m sure tons of people living in the city were laughing at that. The country is at least an hour away from here, dude. Thanks for stopping by. I love the country, btw. I’m trying to move there. I want to own a house there. It’s just so far out. I don’t want to spend a ton on gas just to get places, but it’s probably worth it.

Movie of the week: I watched two comedy specials last week. I can’t believe I’m watching comedy like I used to back in the day. So weird. I watched Kamau Bell’s latest (soo good!) and Hannah Gadsby’s Nanette. I enjoyed both. Nanette was more serious and so necessary. If you want serious comedy, watch that. If you want to laugh at the ridiculousness, this country has become watch Kamau’s special. Can’t go wrong with either option. Should I watch David Chappelle next? I probably won’t because I haven’t heard great things about any of his recent specials.

Podcasts of the week: Fresh Air, Online Marketing Made Easy, The Biddy Tarot Podcast, The Mind Your Business Podcast, True Crime Garage, Unsolved Murders, Why is This Happening?

Books of the week: Now reading:

Plans for the weekend: Tarot, tarot, tarot. What else is there to do? I’m working OT on Saturday. I also have to do that free reading. I hope I do a good job. On Sunday, I’m going grocery shopping.

I also want to record another video for my tarot website. I’m not sure I’m going to get it done this weekend, but I want to try. This one I want to be more professional. I’m going to attempt to use iMovie for the first time ever! Ugh, this might take some time. There goes my weekend! I hope I can make it good. Oh, and I also started a biz Twitter account. I’m not sure how long I’m staying on there. I don’t like having two Twitter accounts. One for fake business shit and one for real stuff I care about. It doesn’t sit right with me. I feel like I’m fake on the biz Twitter because I probably won’t tweet anything bad about Trump or politics at all. I do follow NPR on that account though. LOL.

Anyway, I’m glad I made time to do this entry because I don’t want this blog to die just yet. Thanks for stopping by. Have a great weekend! 🙂

The good ones always break

Someone just went off on all vegans on Insta! It was great. LOL. I’ve been getting tired of their self-righteous attitude. Not all vegans have that attitude. Obvs. I’m talking about the ones that go on and on about it and have the holier than thou attitude. No one wants to hear from their privileged ass about being vegan. Fucking awesome! I admit I loved it a little too much. I want to thank the person for finally saying what I’ve been thinking for years.

YAY for LeBron being a Laker. I’ve been a Laker fan since I was eight years old. I’ve been ambivalent towards LeBron since he came into the league. Now I might kind of love him. 🙂


I started off June so well. I did do well with my groceries. But I ordered twice needlessly from Amazon (total of $70.00). I hired a mentor. I enrolled in Gabby Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Masterclass (!!). So it was a fail for the second half of June.  I’m going to try to do better in July. I really need to.

Here are some of my July budget categories:

  • charity – 10.00
  • emergency fund – 25.00
  • electricity – 95.00
  • trash – 30.00
  • groceries – 120.00
  • clothing – 25.00
  • gas – 30.00
  • doctor bills – 50.00
  • toiletries – 23.00
  • subscriptions – 46.00
  • pet stuff – 44.00

I’m leaving my debts off again because no one should have to see that. It’s quite scary. However, I did write down every single debt for myself.

Therapy isn’t going well. She doesn’t give a shit. So I may quit. I’m giving her two or three more chances to see if she cares. I think I have 2 more free visits left. She thinks I’m married?? Can’t she remember anything from the last session? Why isn’t she trying? Would this happen in 3D therapy AKA real therapy? Sigh. I’m almost over her. Some of it is probably on me. I hate that she changed from having Sunday hours. After work, I don’t want to talk. I’m tired. *whine*

I hate to say I’m so busy, but dammit, I’m so fucking busy right now. That’s a good thing in a way, but it is also keeping me from reading leisurely, finishing my self-study astrology course*, and just relaxing.

*The astrology course is kind of for my business, but I LOVE astrology so I would do it even if it weren’t for that. I’m obsessed. Astrology is so fun. I’m a geek that way. It’s been one of my interest for years. This course is like a graduate level course. Here is a link to Benebel’s astrology course.  It is very deep, and I may have to delay getting further into it until my mentorship is over.

It was so fun interpreting Trump’s and Obama’s birth charts. They were spot on! OMG. Amazing. Yes, I’m a nerd. I must blog more about their charts when I’m back into astrology again. I haven’t even looked at Hillary’s yet. Ooh. I bet that would be interesting. 🙂

Instagram business update: I have two pictures on my biz Instagram page! It wasn’t that hard to figure out what to write, but now I need to do more random shit. For example, I happen to be reading a bunch of Tarot books right now. I should take a pic of those books and post it. I need to post stuff that has nothing to do with my website.

I’m so tired all the time. That is not helping me get work done. I woke up 1 hour after my alarm went off!!! I never do that. I got up at 5:47 AM and still made it to work on time. Yay, for working from home. (Start time for me is 6 AM). But I didn’t get to meditate, pray, do ACIM, or eat breakfast. At least I made it on time.

Gotta go.

Dreamers searching for the truth

And I thought Obama was hard on immigration. Actually, he was. Too hard for me. I was always on him about that. He always talked about empathy, and I believe he has empathy (which is rare for a politician), but he didn’t have much empathy for immigrants. The only reason I believe Trump went tougher on immigration is because he doesn’t want to continue anything Obama did so he HAD to go tougher and separate children from their parents.

Obama kept parents and kids together in so-called detention centers. He deported a ton of people.  More than George W. Bush. I used to know the exact number. I could just search for it. But you get my point. I wonder why Obama hasn’t spoken out much about Trump’s immigration policies? Hmmmm. I know why. To give him a little credit, he did start DACA.

I had to redo my tarot website (temporarily linked above and below). ::cries:: Okay, it wasn’t that bad. It took me less than 2 hours. I only redid it because I hated how it showed up on my phone. Who looks at websites on their phone? Apparently, a lot of people. I rarely do that. I still don’t love the services page on my phone, but everything else is okay.

If anyone has read my blog on my tarot website…um, I hate it too. ROFL. I’m just beginning! They will get better over time. I had fun doing Cancer’s reading. However, that’s not the point. The point is that my readings don’t flow well. Maybe my mentor can help me with that? I hope so!

Overall, I don’t like the business look of the site. It is supposed to be a spiritual site yet, it looks more like a website for a lawyer or something corporate. It will do for now. I think it is decent for a beginner. I’ve done a few websites before, but none for a business.

UPDATE: I changed the main color on my website to my favorite color: purple! I like it so much better. It is less business-like.

UPDATE part 2: I finally have the store set up on my website! Woohoo!

Therapist: How did you meet your husband?


Okay, I didn’t laugh at her. I just said, “I’m not married. I never have been”. Ugh. How could she think I was married? Would a therapist I saw in 3D (versus video) know that? We’ve had 3 sessions together. I don’t like meeting with her during the week. I’m tired from working all day, and the last thing I want to do is talk. I enjoyed the Sunday sessions much better.

She also asked me if I wanted to meet someone after I told her I wasn’t married. I said, “no.” Lol. I should have said, “Hell, no.” Please! Too funny.

I didn’t mention that on my Getaway weekend, I went to Shenandoah National Park! So cool. But it was so terrifying driving on those roads up the mountain. I was so scared. I’ve been driving for a long time. I drive on unfamiliar roads all the time. I have never experienced anything like this. I would like to say I’m going back because we (my dog and I) only spent an hour there, but I’m too scared to drive on those roads again.

We did a trail at Shenandoah described as “easy”. I showed up with my dog and these other hikers, mostly with non-American accents, were getting ready to hike the trail. They had on hiking boots and lots of gear. And here I am with tennis shoes with holes in them and a big ass camera. LOL. We walked the trail until I saw a snake. I waited for 2 minutes for the snake to move over to the side. Uh, it kept going up the trail! I’m 99% sure the snake wasn’t poisonous, but I didn’t know how my dog would react, so we headed back down.

In the end, I was glad the snake stopped us because it took forever to get back. I hadn’t realized how far we had gone because I was walking so fast to try to get out of the way of the real hikers. Anyhow, I hadn’t planned to go to Shenandoah, so that was nice.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Christina Aguilera, Shawn Mendes, Alessia Cara, Lykke Li, Janelle Monae, Alana Davis, Ariana Grande, Kesha

TV of the week: The Handmaid’s Tale, This is Us

Movie of the week: none. Well, I started watching Dirty Dancing. I hadn’t seen that movie in forever. I forgot how much I liked it. I might finish it this weekend.

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, So You Wanna Be a Witch, All In With Chris Hayes, Mental Illness Happy Hour, Tarot for the Wild Soul, Wrongful Conviction

Books of the week: I’m reading too many books to list. I’ll just list a few:

Plans for the weekend: Busy weekend. I’m working 5 hours on Saturday. On Sunday, I’m going grocery shopping. I will probably work many hours on my tarot website and on an astrology course I started. I also need to find time to mow the lawn. Blah. I want to go back to my Getaway. Reading in bed for two days was so nice. The good old days.

I’m off on Monday. I will probably offer to do free tarot readings on Facebook on Sunday and then I can do them on Monday morning. Scary, but I have to do it. I need the practice.

Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful weekend! 🙂

I’d rather rescue myself

Bummer! I was hoping to share my website link with you all. But Squarespace won’t let me share since I still have a free trial. 😦 😦 Only people with a login can see it. I could pay for it and make it go live, but I don’t want to do that now because it is only about 40% done. Oh well.

I probably will share it once it goes live in a week, but I will have pictures of myself on there so I will not leave the link up long. So if you want to continue to see the website, please bookmark it. I will not link to my professional website after a week or so because I want this blog to remain anonymous.

I’ve spent hours on the site. I don’t know how I feel about Squarespace. I already know I’m going to redo the site in 3 months. But for now, I will stick with what I have. I don’t want to start all over. The main problem I’m having is not being able to put a photo where I want to on my “About Me” page. However, I’m taking a lot of photos of myself this weekend while I’m in the woods so I can have woodsy photos of me 😉 So I may as well wait to put photos up. I’m just frustrated because I figured out how to do the banner, a logo, etc. But I don’t know how to put a pic on the bio page. ARGH!

So blah. I really wanted to share my site. I only have 13 days left on my free trial, so I’m paying for it very soon. I’m paying for it annually because it’s a little cheaper and I get the domain free. It’s funny. I checked to see if the domain was available BUT I didn’t do an internet search to see if anyone else was using my name on youtube, facebook or wherever. Oh my! Duh! Some people are using close to what I have. The name of my website name consists of VERY common words, especially in spiritual circles. Oops!

Hopefully, no one will sue me. I can change the name of my site, but I don’t want to change the domain name because that would cost money.

I’m continuing to like my therapy sessions. I have 4 free ones left (a reminder to myself). Unfortunately, she is discontinuing her weekend sessions. 😦 Why??? I scheduled my next appointment for June 20th – a Wednesday at 7 PM. At least, she has evening/night hours. I only found her because she had Sunday hours. Anyhow, I have decided I’m going to use therapy to get over my social anxiety. It will probably be very hard. But I want to do Skype tarot readings and to do that, I have to overcome my fear of public speaking.

I think she is going to want me to join Toastmasters or something. Groan. That’s not the first time I’ve heard that. Whatever works. I have to come up with 10 things that scare me and rank them from least to worst.  How about everything scares me? Seriously. Well, everything concerning PEOPLE. Luckily, I think I have at least two weeks before I have to do my list. Just thinking about that makes me anxious.

My dad saved the weekend! My mom told him I said that we didn’t get a break between winter and summer. So my electric bill continues to be a little high. (Not as high as it should be because I have it pretty hot in the house). I did NOT give her permission to tell him that. I don’t even know why she said that! Normally I get pissed when people say something I said to them in private. But in this case, not so much. He gave me $80 to help pay my electric bill!!! YAY.

He gave me cash so instead of depositing that into the bank, I used the cash to pick up a few things I need for my trip this weekend. I bought a queen-sized sheet. And I bought a blanket. I also picked up some other things I didn’t have on my budget. Nothing “bad”. Stuff I need like Clarispray. I think my allergies are getting worse. I used to use Clarispray twice a week or less. Last week I had to use it 3 days in a row! That has never happened.

Now I feel bad for only getting him a card for Father’s Day. I got him a pen with his name engraved on it for his birthday. I can tell he really liked that. I dunno. I just feel a little bad. But I think he only expects a card.

Well, I have to go work on my website. Hopefully, it won’t be too frustrating. 😉 Should I have gone with WordPress instead? Maybe. But I doubt I switch now. Bye!

Obstacles are detours

I got more info about my DC Getaway. I’m not pleased with the new dog information. Um, they don’t want any dog hair on their bed or linens. LOL. That’s understandable, but really? So what I have to do now is buy a queen size sheet to cover the bed and a full-size something so that I can have cover. I can’t sleep without something on me. It doesn’t matter how hot is it; I have to have cover.

I did my grocery shopping on Saturday. I happened to come in under budget, so I have cash leftover. I was going to use that cash to pay for my groceries on June 23. Now I have to use that to buy linens for the cabin/tiny house. 😦 Where is my dog supposed to sleep? On the floor? My dog laughs at that idea!  It is a tiny house. There will probably barely be room for his crate*. Of course, he is going to sleep on the bed. UGH. My dog doesn’t shed a lot. But he does shed. I don’t want to mess up their cabin so I will follow the rules. Plus, I don’t want to get charged for dog hair. Whatever.

*I’m only going to leave him in his crate when I’m in the shower. I don’t trust my dog enough to leave him out while I can’t see him in a new place. Showers can’t take long because there is limited water. They call a 10-minute shower long! LOL. I consider a 20-minute shower long. I will probably set a timer for 5 minutes while I’m in the shower. I don’t want to run out of water.

I have an hour long tarot card reading scheduled for June 14. That’s one day before I leave for my trip. I’m so excited. It is going to be on Skype. I’ve never had a reading like this before. Since I’m new, I got 20% off. I paid $44.00 for it. It isn’t in my June budget, but it doesn’t matter because I paid for this on May 31! I cheated. 😉 Can’t wait. This will be the last reading I pay for. Well, I’ve only paid for one other reading.

Now onto the ‘job’ opportunities. There are two tarot reading opportunities I can apply for. One is option A, and the other is option B. Option A is harder to get because I would have to do a LIVE reading on camera with the head of the company (even though I will only do email readings if I get approved). I know I’m not ready to do that now, so there’s no point in applying. But I will apply shortly. Option B is easier to get. I just need a $50 webcam, a good quality microphone, and a nice background. That’s it. I can do that.

Option B scares me because it is just people looking at you while you are sitting there. You can’t see them. And then they can ask you for a reading, and you do the reading live and on camera (not in front of everyone – one on one). Horrifying, right? They rate you after the reading so if I suck, everyone will know. I don’t want to take anyone’s money and not give a good product. That’s very important to me.

Anyhow, I need the practice and the money, so I need to do Option B, but first I need to do more FREE readings. I also need to buy the camera, a backdrop (fabric) and a better microphone. I would like to get started on there by August 1. I will be finished with my class by then so I will have more time to dedicate to free readings.

I’m glad I have those two options. I wish I could do option A now. However, I don’t feel confident enough to give a live reading to the head of the company. The pay isn’t great for either option. For one company, the pay is something like $6.00 for a 20-minute reading! That’s really low.  But it’s great practice, and it is extra money. Plus the person that recommended both of these companies is someone I trust.  I want to do work at both companies at the same time. A lot of people do that.

Truck driving school costs $4,500 where I live. Probably not doing it…ever. But who knows? I know I’m not going into debt to do it. That’s for sure. I’m not going into debt for anything except emergencies. I’m scared of driving a big truck. We just had an accident here involving a truck. Someone died. I just don’t feel comfortable doing it. I don’t want to make decisions based on fear. I dunno. I’m still thinking it through. If I feel like it’s my only option, I’m probably going to try driving school (if I can pay with no debt).

Therapy. I was charged $25 for my appointment this Sunday. UGH. It was a mistake I unknowingly made, but they won’t refund me. I should have scheduled it differently. So I still have five more free visits, and then I will have to pay a $25 copay. At least, I finally have the amount I have to pay confirmed. I don’t know about going to therapy weekly. Cognitive behavioral therapy is not supposed to last forever. Ideally, after I finish the workbook, I should be done. That should take less than 10 sessions. After the 10 sessions, maybe we could meet monthly. I do like working with her. I wish our time together were an hour instead of 45 minutes. Oh well.

Training is kicking my ass right now. I’m off work, but I’m reviewing what we went over in training. I’d much rather be working on my tarot class or doing anything fun.  I also mowed the front yard today. It wasn’t that hot. It was about 83 degrees. I think I might do the back tomorrow. It’s either mowing the lawn or going to the park.

Gotta get back to reviewing training stuff. Bye!