I want a perfect soul

I’m so scared over the VA governor’s race. I know I said I wouldn’t get emotionally involved, but I still want Northam to win. I thought Trump would win, but I was still devasted. I didn’t know I was so affected by the election at the time. I totally blocked out the first 2 months after he won. If Gillespie wins, it is like Trump winning all over again. That is why everybody is following this race. Sigh. I don’t think I can take another Trump win. I’m way too involved in this election.

I’m going to try to come up with coherent thoughts and maybe blog about this more before election day.

I never did an update on my dad. He went back to living overseas about a month ago. He’ll be back after the Christmas holidays. Yes, he’ll be back to living with my mom (and his ex-wife).

My part-time project finally ended. I had a dance party like crazy on Saturday. I was thrilled. I didn’t know what to do with myself on Sunday. Eventually, I made myself study.

I know this entry is very random.

Today I went back to going to the park after work instead of during my lunch break. It was a disaster. Okay, I’m being dramatic. But there were so many people with dogs. I love people at the park with no dogs. LOVE THEM. 😉 My dog does bark at a few people, but not at most. He barks at all dogs. That sucks. I know some of them are judging me for my dog’s barking. Whatever.

I love the park. My dog loves the park. I want the exercise. I’m going to continue going to the park. Their judgemental talk (yes, some people say stuff!) and looks are not going to keep me at home. I will go during my lunch break in the near future. On Sunday morning, we had the best time at the park. We went to a new part of the park and stayed for longer than usual. It was cool and drizzling a little, so the park was mostly empty. It was so nice. I want more days like that. Not rainy days, but empty park days.

What else can I blab about? Oh, I finally got a Roku Express from Amazon! I love it, but it does buffer too much. I can watch Hulu Live TV fine on my iPad, but not on the TV with the Roku. Sometimes I can have the news on for hours (What else would I watch?) with Roku, but this Sunday it just gave up after about 30 minutes of off and on buffering.

I haven’t tried watching Netflix etc. with it. I’m just interested in watching Hulu Live on it. I intend to use it for news and sports on the weekends. Of course right after I ordered mine, I realized they have a new version. ugh.

I better go. I don’t know what to do with all this free time. What did I do after my full-time job today? I studied for 45 minutes, and then I read for fun until I finished the book and now I’m typing this while constantly stopping for a dance party. lol. I feel like such a slacker, but I know I will get used to this “free time” quickly.


Picture me rollin’

M came by today while I was working! Hello, I’m working! Does she not care? Anyway, she invited me to a THREE day Jehovah Witness Convention. Um, I don’t think so. Bible study? Maybe. A 3-day convention? Nope.

Recently I’ve been feeling spiritually bankrupt. I hope this is only temporary. I just feel separated from people. Everyone is triggering me. I’m feeling better now than I was earlier in the day. I’m trying to vibrate with the cosmos 🙂 and not get so irritated.

I probably need to focus on A Course in Miracles and other spiritual books more instead of reading all this other stuff. I’m almost through this reading spree. I’m never checking out this many books again. What was I thinking?

Right at this very moment, Gabby Bernstein has only 20 tickets left for her retreat this July at Kripalu. I wanna go so bad. But it wouldn’t be responsible. Plus I would have to call into work sick. I have only called into work once and never with my current manager. I hope Gabby does it next year.

I got my 20,000 bonus points for using my Venture One Capital card. That “only” equals to $200 off a hotel or airfare. I think I can get to Kripalu for about $550 round trip. The price keeps changing, and I haven’t checked recently. It depends on where I leave from. At one point I was planning to leave from DC, but I’m not so sure about that now.

I signed up for one box of LeTote Select which is sort of like Stitch Fix. My next entry might be about that if I get it on Thursday. I only signed up for blog content. 😉 I’m hoping their stuff isn’t expensive. But I can send everything back. They better not send shorts…or a maxi dress with a slit. Those are my two no-nos. Or white jeans. Ha!

I have to go.

Update: I took a break from my other library books to read A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. I feel like I’m the only person on earth who hasn’t read this book. It is so popular. I’m glad I’m (slowly) reading it now. I will probably post a lot of quotes from this book. But one stands out for me today:

So when we think with God, then life is peaceful. When we think without Him, life is painful. And that’s the mental choice we make, every moment of every day.

I need to do that more. I KNOW THIS…yet I still don’t do it. I was in a funky mood this morning, and I don’t think I even prayed about it. I just kept listing the reasons why I thought I was in a bad mood.

Shoot. There is one more quote I have to share:

How ironic. You spend your whole life resisting the notion that there’s someone out there smarter than you are, and then all of a sudden you’re so relieved to know it’s true. All of a sudden, you’re not too proud to ask for help.

I swear I won’t type out this whole book. Maybe I will have one quote a week. I don’t own this book (I’ll own it eventually), so I feel like I have to capture every quote.

Update #2: I now own the book! I have the Kindle version. 🙂

Too shy. Can’t speak.

I might have part-time work coming very soon! I wish management would be clearer, but this is the way this business works. I guess. I haven’t worked at my second job since December. I really could use the money. First I really need to pay off a credit card (in two years the interest rate will be crazy!). But I also really need a storm door to keep the cold air out of the house. I also have to pay for installation of the door so that can get a little pricey. It shouldn’t be over $300 overall though. I hope to get that installed by mid-September.

My certification test in this Saturday at 7:30 AM. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Um, yeah. I’m way too not anxious about this. Last time I took a certification test (in 2014), I was freaking out all. the. time. I hope I pass. I can take it again in August if I fail. I’ll probably blog more about this in my next entry if I start freaking out. 😉

I signed up for Direct TV Now. It was $35 a month for a great number of cable channels. But I wanted more sports and Oprah’s network, so I upgraded to $50 a month. Right now I’m not paying anything. I have a free trial until Sunday at 7 PM. I’m thinking about canceling because I’m used to not having cable now, and I don’t watch it that much as of now. Is it worth $50 a month?

The good thing is that I can cancel anytime (unlike some cable contracts) so I will probably give it a month to see how much I actually watch the service. The one thing I don’t like is there is no DVR service. Hulu Live TV has it and so does YouTube TV, so that seems odd to me. Are they going to add it at a later date and charge more for it? I would love the cloud DVR service.

Long story short: I will probably not make a rash cancellation on Sunday. I will pay the $50 and keep it for a month to see if it is worth it. If I ever NEED to cancel, it is so easy to just cancel. No commitment.

I’m going do my evening spiritual work (A Course in Miracles and meditation) and then study a little. The NBA finals are on tonight. I don’t want the season to end tonight, but I have a feeling it will.

Good dogs keep enemies at bay

You think I am impoverishing myself by withdrawing from men, but in my solitude, I have woven for myself a silken web or chrysalis, and nymphlike, shall ere long burst forth a more perfect creature.


I’ve always been obsessed with Thoreau. This is the first time I’ve read that quote. He is so right. He gets it. I don’t think I’m going to be a more perfect creature, though. LOL. I’m just going to be me. And most people can’t handle that. Ain’t that the truth. 😉

I had $120 in credits from Lyon + Post. Thanks to the people who used my referral link. Love ya lots! I chose 4 items and ended up keeping a little black dress. It originally was priced at $248, but it went on sale for $84. I love it. I can’t wait to wear it. It is lined, but it’s sleeveless so I may not wear it until March. Don’t forget if you use that link, you get $30 off also.

Ugh. It might snow here on Saturday. Please no! There will be light snow on Thursday. I can deal with that. I just can’t with inches of snow. They don’t clean my driveway, so I end up stuck. Blah, blah, blah. It’s bad enough that I don’t have water when it is very cold (so far hasn’t happened this winter).

It’s supposed to be 60 degrees tomorrow. Um, yay. But then there’s snow. GRRR!

I hate posting when I have don’t have much to say so I’m going to go. I have to work on my finance planner AKA budget planner tonight. I’m so bad with budgets. If I need something, I buy it. LOL. I guess I’m supposed to spend a certain amount on food and just do without? Huh? I mean I do cut back on some things. For example, I was eating salads for lunch, but that was getting too expensive, so I cut back, and now I eat cheaper bad food. Is that what a budget is? 😉

My goal is to cut debt. Don’t use credit cards (unless I pay them off immediately) etc.

I’m going to post my top 16 albums of 2016 soon. I’m shooting for the beginning of next week. I’m really going now. Bye.

Keep my dreams to a whisper

Amazon Prime Now is the best thing ever! I ordered at 9:45 AM and I received my order at 10:20 AM!!! Awesome. I only tried it because they have $10 off for first time Prime Now customers. Little did I know that the tip would cost me $5.00. I always tip, but $5.00 was more than I wanted to tip. I didn’t order that much. I would have tipped $3.00 which doesn’t seem like a lot less than 5, but to me it is.

Another downside is the availability of the items is based on what they have in stock at the location closest to you. I was able to get a great deal on trash bags (I’m so fun), but they didn’t have a lot of the things I wanted on Amazon’s site.

Even though I loved the service, I hope I don’t have to use it again. Since I don’t have the $10 off, I would only use it if I were sick and needed cold medicine or if god forbid, I needed something and I didn’t have my car. So here’s hoping I never use Prime Now again, but it is so fast. Love it. 🙂

If things go as planned, I am supposed to have the week off for my birthday/vacay in May, and then I will be taking the board exam that Saturday. Yep, I’m going to have to study on vacation. We will be gone 3 nights and 4 days (my mom, dog and me). However, it isn’t that big of a deal. There won’t be internet or TV at the cabin so it should be easy to study. I am bringing a couple of DVDs.

I wanted to take the board exam in June, but they don’t have a date in my city for June. May is the closest date. If I don’t pass, I’m going to take it again in mid-August. I passed my first board exam on the first try. But this one is harder. I will be shocked if I pass the first time.

I have to get my birthday week off. I hope I do. My old manager always made sure we got our birthdays off. This manager doesn’t care. ugh. If I don’t get it off, I will just go to the cabin in June. No prob. I’ll find out in about 2 weeks whether I get that week off.

First I have to pass my final. I’m taking it tomorrow (Saturday) morning. Nervous. I’m so glad I’m feeling fine.

This week I…

Music of the week: George Michael, Dagny, Miranda Lambert, A Trible Called Quest, Little Mix, Britney Spears, James Bay, Mariah Carey

TV of the week: Gilmore Girls,  basketball

My TV is no longer working. 😦 I spent all week TV news free. I don’t feel any better. So many people go on about not watching the news like it is a good thing. Well, I like knowing what’s going on and not watching the news 24/7 didn’t have any effect on me. I thought I might feel better, but not knowing what’s going on doesn’t make me feel better. How exactly does that work? Anyway, I got my news from Twitter and The Washington Post. I don’t think I missed much.

I have to get a TV by March Madness. I can’t get the full effect online, so I need a new TV by March.

Movie of the week: none

Books of the week: I quit reading When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd. I didn’t know she was writing from a Christian perspective. I feel like I should have known that but I didn’t. Too much God talk.

Still reading  Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mt. Everest Disaster by Jon Krakauer. And I just started Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult.

Instead of doing a blog post of all the books I read in 2016 (around 15-16 books), I’m just going to link to my Goodreads. I don’t know why I never thought of that before.

Planner update: Plans in my Erin Condren life planner –


Plans for the Weekend: I’m taking my mom out to eat for her birthday. We are going to O’Charley’s. As I mentioned above, I’m taking my final tomorrow. I should be studying for that right now instead of blogging. I have a lot of cleaning to do. My mom is keeping my dog while I take my final so I’m going to clean while he’s at my mom’s. I’m excited for the weekend.

Thanks for reading. 🙂


I have time to blog this evening because there still isn’t work at my part-time job. 😦 I truly am enjoying this break. I’ve been really stressed out since October. But I’ve had more than a week off, and I’m ready to go back. Sigh.

These past two days I’ve been sucking at food and money. Fuck. I had a bad food day today. I ordered delivery. That affects my money. And then I ordered a printer. It wasn’t expensive but ugh! My dad gave me $50. That’s gone. It went to the printer. Anyway, I spent all yesterday evening trying to fix my other printer. I didn’t fix it. Obvs.

And my boss (full-time job) is making threats of making us work in the office! I was stressed out this morning after hearing that news. I don’t think my dog would deal well with me going to work every week day. He’s used to me being here all day. And when it is really cold (usually during January & February), I often don’t have water. So I would either have to go to my mom’s to shower or shower at the gym at work. What a headache.

That job is so stressful. I know some people have jobs that aren’t and I consider those people lucky. But I’m going to do my best. Whatever. I’m not in the mood to blog so I don’t know why I’m blogging. I was in bed finishing up The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin. I have about 10 minutes left.

The Grammy nominations were…I don’t know what to say. I probably won’t watch the Grammy’s next year. I think it is funny  interesting that Frank Ocean said he was going to boycott the Grammy’s and then he ended up getting NO nominations. Justin Bieber’s album had a few good singles, but the album of the year? LOL. I’m not a hater. I just never listened to him before last year.

I do love that Maxwell’s song Lake by the Ocean got nominated for Best R&B song. Just when I wonder what the hell they are doing, they do something right. I love that song. Boring nominations overall. There’s nothing to be excited about. Am I supposed to care who wins between Beyonce and Adele? Because I don’t.

I’m devasted by the Oakland fire. Anytime someone is just going to a club or a concert or anything music related, and something like this happens, I just feel so bad for the deceased. I know bad things happen all around the world all the time, but there is something about music that just hits me more.

Quick post. I’m going back to finishing up my book before I get too tired. Before I go, here is a great James Baldwin quote:

The American Negro has the great advantage of having never belived that collection of myths to which white Americans cling: that their ancestors were all freedom-loving hereos, that they were born in the greatest country the world has ever seen, or that Americans are invicible in battle and wise in peace, that Americans have always dealt honorably with Mexicans and Indians and all other neighbors or inferiors, that American men are the world’s most direct and virile, that American women are pure. Negroes know far more about white Americans than that…


Update: I finished the book. Now onto my other reads…

Free to be me

Mom took me to the park on her day off! I don’t get to go to the park often because mom refuses to go when there might be a lot of people there (evenings, weekends). Here’s proof I had fun:

me at the park


The more terrorist attacks there are, the more likely Trump will be president. I thought he would pick Newt Gingrich for vice president.

Random: I think my therapist might be a Republican or she just hates the Affordable Care Act. I mentioned it, and she got the strangest look on her face, but if I were in the healthcare industry, I probably wouldn’t like “Obama Care” either.

Some people completely missed the point of Jennifer Aniston’s editorial. They thought she was just complaining about the tabloids. WTF?! Sigh. She was saying a woman’s value should not be based on her maternal or marital status. That’s the truth. People can’t handle the truth, so they look for other things to talk about. I just can’t.

This past week has been a bad week for me as far as Nutrisystem is concerned. I probably gained at least a pound. Probably two pounds. I suck. My goal is to get back on the wagon for the next five weeks because after that; I won’t be on NS anymore.  I will take it one week at a time. Next week will be great. 😉 NO CHEATING.

I don’t have much to say today. Obvs. So I’ll just get to what I consider the fun part of the week:

This week I…

Music of the week:  Tori Kelly, Ellie Goulding, Mariah Carey, James Bay, Ariana Grande, Janet Jackson, Bobby Brown, Prince

TV of the week:  Grey’s Anatomy, Big Brother

I paid for a season pass of Big Brother, so I’m sure that is affecting how I feel about the show this year. At first, I thought ‘what a waste of $20’, but like most seasons it is slowly getting better. I hope this season is worth the money. I’m not rooting for anyone to win. I don’t really like anyone. They’re all just okay. I’m sure that will change.

Movie of the week: none. I might watch Straight Outta Compton this weekend. Not sure.

Books of the week:  Still reading  Along Came a Spider by James Patterson.

I am 86% through Every Little Step: My Story by Bobby Brown. I’m planning on finishing it tonight. I’m through the part where Whitney died. And now I’m getting to the part where Bobbi Kristina passes. 😦 I don’t really want to read that. I know I’m going to cry through it.

Planner update: Plans for July 11- July 17 in my Erin Condren neutral planner –


Plans for the Weekend: Oh! I can’t believe I didn’t mention this! My dad is here. He lives in the Philippines, but he visits the States at least once a year. And…he is staying with my mom!  (They are divorced). OMG. lol. Next time I think he will ask to stay with me, but I’m not going to worry about that now. I took him to the store last Sunday. Awkward. I couldn’t come up with anything to say. That’s the norm for me. Sigh. Anyway, I’m going to my mom’s house tomorrow, so I guess I’m seeing him too. Awkward part two.

I don’t have much planned for the weekend. I might work on better cover letters. That sounds like a plan. My first two cover letters I sent out were subpar. Another problem I have is that I make too much money for most of these jobs that are out there. I don’t make a lot, but the jobs I want don’t even want to pay that. So either I have to move to a place with less rent or wait for my car payments to go away. I need to be okay with less pay so I can apply for more jobs. Simple as that. But I can’t take a pay cut while I’m living in a nice area in the suburbs. I LOVE this area, though. I do not want to move.

Have a nice weekend. 🙂