my misery doesn’t like company

OMG! I have Thursday and Friday off for March Madness!!!!!!! YAY. I knew I had Thursday off a couple of months ago but I just got approved for Friday. Awesome. I live for this time of year. It is the best. 🙂

I am now ahead when it comes to schoolwork. So I’m not overwhelmed with that anymore. I think I was a little manic the first 8 weeks of classes. (not in a bipolar way…) And now I’m lethargic. After work today, I attempted to read for fun but instead took a 45 minute nap. All I really want to do is sleep. ALL. THE. TIME. I have been this way for two weeks. I’m trying to pump myself up. Sigh.

My dog won’t take her pain medication. She doesn’t seem to be in pain but I have to figure out a way to get her to take her medicine. I was supposed to take her back to her normal vet this week but they don’t have anything available. Her appointment is next Monday.

I think my 24 hour vacay is off. 😦 The vet bills are a lot and I still have to pay to take my boards. etc. etc. So………..I dunno. I haven’t booked the hotel. As of right now, I’m not going.

Work was bliss (okay, slight exaggeration) for 6 months. Tomorrow I start the hard shit. I go back to my old department. I hope they remember I haven’t done this in 6 months. I will gently remind them if I must. I just want to do it right. That’s all.

Well this entry is all over the place. I’m going to study for my boards instead of napping some more. ha. I’m so excited about having Friday off, I can do anything. 😉

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All Too Well

I may go back to sleeping in my car. I haven’t slept in my car in about 6 or 7 years. Well there was a one week period about 5 years ago when I slept in my car. That doesn’t count. This is what apartment living does to me. I wish I could find my extra thick (and pricey) sleeping bag. It was cold last night. I know I would have been too cold to go to sleep in the car so why not continue to stay in my apartment and not sleep? One neighbor started vacuuming at midnight. And the other one kept on banging stuff. This is not normal behavior from them. Something was going on. To me it was like they were saying, “This is war”.

Except I didn’t do anything. lol. I just sit still when they are home. I will occasionally move to go to the bathroom or if I get tired of sitting in one spot, I’ll get up. THAT’S IT! My sleeping bag is in my mom’s attic. I will look for it but I don’t feel confident about finding it. I knew better than to get rid of it but I should have kept my eye on it.  I used to use that to sleep  in my car during the winter. I would wear layers and get in my sleeping bag. It was actually pretty warm.

I’m not going to be happy if I have to buy another sleeping bag. I can’t remember how much it cost but I know it was a lot (to me). Soon it will be getting warm anyway. But I need sleep NOW not soon…I don’t want to sleep in my car every night but I will. I hope I can find a parking spot. I’m not sure whether I’m allowed to park in the visitor section since I have a resident sticker on my car. They tow like crazy where I live so I have to be careful. But I would probably wake up before I get towed…And I would say, “HEY!”

I’ve been browsing Amazon and I found what looks sort of like my sleeping bag: Coleman Taos Extreme-Weather Mummy Bag I think that may be it. It is definitely the same color. I don’t know. It’s getting warm soon, the last thing I want to think about is buying an extreme weather sleeping bag so I can sleep in my car. Blargh!! People…

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I’m currently making  CDs for my car. I guess most people used their iPods in the car these days. I have no clue. For now, CDs work for me. I’m starting with Fun.’s album. Emeli Sande is next. I’m not sure I like Tegan and Sara’s new album enough to make a copy for the car. I am also doing multiple mix CDs. So fun. I will have everyone from Beyonce to Imagine Dragons on them. Hopefully these will be for a future road trip.

Does anyone ever listen to their music on shuffle and think, “Wow I have such great taste”? Confession: I totally do. 😉 haha.

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More later….Right now I can’t stop dancing to Fun. (I’m not home. Obvs)

sleep is necessary

As you can see by looking at my tweets —> I did not have a good day yesterday…or today but that’s another issue.

I just want to comment on the Michael Jackson drug story. First, let me say that I’m am so disappointed in Debbie Rowe for trying to get custody of her kids. I thought she gave them to Michael as a gift and that her horses were her children. ugh. Does she really want them? Or does she want a settlement or trust fund. Yes that’s judgmental. And selfishly, I am pissed because now there will be MORE MJ news coverage (on CNN, MSNBC etc). I watch the 24/7 news channels when I’m bored. I refuse to wash this garbage. If it isn’t about his music or Neverland, I don’t care! I guess I’m going to have to watch CSPAN for fun like I used to before I became jaded about politics.

I just hope the 3 kids get to stay together. They have too. 😦 (Debbie is only the egg donor of 2).

/end rant

About the sleeping drug thing. This doesn’t shock me at all. I couldn’t take over the counter sleep meds. People with anxiety need something stronger. And I think Michael was way worse than me. So the OTC drugs are crap. He probably had a tolerance to regular prescription drugs. So he got his hands on a deadly sedative. The nurse said tearfully, “He just wanted to sleep!”

Okay…I don’t understand why that is so hard to comprehend. He had a doctor with him. He didn’t want to die. He thought a doctor could save him NO MATTER WHAT…after all the person was a doctor. He would watch MJ sleep and make sure he was breathing.

Some may say it’s callous. Yes it is a little, um severe. But insomniacs (I’m not one) and people with deep anxiety knows what it feels like to JUST WANT TO SLEEP. Hell, if I were him, I might have done the same thing. I don’t even value my life that much. I would just kill myself if I need sleep that bad.

I feel for him so much. Just wanting rest. Your mind is racing. Then you get even more frenetic when you can’t get to sleep. Watch his last documentary, he was always paranoid and anxious.

I guess I’m just posting to say, I know how it feels. It isn’t that strange to feel that way.

He might have done other drugs too. I’m just talking about the “coma inducing drug”.

😦