Fine as I am but I want more

*******BREAKING NEWS***********

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I have a phone interview on Tuesday for the work at home position! I’m pretty sure this is full-time, but I know they hire part-time people too. I would take either. The good thing is I have a three day weekend to prepare for this interview, and it is on the telephone since everyone works virtually. YES! I’m worried about my references, though. I have to get that straight. I gave them three references, but only two are real. Don’t laugh. One of my references died.

Anyway, I took the test and made a 74. The cutoff was 70! I can’t believe they are still interested. Wow. This is what I took the board exam for in 2014. Yep, and this is what I have my certification in. I don’t have a lot of work experience in this field. Well, at least I know what I will be doing this weekend. Studying.

So exciting…but I’m very nervous. Work at home job?? Hello? Of course, I feel the pressure. I feel like this may be my only shot. There aren’t a lot of these floating around.

I also applied for a part-time job on Wednesday. I haven’t heard back yet. This job is in retail, so I’m not dying to get it. The pay is decent.


I’ve found a few great overeaters anonymous meetings. I probably should get an OA sponsor, but the requirements are talking to your sponsor once a day (no big deal) and calling three strangers a day. I would have to go from talking to no one to talking to four people a day???! No way. I would have to ease into that. That’s a big leap for someone like me.

I’m annoyed by those requirements. There are other things too like seeing a nutritionist which I think is a great idea, but I don’t think health insurance will pay for any of it. I’m not overweight* and I don’t have any major physical health issues related to eating so there’s no way it will seem necessary.

(*I was going to mention my weight in this entry, but this is a long entry so I’ll do a separate entry on it later next week. Let’s just say I got my ass on the treadmill today).

The other requirement is abstaining from sugar. That is where a nutritionist would come in for me. I’ve been thinking about it and it, wouldn’t be that hard, but my food bill would go up. I eat biscotti for breakfast three days a week because I love it 🙂 and it’s affordable. It’s also low calorie. I’m still thinking about this. I will definitely lower my sugar intake because sugar is my drug. But complete abstinence? Help!

My point is that if I’m not ready to do the requirements, then there is no point in getting a sponsor. I will appear not ready to change. And I’m not ready to talk to 4 people a day on the phone. But the other things, I’m willing to do.

I did find an atheist OA group. That’s nice.

As far as debtors anonymous goes, I’ve only found one meeting  I love. They meet once a week.  I’m still looking for another meeting. All 12 step groups seem to tell newbies to go to as many groups as possible in the first 90 days, so that’s what I’m doing.

This week I…

Music of the week: Halsey, Britney Spears, Carly Rae Jepsen, Ariana Grande, Ingrid Michaelson, Myzica, Ellie Goulding, Lauren Aquilina

I thought Britney’s VMA performance was pretty good. It’s not her fault she had to follow Beyonce. I still don’t get the Beyonce love. I need someone to explain it to me. She lip syncs sometimes. She doesn’t write (that much?) She does put on a good show. I’ll give her that. I think I hate Beyonce’s fakeness. People really believes she sings, writes and comes up with stuff. BTW, I know Beyonce can sing live. She just chooses not to. She probably has valid reasons. Why tire your voice out when you don’t have to? No one is calling her on it.

I know Britney rarely writes. She lip syncs 98% of the time. But we know what we’re getting with her.  People wonder why she doesn’t dance anymore. It’s because she had a severe knee injury. She had surgery on it.  Some people think both of her knees are injured. I hope not, but I don’t know. Anyway,  that is why she can’t dance like she used to.

TV of the week:  Grey’s Anatomy, Big Brother, Survivor

Movie of the week: I watched the worst lesbian movie ever made. It’s called Loving Annabelle. It was so bad. I can’t believe I finished it. I was bored. It’s about a student and teacher “falling in love” with each other. Yes, that belong in quotes because there was nothing there. It started out with such promise. The premise was good.

Book of the week: I’m reading:

I’m on a waiting list for a few books. I hope I get a book or two over the weekend.

Plans for the Weekend: Well, I was going to mow the lawn, but now I’m studying for this interview. I might mow the lawn over the weekend, but my yard isn’t that bad. Maybe it can wait a week? Not sure. I might stay home for the whole holiday weekend!  YAY! As if I don’t stay home enough. lol. But I rarely stay home on the weekend. I haven’t decided yet. So I don’t have any plans (besides interview prep).

If you’re in the path of the tropical storm: Stay safe! I don’t think we are getting much. It’s cooler, and it’s probably going to rain a little….and it just started raining. I hope it stops from time to time. My dog doesn’t like going outside in heavy rain.

Have a great weekend!

another social casualty

I fixed my dad’s computer. He gave me $20. Maybe that could be my new job. It took me three hours to fix it. I almost gave up.

 I would say that I’m not looking for a full-time job anymore, but if I see dream job material, I’m going to apply.

I found one dream job on Monday in what I have my certification in. They were looking for work at home associates. I took the pre-employment test. I made a 74 (with no real job experience in the field – not bad). 70 is the cutoff. BUT I didn’t have all the required job references, so I doubt I get a callback. Sigh. That test took 2+ hours!! Anyway, I  do feel a little more confident that I could do the job with a little training. NO TRAINING would terrify me.

Last year I got a free Fitbit from work. This year I’m working towards getting a free blood pressure monitor. I’m so fun. There are a lot of things to choose from, and I’m choosing that. 🙂

My Trunk Club is scheduled to come on Wednesday. I changed my mind about Stitch Fix and decided to keep all 5 items. I updated my Stitch Fix review #3 blog post.

This week I…

Music of the week:  Lori McKenna, Ellie Goulding, Alessia Cara, Ariana Grande, Carrie Underwood, Ashlee Simpson, JoJo, Andra Day

Song of the week – Carrie Underwood’s Something in the Water

This song got me through so much last year. I would listen to it for comfort and it worked.

TV of the week:  Grey’s Anatomy, Big Brother, The Olympics

Now I’m rooting for James to win BB.

Movie of the week: none

Books of the week: I’m reading:

Plans for the Weekend: I found flaws in the resume I called “wonderful” so I’m going to work on a new one.  I’m done with Nutrisystem, so I have to do real grocery shopping on Saturday. Now I have to go back to “cooking”. Woe is me. Have a nice weekend. 🙂

may never be what you assume

I got the apprenticeship removed from my title! Finally! I haven’t been this happy in weeks. 🙂 All of that work and money counted for something. I can erase that “A” off my resume.

I’m sick of talking to people who have NO CLUE how to get a job. They don’t understand that experience is required most of the time. And when experience isn’t required, they get hundreds of applicants.

Don’t know someone? Harder to get a job.

Have social anxiety? Harder to get a job.

I could go on…

DON’T PRETEND LIKE THIS SHIT IS EASY. How lucky are these people who have no idea how hard it is to get a job? Do they know how lucky they are? Geez. Count your blessings and stop telling ME how to get a job. It isn’t the same. Go back to la la land where everything is easy.

Sorry. I’m ranting again, but I swear I’m happy about finally getting someone to listen about how I met the requirements for my certification. Yes! They kept telling me I wasn’t qualified. I wanted to read their website to them.

I spent a couple of hours this afternoon working on my cover letter/resume for a temp agency (for part-time work). I have never done a cover letter for a temp agency. I think my letter could be better, but I really want to get this out tomorrow. Hopefully, I will get a call back by Friday.

Oh god. This morning I had $19.44 in my bank account. Good times. I have to get a PT job. Sigh. I’m going to read and watch the Olympics* before heading to bed. Or I might have a dance party. I’ve been doing a lot of dancing lately.

*Go Michael Phelps (Baltimore, baby!!)

I have to go to the bank tomorrow, and then I have a therapy appointment. My therapist is one of those people who is so CLUELESS when it comes to looking for a job. I would kill to be that clueless.

It’s not any fun

Well, it looks like I didn’t get the job. It probably wasn’t only the two-week notice issue, but I’m telling you they really need someone ASAP. He promised to email me. All I wanted was an email.

I’m done with wallowing and listening to Anna Nalick on repeat. I used to listen to Anna Nalick when I was working in the office and needed some comfort on my way to and from work. Now I’m going to listen to Jewel and India.Arie. It’s time to move on. It wasn’t meant to be. I probably would have hated it due to all the auditing. But I can’t be sure. I get audited at my current job (but it isn’t as bad).

I just wanted an email saying “Sorry, we didn’t choose you.” That’s it. Oh well. I’m not actively looking for full-time jobs as of this moment. It depends on how I feel about my full-time job on whatever day.

Should I talk politics or auction? I haven’t done an auction in a long time. Maybe a year? Anyway, I went to see the stuff on Saturday, and I decided to bid on a ton of stuff. I didn’t expect to win it! LOL. Oops. I won over 100 items. Most of this stuff will be donated to the Red Cross. That’s the good news. I will keep only the purses I know I will use and the clothes I can wear. The Red Cross will pick up in my area in August, so I will have the other clothes and purses in trash bags, ready to donate.

I got really good deals. I’m talking $1.00 for eight purses. $2.00 for eight skirts. etc.  I paid $47 for things I’m going to mostly donate, but I do get to keep some stuff for myself. I’m picking up the items on Wednesday before my therapy appointment. I should probably talk about therapy and how I’m not sure I want to continue, but I’ll give it one more shot.

I have real issues, and all she wants to talk about is social anxiety. Social anxiety does affect job stuff, so it does affect my life. But I have other issues too. I think I’m going to make a list of what is really bothering me before I see her this time.

Bernie supporters are getting on my nerves again. I don’t like Hillary or Trump either. But I do have a soft spot for Kaine. Did you see all my tweets on him? I wanted to tweet more, but I held myself back. 🙂 Clinton picking Kaine saved my weekend. It really did. I just didn’t believe she would do it. No, he’s not the most progressive, but neither is Hillary. They’re a match!

Voter turnout will be pretty low this year since most don’t like either candidate. This is great news for people who can’t wait or hate waiting.  However, where I live turnout will be pretty high and who didn’t ask for election day off? ARGH. I hope it isn’t too bad. It’s probably too early to worry about election day.

I’m just pissed because I wanted a nice Democratic National Convention and the Bernie ^%$%ers are ruining it. I empathize with them, but I don’t see the point in booing people. Have some class.

The DNC emails were pretty bad, but that is to be expected in politics…especially when dealing with the Clintons. ROFL. Sorry.

I’m going to go now. I’m so tired even though I just took a nap. I hope work goes better tomorrow. Some of our systems were down today, and I didn’t get much done. That frustrates me so much. Anyway, I’m going to try not to fall asleep while watching the DNC tonight. #Goals

Falling to pieces

Sigh. I think the two-week notice thing killed me. Two people were in the room while I was interviewing. But only the main boss was asking the questions. He made me feel like I had the job UNTIL the two-week notice was mentioned. F&%$. The other woman in the room made a face and said, “You would have to give a two-week notice”. Then they exchanged a look.

They need help immediately. I saw where I would be working, and they have paper everywhere! This doesn’t include the mess that is on the computer. They probably don’t want to wait for two weeks to hire someone. Sucks for me.

I’m still waiting for an email. He said he was going to email me questions. Well, I think they offered the job to someone else, so now I’m waiting for the “you didn’t get the job” email. 😦

The only upside to all this is that I’m not sure I would enjoy the job. Like I said below, there is so much pressure. They get audited by the federal government and other agencies. Talk about pressure! Attention to detail is not my thing. I have to work hard at it. Are you allowed to make one mistake? Two? I would just be waiting to get fired. Sort of like I am with my job now. haha.

I also don’t like being salaried. I know I would spend 50 hours a week at work and still get paid what I currently make for 40 hours. Everyone there seems to work more than 40 hours. I don’t mind working extra hours. I used to do it all the time for free (until a policy was implemented). But if I need a part-time job to supplement my income, how can I work 50-60 hours at a full-time job??!

So there are definitely downsides to this job, but I still wanted an offer. I wanted to make the decision.

This week I…

Music of the week:  Ariana Grande, Rihanna, Anna Nalick, Priory, Britney Spears, Ellie Goulding, Prince, Fifth Harmony

TV of the week:  Grey’s Anatomy, Big Brother, Republican Convention

I think Grey’s and Big Brother are my two favorite TV shows. I’m still not sold on this season of BB, but I say that at the beginning of every season.

I missed Pence and Trump speak at the Republican Convention. I didn’t miss it on purpose. I fell asleep. I’ve seen Trump speak enough. I wanted to hear Pence. I’m sure I’ll be able to catch it on CSPAN.  I wonder how the Democratic Convention will be. I think it will be fun and I won’t fall asleep. 🙂

Movie of the week: I watched Straight Outta Compton. It wasn’t the best movie ever made, but I enjoyed it. I would recommend it to any music lover especially NWA fans. I am too young to be a NWA fan when they were famous, but I know all the members individually. I used to be a huge Ice Cube fan.

I have to say this: I hate Suge Knight.  My hate is justified because I think he had something to do with Tupac’s death. Anyway, this movie made me hate him more. What a jackass.

Books of the week: Once again, I didn’t get to read for leisure since I had to prepare for my interview. I’m still reading  Along Came a Spider by James Patterson. I’m on page 79. Will I ever finish reading this book? I can’t even say whether this book is bad or good. I haven’t gotten to the meat of the book yet. It’s due back at the library on Monday. I’m going to have to renew it.

Planner update: Plans for July 18- July 24 in my Erin Condren neutral planner


Plans for the Weekend: Nothing exciting, per usual. I have to buy yogurt. I know your life is better for knowing that 😉 A thrift store is going out of business, and they are having an auction. I’m going to look at what they have in person on Saturday. I’m mainly looking for clothes. Like I need “new” clothes. ha. I wish I could pick up a clothing rack, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to disassemble it and fit it into my car. Not that I have room for a rack. Whatevs.

I don’t have any interviews planned so this weekend I just want to chill and read. That’s it.

Stay cool. It is going to be so hot here. I usually spend time on my front porch with my dog, but it may be too hot. I don’t do over 100 degrees.

More interview drama


That is all I can think. But I still suck at asking questions. I feel so weird about it. I don’t know what to ask. Yes, I have read all the books, but when it comes time for me to ask questions, I freeze. UGH. I did ask two questions. One was lame. Maybe both were lame. Not sure.

The next step is interview questions through an email tomorrow…if I make the cut. I KID YOU NOT. Email. So I might survive that. I saw some of the competition and that made me want it more. LOL.

I’m not 100% sure about leaving my work at home job for this job, though. I’m starting to dislike my current job. I don’t hate it. I work from home. That is a big bonus, but I’m ready to go into the office…if I must.

More about the job I interviewed for: Like I said it is nonprofit. They do great work, but there is a lot of government shit involved. We answer to the people in DC. There is an office here, in DC, and the state of Washington. (I’m probably saying too much).  And that’s the part that worries me. Do I want that pressure? Would I be leaving one high-pressure job for another? Then what’s the point???

So I don’t know. First I need to worry about taking time from my current job to answer any email questions I might get tomorrow (Friday). I have to ACE that. It shouldn’t be that hard, but I don’t know what type of questions they will ask. Is it about salary or more typical interview type questions?

Am I insane for even considering leaving my current job for this one? HELP. No one can help me. I have to figure this out on my own. SOB.

One more important thing: They don’t seem thrilled that I would have to give a two-week notice before I start working there. They want someone NOW. So if the other people are available now, I feel like I’m at a disadvantage. Oh well. I also have a feeling that pay may be an issue as well. I will find out very soon. Possibly tomorrow. I know they can find someone cheaper than me. 😦

They seem to want me because I stayed at my current job so long, so they THINK I like that type of work. LOL. But it is different. Oh god.

Well, I have to fix dinner and do other chores. I may update this post or do a brand new post IF I get an offer. Someone is about to get an offer soon. Will it be me? Or someone who is available right now? Hmmm.

I do have to go. Tons to do since I let everything slip due to getting ready for this interview. Interviews are no joke. Stress Fest!


I have an interview for a full-time job. It is at the dog-friendly place. I’m sooooo nervous. Buddha help me. What happens if I get it? I shouldn’t worry about that, right? Too soon. I think I would really enjoy this job even though there is some pressure (like most jobs?).

This is only a “brief interview” so it definitely isn’t the only one. Bummer. I guess they don’t do phone interviews.

The bad thing about this job is that I won’t be making much more than I’m making now AND this is a government related nonprofit. If Trump becomes president, I could see this position disappearing.

Gotta get back to work.