Too shy. Can’t speak.

I might have part-time work coming very soon! I wish management would be clearer, but this is the way this business works. I guess. I haven’t worked at my second job since December. I really could use the money. First I really need to pay off a credit card (in two years the interest rate will be crazy!). But I also really need a storm door to keep the cold air out of the house. I also have to pay for installation of the door so that can get a little pricey. It shouldn’t be over $300 overall though. I hope to get that installed by mid-September.

My certification test in this Saturday at 7:30 AM. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Um, yeah. I’m way too not anxious about this. Last time I took a certification test (in 2014), I was freaking out all. the. time. I hope I pass. I can take it again in August if I fail. I’ll probably blog more about this in my next entry if I start freaking out. 😉

I signed up for Direct TV Now. It was $35 a month for a great number of cable channels. But I wanted more sports and Oprah’s network, so I upgraded to $50 a month. Right now I’m not paying anything. I have a free trial until Sunday at 7 PM. I’m thinking about canceling because I’m used to not having cable now, and I don’t watch it that much as of now. Is it worth $50 a month?

The good thing is that I can cancel anytime (unlike some cable contracts) so I will probably give it a month to see how much I actually watch the service. The one thing I don’t like is there is no DVR service. Hulu Live TV has it and so does YouTube TV, so that seems odd to me. Are they going to add it at a later date and charge more for it? I would love the cloud DVR service.

Long story short: I will probably not make a rash cancellation on Sunday. I will pay the $50 and keep it for a month to see if it is worth it. If I ever NEED to cancel, it is so easy to just cancel. No commitment.

I’m going do my evening spiritual work (A Course in Miracles and meditation) and then study a little. The NBA finals are on tonight. I don’t want the season to end tonight, but I have a feeling it will.

Good dogs keep enemies at bay

You think I am impoverishing myself by withdrawing from men, but in my solitude, I have woven for myself a silken web or chrysalis, and nymphlike, shall ere long burst forth a more perfect creature.

-Thoreau

I’ve always been obsessed with Thoreau. This is the first time I’ve read that quote. He is so right. He gets it. I don’t think I’m going to be a more perfect creature, though. LOL. I’m just going to be me. And most people can’t handle that. Ain’t that the truth. 😉

I had $120 in credits from Lyon + Post. Thanks to the people who used my referral link. Love ya lots! I chose 4 items and ended up keeping a little black dress. It originally was priced at $248, but it went on sale for $84. I love it. I can’t wait to wear it. It is lined, but it’s sleeveless so I may not wear it until March. Don’t forget if you use that link, you get $30 off also.

Ugh. It might snow here on Saturday. Please no! There will be light snow on Thursday. I can deal with that. I just can’t with inches of snow. They don’t clean my driveway, so I end up stuck. Blah, blah, blah. It’s bad enough that I don’t have water when it is very cold (so far hasn’t happened this winter).

It’s supposed to be 60 degrees tomorrow. Um, yay. But then there’s snow. GRRR!

I hate posting when I have don’t have much to say so I’m going to go. I have to work on my finance planner AKA budget planner tonight. I’m so bad with budgets. If I need something, I buy it. LOL. I guess I’m supposed to spend a certain amount on food and just do without? Huh? I mean I do cut back on some things. For example, I was eating salads for lunch, but that was getting too expensive, so I cut back, and now I eat cheaper bad food. Is that what a budget is? 😉

My goal is to cut debt. Don’t use credit cards (unless I pay them off immediately) etc.

I’m going to post my top 16 albums of 2016 soon. I’m shooting for the beginning of next week. I’m really going now. Bye.

Keep my dreams to a whisper

Amazon Prime Now is the best thing ever! I ordered at 9:45 AM and I received my order at 10:20 AM!!! Awesome. I only tried it because they have $10 off for first time Prime Now customers. Little did I know that the tip would cost me $5.00. I always tip, but $5.00 was more than I wanted to tip. I didn’t order that much. I would have tipped $3.00 which doesn’t seem like a lot less than 5, but to me it is.

Another downside is the availability of the items is based on what they have in stock at the location closest to you. I was able to get a great deal on trash bags (I’m so fun), but they didn’t have a lot of the things I wanted on Amazon’s site.

Even though I loved the service, I hope I don’t have to use it again. Since I don’t have the $10 off, I would only use it if I were sick and needed cold medicine or if god forbid, I needed something and I didn’t have my car. So here’s hoping I never use Prime Now again, but it is so fast. Love it. 🙂


If things go as planned, I am supposed to have the week off for my birthday/vacay in May, and then I will be taking the board exam that Saturday. Yep, I’m going to have to study on vacation. We will be gone 3 nights and 4 days (my mom, dog and me). However, it isn’t that big of a deal. There won’t be internet or TV at the cabin so it should be easy to study. I am bringing a couple of DVDs.

I wanted to take the board exam in June, but they don’t have a date in my city for June. May is the closest date. If I don’t pass, I’m going to take it again in mid-August. I passed my first board exam on the first try. But this one is harder. I will be shocked if I pass the first time.

I have to get my birthday week off. I hope I do. My old manager always made sure we got our birthdays off. This manager doesn’t care. ugh. If I don’t get it off, I will just go to the cabin in June. No prob. I’ll find out in about 2 weeks whether I get that week off.

First I have to pass my final. I’m taking it tomorrow (Saturday) morning. Nervous. I’m so glad I’m feeling fine.

This week I…

Music of the week: George Michael, Dagny, Miranda Lambert, A Trible Called Quest, Little Mix, Britney Spears, James Bay, Mariah Carey

TV of the week: Gilmore Girls,  basketball

My TV is no longer working. 😦 I spent all week TV news free. I don’t feel any better. So many people go on about not watching the news like it is a good thing. Well, I like knowing what’s going on and not watching the news 24/7 didn’t have any effect on me. I thought I might feel better, but not knowing what’s going on doesn’t make me feel better. How exactly does that work? Anyway, I got my news from Twitter and The Washington Post. I don’t think I missed much.

I have to get a TV by March Madness. I can’t get the full effect online, so I need a new TV by March.

Movie of the week: none

Books of the week: I quit reading When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd. I didn’t know she was writing from a Christian perspective. I feel like I should have known that but I didn’t. Too much God talk.

Still reading  Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mt. Everest Disaster by Jon Krakauer. And I just started Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult.

Instead of doing a blog post of all the books I read in 2016 (around 15-16 books), I’m just going to link to my Goodreads. I don’t know why I never thought of that before.

Planner update: Plans in my Erin Condren life planner –

dscn0202

Plans for the Weekend: I’m taking my mom out to eat for her birthday. We are going to O’Charley’s. As I mentioned above, I’m taking my final tomorrow. I should be studying for that right now instead of blogging. I have a lot of cleaning to do. My mom is keeping my dog while I take my final so I’m going to clean while he’s at my mom’s. I’m excited for the weekend.

Thanks for reading. 🙂

okay

I have time to blog this evening because there still isn’t work at my part-time job. 😦 I truly am enjoying this break. I’ve been really stressed out since October. But I’ve had more than a week off, and I’m ready to go back. Sigh.

These past two days I’ve been sucking at food and money. Fuck. I had a bad food day today. I ordered delivery. That affects my money. And then I ordered a printer. It wasn’t expensive but ugh! My dad gave me $50. That’s gone. It went to the printer. Anyway, I spent all yesterday evening trying to fix my other printer. I didn’t fix it. Obvs.

And my boss (full-time job) is making threats of making us work in the office! I was stressed out this morning after hearing that news. I don’t think my dog would deal well with me going to work every week day. He’s used to me being here all day. And when it is really cold (usually during January & February), I often don’t have water. So I would either have to go to my mom’s to shower or shower at the gym at work. What a headache.

That job is so stressful. I know some people have jobs that aren’t and I consider those people lucky. But I’m going to do my best. Whatever. I’m not in the mood to blog so I don’t know why I’m blogging. I was in bed finishing up The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin. I have about 10 minutes left.

The Grammy nominations were…I don’t know what to say. I probably won’t watch the Grammy’s next year. I think it is funny  interesting that Frank Ocean said he was going to boycott the Grammy’s and then he ended up getting NO nominations. Justin Bieber’s album had a few good singles, but the album of the year? LOL. I’m not a hater. I just never listened to him before last year.

I do love that Maxwell’s song Lake by the Ocean got nominated for Best R&B song. Just when I wonder what the hell they are doing, they do something right. I love that song. Boring nominations overall. There’s nothing to be excited about. Am I supposed to care who wins between Beyonce and Adele? Because I don’t.

I’m devasted by the Oakland fire. Anytime someone is just going to a club or a concert or anything music related, and something like this happens, I just feel so bad for the deceased. I know bad things happen all around the world all the time, but there is something about music that just hits me more.

Quick post. I’m going back to finishing up my book before I get too tired. Before I go, here is a great James Baldwin quote:

The American Negro has the great advantage of having never belived that collection of myths to which white Americans cling: that their ancestors were all freedom-loving hereos, that they were born in the greatest country the world has ever seen, or that Americans are invicible in battle and wise in peace, that Americans have always dealt honorably with Mexicans and Indians and all other neighbors or inferiors, that American men are the world’s most direct and virile, that American women are pure. Negroes know far more about white Americans than that…

Preach!

Update: I finished the book. Now onto my other reads…

Free to be me

Mom took me to the park on her day off! I don’t get to go to the park often because mom refuses to go when there might be a lot of people there (evenings, weekends). Here’s proof I had fun:

corgimix

me at the park

 


The more terrorist attacks there are, the more likely Trump will be president. I thought he would pick Newt Gingrich for vice president.

Random: I think my therapist might be a Republican or she just hates the Affordable Care Act. I mentioned it, and she got the strangest look on her face, but if I were in the healthcare industry, I probably wouldn’t like “Obama Care” either.

Some people completely missed the point of Jennifer Aniston’s editorial. They thought she was just complaining about the tabloids. WTF?! Sigh. She was saying a woman’s value should not be based on her maternal or marital status. That’s the truth. People can’t handle the truth, so they look for other things to talk about. I just can’t.

This past week has been a bad week for me as far as Nutrisystem is concerned. I probably gained at least a pound. Probably two pounds. I suck. My goal is to get back on the wagon for the next five weeks because after that; I won’t be on NS anymore.  I will take it one week at a time. Next week will be great. 😉 NO CHEATING.

I don’t have much to say today. Obvs. So I’ll just get to what I consider the fun part of the week:

This week I…

Music of the week:  Tori Kelly, Ellie Goulding, Mariah Carey, James Bay, Ariana Grande, Janet Jackson, Bobby Brown, Prince

TV of the week:  Grey’s Anatomy, Big Brother

I paid for a season pass of Big Brother, so I’m sure that is affecting how I feel about the show this year. At first, I thought ‘what a waste of $20’, but like most seasons it is slowly getting better. I hope this season is worth the money. I’m not rooting for anyone to win. I don’t really like anyone. They’re all just okay. I’m sure that will change.

Movie of the week: none. I might watch Straight Outta Compton this weekend. Not sure.

Books of the week:  Still reading  Along Came a Spider by James Patterson.

I am 86% through Every Little Step: My Story by Bobby Brown. I’m planning on finishing it tonight. I’m through the part where Whitney died. And now I’m getting to the part where Bobbi Kristina passes. 😦 I don’t really want to read that. I know I’m going to cry through it.

Planner update: Plans for July 11- July 17 in my Erin Condren neutral planner –

planner

Plans for the Weekend: Oh! I can’t believe I didn’t mention this! My dad is here. He lives in the Philippines, but he visits the States at least once a year. And…he is staying with my mom!  (They are divorced). OMG. lol. Next time I think he will ask to stay with me, but I’m not going to worry about that now. I took him to the store last Sunday. Awkward. I couldn’t come up with anything to say. That’s the norm for me. Sigh. Anyway, I’m going to my mom’s house tomorrow, so I guess I’m seeing him too. Awkward part two.

I don’t have much planned for the weekend. I might work on better cover letters. That sounds like a plan. My first two cover letters I sent out were subpar. Another problem I have is that I make too much money for most of these jobs that are out there. I don’t make a lot, but the jobs I want don’t even want to pay that. So either I have to move to a place with less rent or wait for my car payments to go away. I need to be okay with less pay so I can apply for more jobs. Simple as that. But I can’t take a pay cut while I’m living in a nice area in the suburbs. I LOVE this area, though. I do not want to move.

Have a nice weekend. 🙂

Could’ve been all these things

The sheer amount of resources being spent right now by press trying to simply uncover whether or not I am pregnant (for the bajillionth time… but who’s counting) points to the perpetuation of this notion that women are somehow incomplete, unsuccessful, or unhappy if they’re not married with children.

I sort of went on a Twitter rant. Well, it was Jennifer Aniston’s fault. Thanks for saying what some of us have been saying for YEARS. Everyone doesn’t have to have kids. Everyone doesn’t have to get married. I think some people think because their life was empty before those things, that EVERYONE else must feel that way too. Um, we are all different.

I feel bad for the people who claim they had no meaning before kids. WTF were they doing? How empty were their lives? How sad. Some women (and men) live for their kids, and while they may judge me as pathetic, I think the same of them. Get a fucking life. It’s not that hard.

Stop living through your kids. That is not attractive. There are women who have lives outside of their kids, and I admire these women because that is not the norm.

Kids this, kids that. Do these people have anything else to talk about? Are they human?

Ignore me. I just had the most meaningless therapy session. (I would still go to therapy if I had kids so stop with that BS). She said nothing worthwhile. I said nothing worthwhile. Here’s hoping the next session in two weeks is better. Now, of course, my job offers ONLINE therapy sessions. If I had known that I would have done that before going back to my old therapist.

Oh well. I’m just waiting to hear back about the part time job.

I can’t believe the Republican convention is next week. That should be fun.

The whole “All lives matter” vs. “Black lives matter” is getting on my nerves. All lives matter…no shit. These people are missing the point of BLM. Who are we dealing with here? I don’t want to call anyone dumb. lol.

I’ve thought racist things. I’ve thought homophobic things. Why can I admit this but others can’t? Don’t call me racist or homophobic though. ROFL. I wouldn’t call most people that for their biases. I just want people to admit that they judge others based on race or whatever. People don’t even know what is in their own brains, or they just don’t admit it.

The Bobby Brown autobiography is so good. I’m almost done with it and I just started. It’s a page turner. I don’t understand why Johnny Gill is almost completely missing from the book. Maybe I’m confused about New Edition or something. I don’t know.

I’m just spouting random shit. Gotta go.

 

Tomorrow is not today

Good things first! It is going to be in the 70s and 80s all week. Does that mean winter is over? I think so. The bad part about this is that I have to go back to mowing my lawn. It is GREAT exercise, so I don’t know why I complain. It’s just hard to get back into the routine. Plus I have a big yard. It takes me two full hours to mow the whole thing. Needless to say, I rarely mow the whole yard at once.

Work is currently kicking my ass. First I can’t work late nights anymore (for no pay), and now we have to DO MORE WORK. *Scream*  And the support I had is kind of gone. I say “kind of” because I’m trying to get it back. When I tell people what I do, they think it’s easy. That is so not true! Our job is so stressful; they spend parts of meetings talking about ways to relieve stress. I’m probably saying too much about work so I’ll stop.

I usually listen to music while working to relieve stress. Sometimes hopping on the treadmill helps. But today I was thinking about work as I was exercising. I had to make myself stop and focus on the music. (I can only get on the treadmill with music. I’ve tried TV and audiobooks, but I get so bored with those things. I have to have music to get through everything).

I desperately need to lose 4 pounds. Okay, maybe I’m being slightly dramatic. What else is new? I’m serious about losing this weight. I would like to do it by May 1. That should be easy, but I like to have cheat days. That is the problem. Most days I eat right and exercise…but some days. sigh. Four pounds. I can do this!!!

I’m so sick of politics. I haven’t been watching the news. I get all my news from Twitter and online newspapers these days. I am still watching the debates, but I don’t know why. I don’t care between Hillary and Bernie. The other side will have Cruz or Trump. Once again, I don’t care.

What am I excited about? (besides the warm weather) March Madness! I had fun watching basketball this past weekend. I’m off on March 17th and 18th for the college basketball tournament. In the mornings, I’m going to do yard work and take my dog to the park. The rest of the day will be basketball, basketball, and basketball.

I know this entry is all over the place. This is where I am. I didn’t mention money problems, but that is always there. 😦 I pay a lot of rent to live in this house. I would be fine if I had my mortgage. But I had to get out of there. I will be seriously looking for seasonal or part-time work starting today.

I already worked on my practicum today. I’m going to see what is out there part-time and then jump under the covers with a book. I’m almost done with Jewel’s book: Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half of the Story. This is the best book I’ve read so far this year.

Bye.