Don’t let me hit the ground

BEARS!

BEARS!

I got two 10 lb bears….by mistake. Nutrisystem sends a bear for each 10lbs lost. The next bear is the 20lb pound bear, but I won’t be getting that because I’m not getting any more NS food after next week. 😦 It is due to financial reasons not because I don’t love NS. But I wouldn’t want to stay on it forever either. My mom says I shouldn’t lose anymore weight. I don’t care what she or anyone else thinks.

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Don’t say you don’t want to sound harsh before saying what you have to say. It only makes what you’re saying sound harsh. Unless, your intent is to sound harsh. Either way it might lead to tears if you care about that kind of thing.

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The vet assistants wanted me to put a muzzle on my dog* because they were scared! WTF! Now I realize that I was so scared because if he did act very aggressive, I would lose faith in my best friend. It wasn’t just about being bitten. Even though I do have an irrational fear of being attacked by animals. That is why volunteering at the animal shelter wasn’t a good fit for me. Some dogs were sweet, but some dogs scared me. It’s funny if I see a dog while I’m walking alone, I’m 100% fine but in other situations I get scared…including with my own pets.

*I know owners put muzzles on their dogs all the time. But 1.) Their dog isn’t my dog. 2.) They aren’t me. The end.

Anyhow, he did get his nails trimmed. Finally. I think they gave him treats to trim his nails. I didn’t think that would work. Since we walk on the (hard) road a lot, I hope that will keep his nails trimmed for at least 4 months. I do not want to go back there any sooner. The whole situation is very uncomfortable.

EDIT: After reading this section, it seems like I’m saying my dog ALWAYS needs to be muzzled. NO. It is only when he is having his nails trimmed. He is sooooo scared and will scream the whole time. He was shaking as soon as we got inside the building. 😦

This week I…

Music of the week:  Tori Kelly, Ed Sheeran, Nina Simone, Bea Miller, Raquel Sofia, Indigo Girls, Crystal Lewis, Miguel

Song of the Week: Bea Miller – Fire N Gold

Sometimes I go through phases where I’m cynical about new music…especially music from young artists. I don’t want to hear anything new. I think I’m done with that phase now. I updated my music blog for the first time in about 2 years. I’m excited about new music again. I want to share unknown artists. I will share here too. I already know next week’s song of the week. It’s sublime. Better than Bea Miller. 😉 I just posted this because her album finally came out this week. This isn’t the best song on the album. I wouldn’t put it in the top 5. Surprised it got picked as a single.

Watched: Big Brother, The Affair, Dexter

Movies of the week: Iverson the Movie

I finally got to see it! It came out on my birthday but I don’t have Showtime and I was on vacay so I couldn’t see it. I loved it but it didn’t tell me much of anything new. I’m a big Iverson fan. I know almost everything. (including the bad stuff). I saw Iverson play in person for a charity event. One of my best memories. I heart him.

Books of the week:  Something Must Be Done About Prince Edward County: A Family, a Virginia Town, a Civil Rights Battle by Kristen Green. Good book but too long. For people who already know about Brown v The Board of Education and other cases, there is a lot of stuff you can skip. I’m mainly interested in Prince Edward County. I know what happened everywhere else she mentioned. I’m 55% through. I’m not sure I’m going to finish.

Planner update:

this week's plans

this week’s plans

In case anyone is wondering….I have a Plum Paper Planner inside a Kikki.K planner. I recommend both! I didn’t get as much as I wanted done this week. Work was more time consuming than I’d plan.

Don’t tell your mother

Update to add: AHHHHHHHHHH! Just like I thought my manager and I will have a meeting on Monday. No, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m fired. BUT it could mean that I have to work in the office or it could be just a warning (doubtful). Talking isn’t one of my skills. I really don’t know what to say. If she can’t see the truth than LOL. I have one sentence I can say. That’s it. It isn’t like I can google an answer to this unique situation.

If she doesn’t think I’m taking this seriously, she could not be wronger. I’m a single person. No significant other to help pay bills. No parents to help with much of anything. I could eventually live with my mom to have a roof over my head, but she has no money because she stopped working to take care of her mom. It’s all on me. I have to work. So YES, I am taking this very seriously. That’s all I can say….and I don’t think that is good enough.

Monday is the day. Nervous. Will my coworkers get want they want? Time will tell.

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I don’t know what’s going on. I couldn’t nap much this week. Napping is my favorite thing. 🙂  Was it because I was worried about my job? Or do I nap because my job is so exhausting that when I do work, I feel so tired that I have to nap? I don’t know, but I do know that my dog hated having the weekend schedule during the week. He was confused. Why aren’t you sitting at the computer and working mom? Why aren’t we eating dinner at 5? Uh, because we woke up later…remember?

Overall, I had a good week off. It was very relaxing.

park

park

I took my dog to the park on Wednesday. Surprisingly it was fun. I finally found the walking trail but by the time I found it, we had been there about an hour and I didn’t feel like walking the whole trail. We ended up taking a shortcut through the woods which was awesome. I love wooded areas. So that was cool. My dog wouldn’t let me sit down. I wanted to read a book by the lake, but that didn’t happen. We went around 10 AM and it wasn’t crowded at all.

On Thursday, I took my dog to get groomed while I went to the gym and ran errands. I took a spin class. Less than 10 people were in the class. Gotta love a morning class on a weekday. I went to the consignment shop but, they weren’t taking clothes that day. They do state on their website to call first but since I was already out, I decided to just go. Oh well. Another day.

The grooming didn’t go well. I expected that. He wouldn’t let them trim his nails. She told me to take him to the vet for that. LOL. The vet doesn’t want to do it either. But I will try there in early August. They have to cut his nails or I can’t keep him. What are the other alternatives? Anyway, he didn’t like the bath or being dried either. Oh well. I guess that will be the last time I go there.  I will do everything at the vet which costs more. Grrr!

Then my mom and I went to Red Lobster. Thank god I did spin and burned 400+ calories. Otherwise, I would be in trouble. I ate TWO biscuits. Plus I had the caesar salad. 😦  But I didn’t eat the croutons in the salad. I forgot a salad came with the meal. The broiled flounder was awesome! I skipped two meals (1 snack and dessert) so in the end it all evens out. She wants to go back to Red Lobster in August. argh. This time I will try not to eat any bread. lol. And just eat the salad and the meal.

Here is a pic of the salad. I forgot to take a pic of the main meal which would have been great food porn.

salad

salad

I saw 130.4 on the scale on Tuesday. It was only ONE day so I’m not celebrating yet. Today I’m back to 131.

This week I…

Music of the week:  Tori Kelly, Raquel Sofia, Crystal Lewis, Ed Sheeran, Nina Simone, Florence + the Machine, Mariah Carey, Shelby Lynne

Watched: Big Brother, Preachers’ Daughters

Movies of the week: Does watching a Lifetime movie count? 😉

Books of the week:  I finished reading Not Fade Away: A Memoir of Senses Lost and Found by Rebecca Alexander. Great book. One of the best memoirs I’ve ever read and I read a lot of memoirs. Moving.

Now reading: Something Must Be Done About Prince Edward County: A Family, a Virginia Town, a Civil Rights Battle by Kristen Green. I live 80 minutes away from Prince Edward County. I didn’t know the history of that county. I never really thought much about Prince Edward County prior to reading this book.  The author used to live where I live now. She talks about how racially segregated it is. I tell people online that that is true. But the way she puts it makes it really sad. It is like people are living in two different cities. The haves and the have nots.

I have a free Audible credit. I’m thinking about getting Ta-Nehisi Coates new book. I dunno. Is it better to read it or is it okay to listen to it? I don’t know why I mess with Audible. I don’t love audio books. I used to listen to them when I worked in the office because that helped pass the time, but now I can barely finish an audio book. I have to use my free credit by August. I need to get something…Every book I want to read I usually come to the conclusion that I want to READ it, not listen to it.

Planner update:

plans of the week

plans of the week

As usual, the weekend isn’t filled in yet.

Follow through

I had a decent NYE! That never happens when I stay home.  I usually go away for NYE but this year I didn’t (because of the dog and finances). Nothing happened. That is a good thing! 😉 Usually there are people shooting guns or fireworks. Nothing. I fell asleep around 11PM while listening to a mental health podcast. I woke up at 12:05AM. I was thrilled. Then I just turned my lights off and went to sleep for real. I know how to party. I’m so glad this time of year is over. I survived!!

Note: I typed everything below the line BEFORE I took B to doggy daycare for the day.

I took B to daycare for the first time today. It was something I wanted to do once a month, just for socialization. I didn’t want to HAVE TO do it. However, I had a lot to do today and I didn’t want to come back to a mess and a stressed out dog so I left him there for 8 hours today. According to the owner, he did very well (Thank Buddha – I was worried) and he’s a total mama’s boy. lol. Also:

1. He is shy around people.

2. He didn’t play with the other 2 small dogs. He didn’t even care that they were there!

THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOO MY DOG! hahaha.

Well, I’m glad that it went well. I don’t know what to make of him not playing with the other dogs. I assumed he would like that. I was wrong. Hopefully I will not have to make this a habit. He was so happy to see me. One more thing: He came back a mess. I would have been pissed if I had given him a professional bath and he came back looking like that. In their defense, it was raining.

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The title of this entry should be “This is why I don’t have kids”. But that would make sense. The dog is driving me nuts. I can’t tell you how many times a day I think this is exactly why I don’t have kids. Cause I don’t want to deal with this crap! And now I have this dog that is like a really bad toddler.

He has serious separation anxiety and aggressive issues (not towards me…yet). If I worked outside the house, I could not even think of keeping this dog. NO WAY. My mom says she would take him back to the shelter. I don’t know how I feel. I don’t love this dog. I sort of like him. He is just so much trouble! But he is really cute and everyone says that to me. And I want to say “do you want to take him home?” or “try living with him”.

Maybe obedience school would help. I don’t see it solving his real issues. The plan was to start obedience school on January 25 but I used the money on something else. Something not fun. I can remove the apprentice on my title when I finish the practicum I purchased. It will take me probably a year to finish it. And then I won’t have to put apprentice on my resume anymore.

Back to the dog: Perhaps the vet will have a solution. I don’t have an appointment yet. It depends on whether they open on MLK day. I might have that day off. All I know is that I will not be working all day. If there was an easy solution, he probably wouldn’t have ended up in the shelter in the first place. As far as the “medicine” goes, I think Nutri-Vet Pet-Ease Wafers works the best but nothing works if he is really wound up. I haven’t noticed the Anti-Stress Pills working but I don’t really know. Hard to tell.

In good news, he seems to be somewhat house trained. I don’t feel good saying he is 100% there but the crate is working…and taking him outside a lot.

Weekly

Music for the week: Mary J. Blige, Whitney Houston, Sam Smith, Ariana Grande, D’Angelo, Lea Michele, Jonatha Brooke, Ani DiFranco

TV for the week: House of Cards, basketball

I see new things every time I watch House of Cards. I’m about to start a Twilight Zone marathon. I LOVED that show as a kid.

Movie of the week: The Rage: Carrie 2 

Book of the week: Coming Clean: A Memoir by Kimberly Rae Miller

I’m only on page 47. I’m sure it gets good. I just have to get into it.

Knitting projects of the week: I started another cowl. I had to do one in purple. This yarn is thinner so it is taking forever. The last one took about 2 weeks. This one will take at least 3. There isn’t much to show but here is the yarn:

 

start of cowl

start of cowl

Still working on a scarf, my lace project and my afghan. Pics of those in the coming weeks…hopefully next week.

whisper, whisper, whisper

cowl

first cowl!

As you can see, I finished my cowl! This is by far the best knitting experience I’ve had thus far. It isn’t perfect. There are at least two known mistakes. Isn’t it amazing how a string of yarn can become a piece of fabric? It amazes me that I made that. I’m wearing it out on Thursday instead of one of my scarves.

I’m shocked that it is wearable. Like I said, I couldn’t find a pattern with my yarn so I searched the net for inspiration. The best cowl I found was Elise’s “super simple knitted cowl“. I didn’t follow her pattern (because I used a different type of yarn*) but just looking at her finished cowl kept me going. I wanted mine to look as cozy as hers and it kind of is. Hers is probably thicker though. I cast on about 105 stitches….I have no idea how many rows I did.

*I used Lion’s Brand Tweed Stripes.

I’m in love with my cowl. Yep, I admit it. 😉  I might have to make a purple one next. I’m really more of a scarf person so….I just made this to make something different.

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My dog definitely and I mean DEFINITELY has separation anxiety (and motion sickness while in the car). He has stomach issues just like humans do when they get anxious.  I ordered two different types of medicines. I hope they work. I would like to think it is just the new environment but I’m not that optimistic. I’m gone for 45 minutes and he goes ballistic. Imagine if I were gone for 8-9 hours a day!!? It would be horrible.

I’m guessing this might be one of the reasons he was at the shelter. It is that bad.  He also isn’t good with kids so that may be another reason.

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WARNING WARNING *************SERIAL SPOILER ALERT************

I have not listened to the last episode of Serial as of this posting. As a true crime aficionado, I sort of feel like I wasted my time. This was the best case she could find? Yeah I know the case came to her but she could have passed. I think Adnan and Jay did it. Do I think Adnan should be in jail? NO. There isn’t enough evidence. Eyewitnesses  AKA Jay are not real evidence. I want forensics. (I have jury duty soon. I would be such a pain on a jury… if I talked. I would never convict someone based on what someone else said. That is NUTS!)

Why do I think Adnan is guilty? It’s simple. He never called Hae after she was murdered. He knew. That’s why he didn’t call her cell phone. RED FLAG.  Her other friends constantly called her. It also doesn’t help that his cell phone pinged off a tower  near the park where her body was found. Of course someone else (Jay) could have had the phone but I’m not buying that.

It was interesting but there are so many more far compelling cases where an innocent person could truly be helped.

I have to talk about Hae a little. She became real to me when they mentioned how Adnan and her danced to K-Ci’s and Jo Jo’s song. I will never find another lover sweeter than you, sweeter than you… That brought back so many memories. What a tragic way to die. So young. WHY? I want to ask WHO DID IT? But I’m 70% sure Adnan did. The reasonable doubt is why I couldn’t convict him.

The whole podcast was just weird (for lack of a better word). I wouldn’t have done a whole series of episodes on this case but it worked for her.

After I finish the final episode, I’m going to research the case myself and see whether I still feel the same way. I doubt anything changes.

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I’m going to bed now. I can’t believe I have to work on Xmas eve and Xmas day. Everyone else is off and I’m jealous! But blessed to be stressed as they say……………….

Mary just don’t give a damn

Um, I know it is important (?) but if I hear one more word about the “Sony Hack” and “The Interview”…. ::News off::

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B

B

Everyone else in the lobby was happy to get their new dog or cat back from being spayed or neutered. I was stressed. haha. That is so typical of me. Seriously I feel like he is bored here and I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t love his toys*. He is not a chewer (thank Buddha??). I take him outside a lot. I don’t have a fenced in yard so I have to walk him on a leash. But I can’t constantly take him out when I’m working. Sigh. Puppy problems. I no longer leave him in his crate during the day, only at night.

*A couple hours after I typed this, he played with his toy for over 30 minutes. So maybe there is hope! yay.

I want a happy dog. Who wouldn’t? He looks at me with those big brown (sad?) eyes and I melt. I thought I was the animal whisperer. I could read their minds. Call me crazy but this is/was true. I’m more animal than human. (Forget that humans are animals for a sec). I hate to admit this but I’m more of a cat person but I can’t have cats for health reasons. 😦

Eventually obedience school will be happening. That’s something to do. He’ll have a blast. That lasts 6 weeks. I’d rather take a local knitting class (lol)  and make my first pair of socks but I can’t do both. I am thinking about taking the knitting class in March. We can bring our own pattern and she will help us make it. Enough about knitting. I would love to take B to a dog park soon.

I have plans but nothing is happening right now. Trying to work and watch after this dog is like watching a toddler when he isn’t sleeping. I don’t have kids for a reason. My dog was 17. I forgot what the puppy years were like plus I had my mom’s help.

End of adventures in puppy-land.

I’m only on episode 4 of Serial. No spoilers please. 😉 I like to listen to it on the weekends when I can give it my full attention. Everyone is spoiling it now because in their world, it is over.

Other random stuff: I’m cancelling one of my book subscriptions. Finally. I was going to cancel so I could get my dog health insurance but Consumer Reports claims that pet insurance usually isn’t worth the price. (Are they referring to middle class people AKA people with money or ALL people? Should I consider it since I’m barely making it? They didn’t mention that so I’m still a little conflicted). I’ve had that book subscription for over a decade. Sad to see it go but I could use the money. I’m going to miss it when I have to go to the library more. I hate returning books to the library. I love checking out though.

I also canceled my Netflix DVD plan. I’m not as sad to see that go.

Weekly

Music for the week: D’Angelo, Kacey Musgraves, Mary J. Blige, Magic!, Ani DiFranco, Carrie Underwood, Sam Smith, Sharon Van Etten

Being a fan of D’Angelo is frustrating. Like most hardcore fans, I had heard 80% of the album years ago (mostly from concerts – including one I attended). I had NO CLUE that he hadn’t recorded all the songs in a studio. WTF? He rushed recording the album due to what happened in Ferguson! That would be fine if I thought the songs sounded finished. I wondered why they were so short. Since when does D do a 5 minute song?? Don’t get me wrong, I love the album. I’m just disappointed to hear that he rushed the studio recordings. What could have been….

TV for the week: Pretty Little Liars, Colbert Report, basketball

Movie of the week:  none. Will I ever watch a movie again? Stay tuned. 🙂 I usually go to the movies on Xmas day but I gotta work and then go to my mom’s house plus NBA basketball is on ALL day.  I miss my movie tradition. I will go back to going to the movies on Dec 25….just not this year.

Book of the week: Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

Knitting projects of the week: I started a cowl on Monday. I was hoping to have it finished by today. ROFL. I’m a slow knitter. This is great practice but I’m not sure it will be useful. I couldn’t find a pattern with my yarn so I just made something up. I cast on about 105 stitches with a 16 inch circular needle and just started knitting. I think this is going to be too small. Bummer! I love the colors and really want to wear it. Here it is so far:

cowl

cowl

And here is my scarf.

scarf

scarf

I’m starting to like the colors. That yarn would have been perfect for a cowl but I don’t think I have enough for a cowl. I hope I have enough for the scarf!

Later.

I can’t wait til we hide from nothing

Looks like I will be working on International Gift Exchange Day (AKA Dec. 25). It will only be for about 5 hours though. I tried to get out of doing the gift thing for Xmas last year. Soooo did not work but at least I tried. :/ I only “have to” exchange gifts with 2 other people so it isn’t horrible.

Hi! My name is Baylor. I’m almost 9 months old. I don’t like having my picture taken.

Baylor

Baylor

I’m in the midst of puppy chaos. I said I would never potty train a puppy or a kid. Well…ARGH! How do people do this? My last 7 month old dog from the same shelter was trained so I hoped that an 8 month old would be too. I guess I got lucky last time. No, I know I got lucky. I got the best dog ever. Anyway, I’m using a crate to train him. If this works, I will consider it a miracle….and I do believe in miracles. At least he is getting in his crate. I’m so glad he doesn’t hate it.

It’s weird because I work at home so he sees me all day when he is in his crate. Yes, he whines from time to time. He is either extremely protective of me or extremely anxious. I would prefer neither. He only barks when he can’t see me, when someone else comes around and when he hears other small dogs bark in the neighborhood (rare). I hope he doesn’t have separation anxiety. It is too early to tell.

Adventures in puppyland…

I finally started listening to Serial. #Late I thought it was some fake crime show! Every time someone would mention it, I would think of all the unread fiction crime/mystery books I have on my Kindle. I’m not that interested in fiction but I die for true crime. A true crime podcast!!! That is my dream. Back to reality:  This is a real story. These are real people. And I won’t say anymore because it would probably be a spoiler.

Weekly

Music for the week: Sharon Van Etten, Magic!, Jessie J, Sam Smith, Mary J. Blige, Ariana Grande, Mary Lambert, Carrie Underwood

TV for the week: Pretty Little Liars, Colbert Report

Movie of the week:  none

Book of the week: Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

Knitting projects of the week: I spent hours and I mean at least 40 hours on that shawl…and I messed it up. 😦 I was about 70% done. I tried to fix the mistake myself and that only made it worse. I guess the next time I made a mistake like that, I will take it to a knitting class and let the teacher fix it. It will cost me but I might learn something too.  I was really looking forward to wearing it.

I learn to knit in April and my biggest concern is that I have no idea how to fix mistakes. I’ve read about it and watched DVDs and YouTube videos on it…I don’t get it.

I know I said I wouldn’t start another chunky scarf but that was before I got this yarn. Most people make beautiful hats with this yarn but I see it and think why not make another scarf?! (I will only have 3 handmade scarves when I’m done with this one).

yarn is denim mix

yarn is denim mix

Here is my afghan so far:

afghan

afghan

 

And I cast on my sweater. Not enough done for a pic.

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More stuff! I almost forgot to share my knitting project bags. I brought two from BrightCraft (an Etsy shop). Forget the bags, she has the best handmade stuff. If I didn’t know how to knit, I would have gone nuts ordering from her. (I try to stay away from knitted items because I think one day I’ll be able to make it, so why buy it from someone else?)

The first bag is purple with black cats. In this pic, it is housing my shawl. I will put my sweater in this bag after I rip out my shawl.

large bag

large bag

The other bag is a France print bag. I have my afghan in it:

SAM_0007

Her bags are affordable when compared to other bags. They are also nicely made. I definitely recommend them.

Afraid of Nothing

I put my 17 year old dog to sleep on Saturday. I don’t really have much that isn’t cliché to say about it. I do have a favorite memory I’ve never shared in this blog. When she was about 3 or 4, she ran away. I was terrified, of course! I got in my car and less than 5 minutes later she was right beside it. Because what is cooler than a car ride? Forget running away, I wanna go for a ride. Another memory is how she would get into my suitcase when I was getting ready to go back to college. I really missed her when I went away.

My favorite moments with her were when we were lying in bed together. I had a tiny twin sofa bed. So it wasn’t comfortable AT ALL. But I always wanted her in bed with me…even when she would steal the covers.

Now I have a new buddy. I’m fostering an 8 month old puppy. He is part sheltie, terrier and corgi. My last dog was a corgi/beagle mix, btw. I think this dog is more sheltie and terrier. I didn’t know anything about shelties until I got him. They can be quite the handful. I might adopt him. He is soooo cute. BUT, he has bitten someone before (at the shelter) and he growled at me on day one like he wanted to attack. It was scary how a big sound could come out such of a tiny dog. I’m a little scared of him…I don’t think that is healthy.

If I do decide to keep him, I will be attending puppy obedience school with him. It costs $119 so I won’t start as soon as I like. Here is the worst part: He is NOT house trained. Bummer. My last dog was so I’ve never had to do this before. I have no idea how to house train this dog. I’ll take him outside every few hours but he’ll wait until he comes in to use the bathroom on the carpet. Yeah, good times. He did use the bathroom outside once today…I was thrilled.

Another bad and sad thing: He wants to kill my guinea pigs. This sucks and is one of the reasons I am thinking about not adopting him. I had to move my guinea pigs to the bedroom. I am never back there so now I rarely see them. 😦 I miss them. I’m trying to think of a solution better than what I’ve got going on now.

I’m overwhelmed and probably still grieving over my dog. But I’m mainly overwhelmed by having a new dog and by work.

Gotta go. I might post pics of both dogs later this week. I’m going to get some knitting done…instead of cleaning or studying.