I don’t belong in these parts

I’m thinking about taking a 2-hour meditation class. It is next Saturday at 3PM. It costs $38. I need to get serious about meditation. I used to do a 12-minute meditation every morning, and then I changed my work schedule. To meditate, pray and do A Course in Miracles every morning I would have to get up at least 10 minutes earlier.  I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but I already get up at 4:50 AM.

I need to stop reading The Washington Post when I first get up, looking at the news, checking twitter for news, etc. Most of the time nothing is going on, so it takes about 5 minutes to check everything. However, some days there are big news stories overnight, and that leads me to read over what’s going on, and I go down the rabbit trail.

I’m getting frustrated easily especially when it comes to my part-time job. I just think (know?) meditation would help. I guess if I really believed in meditation, I would do it. I would dedicate myself to a practice. I could be working right now, but I’m so frustrated. &*$%.

I think the meditation class is just what I need. It will take place at a yoga studio. I have only been there once. I just don’t want to spend money on it which is silly. I’m sure it is worth the money. It could change everything. I’m sure I will be serious about my meditation practice from there on out. Hmmm. Still thinking about it.

For the first time, I’m really nervous about the Virginia governor race. I have to remove myself from the results. I just can’t get too emotionally involved. I thought Northam would win for sure about 2 weeks ago. Now I think Gillespie will win. 😦 Major bummer. Everyone is watching this race. This is the most important election on election day and blah, blah, blah. Virginia, you are blue or maybe purple. You are not red. Don’t go back due to scary racist commercials.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8): Pink, Demi Lovato, Joan Osborne, Aretha Franklin, Lea Michele, Coldplay, Ke$ha, Kelly Clarkson

TV of the week: Grey’s Anatomy, basketball

The NBA is back!! College basketball will be back soon. Yay!

Movie of the week: Nocturnal Animals. I’m not sure how I feel about this movie. It is supposed to be a thriller. I don’t think I enjoyed it as much as everyone else did. I’m not a big Jake Gyllenhaal fan. I like Amy Adams, but not in this. Blah. It was average, I guess.

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, The Lively Show

I need to listen to more podcasts during the day. I listen at night and then fall asleep during the episode, and I have to listen all over again.

Books of the week: It should say ‘book’ of the week. I’m really focused on finishing The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood. I’m not sure what I’m going to read next. I have a few books on hold from the library.

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren (coming on Sunday)

Plans for the Weekend: Grocery shopping, working, and school work. Do I sound like a broken record or what? This is what I do on most weekends. Gabby Bernstein is doing a webinar at 10AM on spirituality and food. I am arranging my whole Sunday around that. I asked two questions. I hope at least one question gets answered. I’m sure they will get answered somehow because my questions were pretty generic. I would just love for Gabby to say my name. haha.

It’s going to be nice this weekend. That should be a good thing, but that means more dogs at the park. Last weekend, the same unleashed dog came up to me and my dog 3 times!! It is illegal to have an unleashed dog at this park, btw. Anyway…I’m kind of looking forward to it getting cool so fewer people will be there. Only the park would make me say that.

So I can miss Mr. Stalker*, and due to seeing fewer people at the park, I now go to the park during my lunch break. I don’t like it because I can’t linger when the park is almost empty or on a nice day. I have to get back to work, so it feels almost like a chore. It’s not as fun. But I do feel blessed to live so close to the park. I would never drive to the park every day…not even for my dog. lol.

*The stalker hasn’t been stalking me recently. But I think I have seen him coincidently.

Thanks for reading. Have a marvelous weekend. 😉

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not going to hit rock bottom

Countdown:

16 days until my certification exam (!!!!!)

365+ days until my Kripalu trip (LOL)

I don’t think I’m voting in our governor’s primary race in a few weeks. Both of the candidates are okay. Just okay. The one who considers himself a progressive voted for George W. Bush twice! Bush invaded Iraq for no reason and got us into this mess we are in now with Isis. I was going to vote for him until I found that out. And the other guy has an unrealistic political agenda. So I’ll just let other people decide. I will vote for the Democrat in November, of course. But count me out of the primary. I don’t care passionately enough for either person.

The following might sound crazy, but I’m thrilled! I just signed up (and was approved!) for Venture One’s (Captial One) credit card. I only did it for Kripalu. I need miles to cut my costs in half. I need about 100,000 miles for the flight. Sad, but true. I think I can get that as long as I use my card for all groceries, gas, and some recurring bills. I will pay this card off every month. I won’t use it for stuff I can’t afford. I can’t wait to get my card. I need to start earning miles ASAP. I need to get to Stockbridge, MA next summer.

I probably have more than a year to earn miles. I don’t know exactly when Gabby’s going to be there and if she’s not there in 2018 for whatever reason, I’ll just find a yoga retreat or another class to do instead at Kripalu. I have a feeling she’s going to be pregnant next summer and not do Kripalu. That would be great for her. I know she really wants to become a mom.

I wonder would they pay for the room and board. Hmmm. I don’t know enough about “miles” for that. It isn’t considered a hotel so…but it is room and board. As long as it covers my flight, I’m good. 🙂

One thing I’ve noticed since I started praying regularly, is that sometimes I feel unworthy of what I’m praying for or I feel like the Universe/God doesn’t care. Who am I to ask for this when Sally doesn’t have one? That’s probably why I didn’t pray much before. I’ve always prayed off and on to the Universe. But now I pray daily, and I try to pray throughout the day. The truth is, I still don’t feel like anyone or anything is with me all the time.

I’m hoping that working through A Course in Miracles will change this. I’m on lesson 18 out of 365, and so far I’m enjoying it. However, it is very different than anything I’ve ever done.

This week I…

Music of the week: Amos Lee, Paramore, John Mayer, Alana Davis, Carly Rae Jepsen, Jojo, Myzica, Rachael Yamagata

I got a new cellphone. I’m an android girl and believe it or not, my last phone did not have a place for an SD card. I was pissed when I got home and found out I couldn’t put 1/10th of my music on there. I wrongly assumed that most phones had SD card slots. This time I made sure to get a phone with space for an SD card. Well, I spent spurts of this past week putting only the music I LOVE on my phone. It took forever to go through each song on my computer. It came up to 8GB of music. Not too bad. I have about 32 GB of music on my computer, and I bought a 32GB SD card, but I didn’t want songs I only like on there. I want to be able to shuffle my music and love every song.

Anyway, I now have 1,791 of my favorite songs with me at all times. The point of this story is that I love music and I will always have my fave music with me. Music is my life! 😉 Also, if you like pop music, the Paramore album is pretty good. I love pop. Obvs.

TV of the week: House of Cards, NBA Finals, French Open

I’m not rooting for anyone in the finals. I don’t hate or love LeBron or Steph Curry.

Movie of the week: I might watch Moonlight this weekend or definitely by next week.

Books of the week: I have so many books on hold at the library. I can only hold 2 more books. None of them are coming in yet, so I started Tears to Triumph: The Spiritual Journey from Suffering to Enlightenment by Marianne Williamson.

Still reading: A Course in Miracles and  A Course in Miracles Made Easy: Mastering the Journey From Fear to Love by Alan Cohen.

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren

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Plans for the Weekend: Hopefully I will be studying. That’s the plan. I have to go to two libraries on Saturday. I might study at one of the libraries, but I’ve never studied at a library on a Saturday so I don’t know how crowded it will be. I would love to reserve a study room and study for a couple of hours. That sounds like a good idea. I might do that.

Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful weekend! 🙂

empty all my pockets if you like

Here is my political post for the year.

I’m so disappointed in the Obama administration. I hate how they are running the campaign. I don’t see how any independents can vote for him if I have issues with him.  I don’t get it. I see him losing in November. I really do. I don’t hope he loses. He isn’t that bad. It isn’t just his administration, I’m weary of all the Dems and even the liberals. I’m just through. Done. Tired.

Both sides are engaging in the negativity but perhaps I expected more from one side. Maybe it is because I live in a swing state and the commercials are finally getting to me. Or maybe I consume too much news.* I’m sure watching the Republican Convention isn’t helping. I don’t know. Maybe next week’s Democratic Convention will turn me on. I doubt it but I will give it a try.

*I need to go back to primarily listening to NPR. I used to listen every morning but then I started working from home and now I watch Morning Joe everyday. Is that the problem? 😉

As I’m typing this, I keep going “I don’t know. I don’t know” because I really don’t know what is bothering me so much.

Here is my Obama theory: He is waiting for his next term to do what he really wants to do. That is why he has to win. He knows he can’t lose or he has failed (despite passing health care reform and getting Bin Laden). Why has the election gotten so nasty? Obama knows he has to win. HAS TO or he will look like crap in history. The problem is that I don’t know what he really wants to accomplish. Are we on the same wavelength? He is so smart so I  don’t believe that he doesn’t see what I see. He has to know what is going on. He is f%$^ing brilliant! Maybe this is part of my frustration. Here is this intelligent man who is doing some WTF stuff. He must be waiting for his next term. That is the only thing that makes sense. (Plus he told a leader of another country just that).

On the other hand, I have no idea what kind of president Romney would be. I’m leaning towards not that bad of a president but since he keeps “changing his mind”, I don’t know what he would really do.  I do believe he is faking his hard core conservative beliefs. (But Paul Ryan is not faking it).  But who knows? He could have been faking it to be the governor of Massachusetts. I give up. I have no clue.

I’m not voting for Romney. That is not happening. There is no doubt in mind about that. So that leaves Obama. I guess I just want to be excited to vote in November. And I’m not. I don’t even want to go through the trouble of getting up at 5AM vote.  No, I’m not doing that. I just decided I’m voting on my lunch break. People where I live don’t tend to go crazy over voting so I doubt there will be a line and if there is, I guess I’m going back home. I am going to make myself vote. If I didn’t live in a swing state, I might let myself off the hook but I can’t not vote. I just can’t.

I don’t think Obama is the lesser of two evils. Politics has just gotten so bad that everyone is looking bad.

Through blogging it out, I have realized that I’m just not excited about voting for Obama but I will. And I’m really, really sick of this election cycle. It’s horrible (especially if you live in a swing state). I want to vote for a politician who stands for what I believe in. I did that once in a primary. I had hopes for Obama but…………

I just want to scream. It will over in November. Hopefully. Reminder: Gore V. Bush.

Did I just blog about how corrupt politicians are? *********BREAKING NEWS*******

I also just find some things about America really depressing. The lack of jobs. Companies aren’t going to stop sending jobs overseas if they can get work cheaper that way. (higher taxes for companies that outsource jobs – child, please!) Call me cynical, I think the jobs are gone for good. There is going to be a crisis. It will be worse than it is now.

The racial overtones of this whole election and the way the poor are getting shafted from both sides…maybe more on one side than the other.  Depressing.  I wish the poor would vote. I do understand why they don’t vote. I grew up poor (in the projects for about 5 years) so I get the mentality but it is still exasperating.  I’m reading a book about the penal system. This quote sort of reminds me of something going on in America today:

They repeatedly raised the issue of welfare, subtly framing it as a contest between hardworking blue-collar whites and poor blacks who refused to work. The not-so-subtle message to working-class whites was that their tax dollars were going to support special programs for blacks who certainly did not deserve them.

Sound familiar? I will have more quotes from The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander . Great book but a depressing message. 😦