Hurts like hell

It sucks to write about this. I think my dog is in the beginning stages of kidney failure. He is only 4 1/2 years old. I thought we had at least a DECADE more together. 😦 I’m taking him to the vet on Monday. I will probably know for sure on Wednesday or Thursday once the lab results come back. I yell at him a lot, but he is my only friend.

Speaking of yelling at my dog. UGH! He ate my Nutrisystem chicken breast tonight!! &$%^ I am still pissed. I usually put my main dinner on one plate and have a plate for my salad, but tonight I had it all on one plate, so I had to throw my awesome looking salad away. And I only had two bites of my chicken breast. ARGH! Yes, I screamed at him. :/

I’ve lost a total of 7 to 8 pounds in seventeen days. Not bad considering I’m not exercising because I hate winter. 😉

I had my first hardcore cravings on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. I wanted to cheat so bad. What did I want? On Wednesday, I would have eaten anything bad. On Tuesday, I wanted pork. I wanted to order from the Jimmy Dean restaurant. I would have ordered sausages and pancakes. Yum! I didn’t cheat because of money. How foolish would it be to spend so much on Nutrisystem and then ruin it by eating out? That was about 90% of it. The other 10% was about me feeling like a failure. I didn’t want to cheat and feel like shit afterward.

I hope I can keep my cravings at bay. I didn’t crave anything “bad” today. Sometimes I think it has to do with the stress of work plus being hungry. That’s what happened on Tuesday. I was so frustrated about work. Then Jimmy Dean sausages sounded so good. Okay, I’ll stop.

I have the week of my birthday off. So far it looks like I’m going to the beach for 4 days and 3 nights. Well, I really don’t know. I want to pay by February 20, but it depends on money. I have a lot of points from Capital One so the hotel bill won’t be that high. Thank Buddha! But the hotel is still expensive since I’m booking one that allows dogs. I’m so glad I have points. I’ll post pics of the suite after I book. It’s really nice. Full kitchen. I could stay on Nutrisystem while I’m there, but that’s probably not happening.

Astrology class. What can I say? I hate that discussion is 40% of our grade. If anything stops me from continuing there, it might be that. As of right now, I’m definitely skipping spring semester. I’m thinking about going during the summer. I LOVE THIS STUFF. I want to know everything…now! I would love to get a diploma* from their school, but the discussion in class and online might kill the fun.

*They used to offer a Bachelor’s in Astrology, but some uneducated snobs decided astrology wasn’t worth a degree, so their program ended about a decade ago. They are a “real” college that has all kind of degrees, but I can only get a certificate or diploma in astrology. As long as I learn something, it is worth it.

Election 2020 talk. Kamala Harris…NOPE! I knew she was a prosecutor. That doesn’t automatically make her a bad person. LOL. But she denied a look into police behavior while she was a prosecutor. I’m done with her. I’m so sick of all these fakes running around calling themselves progressives. Fuck that. I’m not voting for these people!!! I will stay home on primary day if all I have to choose from are LIARS. Yes, I’m pissed.

Marianne Williamson seems bothered by the lack of press coverage. 😦 I feel bad for her, but she’s not giving up. She knows she has a long road ahead. Damn, I feel like I don’t have many options. What are the chances I will get to vote for someone that believes in 85% of what I believe? The last time that happened was when I voted for Howard Dean. I knew he wouldn’t win by that point, but I still voted for him in the primary.

Too bad Beto O’Rourke is untrustworthy, and Bernie is well, Bernie. Sigh. No one for me. I’ll guess I’ll be stuck with whatever fake ass Democrat half of America selects. I hate fakeness if that’s not obvious. I keep forgetting about Elizabeth Warren. I guess I’ll vote for her in the primary if Marianne isn’t on the ballot. Oh, I have to mention that I don’t know enough about Julian Castro to even mention him. That’ll change by next week. 😉

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Kari Jobe, Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, First Aid Kit, Kacey Musgraves, Lissie, Maggie Rose, Aretha Franklin

TV of the week:  basketball, You, Nashville

I’m so excited for Duke vs. UVA this Saturday. I have it written down in my planner. I’m a fan of both schools, but needless to say I’m rooting for UVA this weekend. You is a creepy show on Netflix. I don’t know whether I like it yet. I’m only on episode 2. I only started watching because I’m a Penn Badgley fan.

Update: Oh You was on Lifetime and it didn’t do well. I can see why. It seems very Netflix-ish. I wonder what that means for a season 2 if season 1 didn’t do well. It’s doing great on Netflix. I think I love the show now that I’m on episode three. So creepy. I love stuff like this. Give me slow horror.

Podcasts of the week: True Crime Garage, Pod Save America, All In with Chris Hayes, The Bill Simmons Podcast

Books of the week: I’m mostly focusing on astrology books. I’m doing a list of the top astrology books for beginners soon for my other website. The book I’m reading now is awesome but not for beginners. It’s called How to Co-Create using the Secret Language of the Universe : Using Astrology for your Empowerment by Pam Gregory. The Kindle version (which is what I have) is on sale for $3.99. Insane value for that price. Also reading:

Planner Spread for the week: I didn’t do a full bullet journal spread this week. I just used my regular planner. However, I do have my spread from last week:

Plans for the Weekend: I’m working overtime on Saturday. My paycheck will look decent next week. I worked more OT than usual. woohoo! I have to go grocery shopping on Sunday.

The most important thing is SCHOOL. I’ve been doing well. I’m ahead of schedule, but today I blogged here and worked on my tarot and astrology website instead of doing homework. Lame. But I feel like I have to work on my business. I can’t just sit here and do nothing. Since I’m not advanced enough yet, I’m thinking about getting an astrologer to tell me WHEN and IF it is a good time for me to start a business. If he or she says ‘never’. Fine. I will just do tarot and astrology for fun. I really, really, really, want to be an astrologer so I will be disappointed if that’s not on my path. I don’t want to force it. I have a lot of interests. That doesn’t mean all my hobbies should be a business.

I already started the tarot and astrology thing so…oh well. If it’s not meant to be. I’ll do it for free and spend a whole lot less time dedicated to it. In addition to law and accounting, my chart also says I should be a teacher (nice – there are lots of ways to teach) and an interior decorator. I love looking at nice spaces. Love it, but doing it is so not me. One day I will do a ‘report’ on exactly what my birth chart says. 95% of it is accurate. That’s why I believe in astrology.

Well, I have to go now. I’ve rambled long enough. I have my homework done for the discussion board, but I’m scared to post it. It’s not due until Tuesday. Hmmm. I will probably post of it over the weekend. Why am I still rambling?!

Thanks for reading! Have an excellent weekend. 🙂

Done jumping through hoops

What have I done? That is the question of my life. Let’s see. I signed up for an online Astrology School. It’s the best one out there so it isn’t as cheap as I would like. I think I still have a couple of days to get a refund. But I doubt I do that. I’m only taking one class because that’s what is recommended and it is expensive. I’m not sure whether I’m going to get a certificate (3 courses) or a Professional Diploma (at least 12 courses – minimum of 3 years to finish).

Orientation is January 6. And then we have 11 or 12 weekly classes on Sunday afternoon. It is a webinar like class. They want us to have a webcam, but I’m using my camera on my Mac. I think it is good enough. I may reconsider. I did buy a headset from Amazon. It is highly rated, noise canceling etc.

I’m nervous because participation will be part of my grade. I’ve already decided that I HAVE TO participate online. I’m not sure about participating during class time. If I’m called on, of course, I will participate. However, if they expect us to just um, talk. Oooh. I don’t know about that. That’s scary shit!

So if this class goes well, I might take more classes. I’m not going during the summer semester. I might go during the Fall. I would like to IF I like the first class. Even if I don’t like the first class, I know I will learn something. I will probably learn a lot. I tried learning this stuff on my own, but sigh. Astrology is so hard. I love it but…hard.

Oh, I also signed up for Nutrisystem. Haha! I was on NS about 3-4 years ago. It worked. I hope to stay on it for at least a year. I just want to lose about 20-30 pounds and then maintain it. 20 pounds is probably more realistic since I’m on a shitload of medicine that causes weight gain. During the winter, I always gain weight because I go into hibernation.

I would go off NS for money reasons OR because I still eat out and don’t follow the diet. I wanted to start on Monday, Dec 31 but I don’t think my food will be here by then. So I will probably plan to start January 6 or 7. I’m going grocery shopping on Sunday. I will try to buy as little food as possible.

Oh! The most important issue. My dog:

His second lab result came back fine. I was ecstatic for about 4 days. But on Wednesday night, he had kidney issues. I think. He couldn’t hold his urine, but everything seems fine now. I will take him to the vet if necessary. I’m not sure what’s going on since the vet just said everything was fine. UPDATE: Well, since Wednesday night everything seems fine. I’m typing this on Friday night.

Woohoo! I just found out my unfrozen food is coming tomorrow! WOW. That’s fast. I usually order more frozen food than unfrozen, but this time I didn’t. So I have a lot of food coming tomorrow. Since I have to take my mom out to eat for her birthday on Sunday, I won’t start Nutrisystem until Monday, December 31. The frozen food should be here by next Friday.

We’re going to O’Charley’s (her choice) for her bday. I was going to order salmon, but nah. I’m eating my last burger for a while. Should be fun. 😉 My last restaurant until my birthday in May?? I hope so. I have to talk about my birthday plans. My main concern is how expensive it’s going to be since I’m taking my dog. (Only the expensive hotels with suites allow dogs. Why is that?) I’m also worried the 3 out of 15 hotels that accept dogs will sell out before I can book. I hope not. I haven’t had a real beach vacation in years. I used to go every year. LOL. I just typed out – every week. I wish I could go to the beach every week.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Ellie Goulding, Ariana Grande, Rachel Platten, Rachel Kerr, Alessia Cara, Coldplay, Kelsea Ballerini

TV of the week:  basketball, The Haunting of Hill House, The Innocent Man

I finished The Haunting of Hill House. I would give it a B-. I lost interest during the last 3 episodes, so I don’t really know what happened…but I watched it.

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week:  Pod Save America, Septic, The Astrology Podcast, The Lively Show, True Crime Garage

Books of the week: Now reading:

Speaking of books, I got my two textbooks for my astrology class. I have started reading one. The other is a little too advanced for me to get right now. I will probably list them in this section once class starts because I won’t have time to read much else.

Plans for the Weekend: I’m working overtime tomorrow morning. On Sunday, I’m going on a quick grocery store trip and then taking my mom out to eat. I’m not working on New Year’s. I didn’t get to work on Xmas. I tried, but they wouldn’t let me. :/

This will be a busy weekend because it’s my last free weekend before school starts. I finished all but one of my blog posts for January (on my tarot/astrology website). I have a tarot reading to do. I would love to get that done on Saturday. I have a ton of pics to take for Instagram. I have to work on my eBook. I want to release that on January 17th. I have about 15% done. Ick. I eventually want to turn this eBook into a webinar which is really scary. But that won’t happen until April or May or maybe summer. LOL. Who knows?

Have an excellent weekend. Thanks so much for checking in! 🙂

There’s air in between

I was so excited. I was going to take an in-person astrology class. I’m taking an online written college like astrology course, but that course is intermediate. I get most of it, but I got stuck on something and blah, blah, blah. I’m still going to finish the online course. Anyway, I really wanted to do the local course, but then the thing with the landlord happened. Did I really want to spend $135 on a much needed (lol) astrology course? More importantly, did I want to spend 4 Thursday nights in class? Not really. I have to work the next day. Class is from 7-9 PM.

I found two Udemy courses I really like. The cost of both classes combined was under $25. I consider that a win. I’m sort of bummed about not taking the local astrology course, but if I don’t get something with the Udemy courses, I can take the local course IF they offer it again. I hope people show up and show interest.

Astrology is hard, but I love it. But I like that I have the two Udemy courses. I can watch them over, and over, and over.

I’m worried about my dog (see entries below). I can’t get in touch with the vet as of right now. I don’t think I need to speak to a vet. I just need someone, anyone to tell the lab to do the test. Why do I need a vet for that? If I were to call my doctor’s office, they would let me speak to a nurse. UGH. I feel very reversed Queen of Swords which means I feel frustrated because the receptionist probably didn’t understand that I didn’t need to speak to a vet?? Why did she make that assumption about a vet? I’m so confused.

I finally got in touch with a vet tech. Geez. I emailed them. No response. Spoke with and left a message with a person. No answer. They only hold urine for a few days. The test must be done ASAP. Thank god they finally got that I didn’t need to speak to a vet. All that matters is that my dog is going to be okay. I really hope he isn’t going through kidney failure. 😦

About my ex-landlord, he wants me to pay $400 a month. Okay, fine. Well, that does mess up my debt repayment plan. I won’t get to pay 25% of my debt off this year. One goal ended before it started. Oh, another issue is that he didn’t say how long I have to pay the $400 for. LOL. Um, forever? He said he has to get new carpet (carpet looked fine to me) and of course get the water from under the house. I don’t know if there is anything else. So according to him, that is at least $2500. He might not know the total cost yet because they probably haven’t started the work yet.

So now my goals for quarter one are learning tarot by heart and being an astrology expert. I’m sort of joking about the astrology thing because no one can become an expert in that in just one quarter, but I’m going to try to learn as much as possible. It’s easy to have goals for learning tarot without books/resources, but I don’t even know where to start with astrology. How do I break it down?

I would also like to lose weight, pay more debt off, don’t add to debt and blah, blah, blah. But tarot and astrology are the main goals since they are business related. Speaking of business, I’m burned out. Im thinking of taking a brief (a week or two) break from social media and not promoting anything. I can do that because I can somewhat easily schedule posts in advance.

I might do it the last part of January. On January 15th, my newsletter/eBook comes out so, after that, I’m resting. Yeah, I think I will take a week off from Instagram. That is my main thing. I post to Facebook and Twitter 2-3 times a week. I post to Instagram almost daily.

I want time to study online business building (plus tarot and astrology), and I need time to just clear my mind. Sounds like a plan. No major online work for the last two weeks of January. Woohoo!

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Ariana Grande, Mariah Carey, Lauren Daigle, Tori Kelly, Alessia Cara, Aretha Franklin, Missy Higgins, Maggie Rogers

TV of the week:  basketball, Survivor, The Haunting of Hill House

I think I’m almost done with The Haunting of Hill House. Good concept, but so far I don’t get why people LOVE it so much. It’s a decent show, but not mindblowing.

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week:  Hardball with Chris Matthews, Online Marketing Made Easy, Pod Save America, Pursuit With Purpose, So You Wanna Be a Witch, The Lowe Post, True Crime Garage,

Books of the week: Now reading:

  • White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo – Every person should read this book. Not just white people. Robin DiAngelo is a white woman trying to speak to other white people. It is mostly about black and white relations. I kind of hate to say this, but it’s TRUE. (what a concept!) Black people are considered the least desirable people – not in a sexual way. But in a normal, everyday way. So I’m glad she focused on black and white relations. I have about 40 pages to go before I’m done. I think only white progressives will read this book. Most conservatives whites, won’t even acknowledge that racism exists.
  • Racing to The Finish: My Story by Dale Earnhardt Jr – I love Dale. Not sure I’m going to love the book. I just checked it out from the library because I sort of admire him for being different in NASCAR.

Plans for the Weekend: I’m working overtime on Saturday. Then I’m FREE! So far. I haven’t had much free time lately. I have a tarot reading to do. I would like to finish that on Saturday. I’m going to probably study astrology and plan more of quarter one. I’m going to try to do at least 6 tarotscopes this weekend. Eventually my tarotscopes will have more advanced astrology and they will be so good. 🙂 Just wait for about 3 months. ha.

I hope the government doesn’t shut down. I’m probably going to listen to a few news podcasts tonight. I haven’t been following the news that much due to my new living situation. Long story. Have a great weekend! Thanks for reading. 🙂

I have a famous dog​

OMG! Last week was the first weekly update I’ve missed in YEARS. I’m kind of sad because I like to keep up with what music I’ve listened to that week. lol. Oh well, I will update this weekend. So busy with this tarot/astrology stuff and I’m also working a little OT. 6 hours this week. I’m trying to work on Christmas, but I don’t know if the system will be up. Hmm.

Another short entry. Oh, and my dog got a bunch of vaccinations today. He was wandering around like a lost puppy earlier. He seems better now. I shouldn’t have gone on Bing to do more research. HORROR STORIES.

It’s 10PM now. Going to bed. A pic of my dog is going to be on the local news tomorrow. YAY. 🙂 🙂 😉 Hope he feels better ASAP.

Wish I hated everyone

I didn’t end up going to the psychic festival. 😦 I was so sick with allergies. Now I’m taking Zyrtec every day. Because I can’t swallow pills, I have to take the dissolvable kind which is ridiculously so much more expensive than the regular tablets. Grr!

Anyway, I don’t know what I’m allergic to. It could be the house, or it could be my dog. I adopted my dog about 8 months after I moved here. So I don’t know which is causing the allergies. I don’t see anything in the house that could cause it. My mom is convinced it is “invisible mold” because when my sister and I were young, we lived in a house where it took a while for the mold to show. My sister was always sick, but they couldn’t figure out why. So I guess it could be “invisible mold” or it could be my dog.

Whatever. If it is the house, I’m moving in less than 2 months and if it’s my dog…oh well. I’m stuck with him. 😉 Speaking of medical things, I’m getting my first flu shot EVER on Tuesday. I better not get sick. I’ve never had the flu. I’m only getting one because I signed up by mistake through work. I meant to just sign up for the checkup so I can save money on my health insurance. I might see if I can get out of it once I get to the appointment.

Let’s talk about more medical things because that’s exciting, right? I ordered more Abilify. I didn’t want to pay the $75 copay (between my dog and me, our meds are expensive!). However, I can’t stop taking Abilify right now. For the past two years, I have stopped around Christmas. I’m not into Xmas or anything. In fact, I hate it, but that’s not the point. I’m getting ready to move and I don’t want to go through the winter depressed and nauseous. I’m already depressed because winter SUCKS. I hate winter! I’m seriously thinking about moving somewhere where there aren’t winters. It won’t be LA because it was cold when I was there. lol.

Anyway, I’m going to TRY to stop taking Abilify in June of 2019. I’m going to the beach for my birthday in May* and then I will try to stop the Abilify. I’m on the lowest possible dose. I only take it 5 days a week. Maybe I should try to take it 4 days a week and see what happens? I think I will start that next week.

*Unfortunately this will be a semi-expensive beach trip. None of the hotels on the beach that I love will accept dogs. 😦 So I will have to get some really fancy place, even though I could care less. I don’t want to leave him at the vet. Besides the money I would spend on boarding almost equal what I’ll end up paying at the expensive hotel. My mom is coming too so I hope I can find a suite. In the cheaper hotel, we always got a suite. But the pet-friendly hotels, already cost too much so I will probably just get a room with 2 queen beds. As long, as the room has a balcony (A MUST!!), I’ll be fine.

Should I talk about moving? Noooooo! I think I’m in denial. I start packing next weekend. I still don’t have a move date. I’m still terrified of notifying my landlord. It doesn’t really matter when I move, I’m still paying for rent and electricity (so the pipes won’t freeze) until at least December 31. But I want to move to my mom’s by Thanksgiving. In case I haven’t mentioned it, I don’t have a lease. I haven’t had a lease in 5 years. Weird, I know.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Mariah Carey, Maggie Rose, Janet Jackson, Christina Aguilera, Carrie Underwood, First Aid Kit, Joan Osborne, Pistol Annies,

TV of the week:  Nashville

I will probably start watching basketball soon. Of course, I’m watching the news since they stopped talking so much about Russia.

Movie of the week: I might watch the RBG documentary on Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I don’t know much about her. All I know is that she is on the Supreme Court.

Podcasts of the week: All In With Chris Hayes, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Online Marketing Made Easy, True Crime Garage, The JJ Redick Podcast, The Bill Simmons Podcast, The Lowe Post, The Rachel Maddow Show, Why is This Happening, What Should I Read Next?

Books of the week: 

Currently reading –

Plans for the weekend: Grocery shopping again. I’m so fun! I want to spend time working on my tarot biz. This is quarter 4. I need to get busy. I need to put myself out there and start making money. I don’t expect a ton of customers. But I will be strategizing this weekend. I already know I’m going to offer 50% off every reading from maybe mid-October to November. Or maybe I should offer it through December. Oooh, what should I do for Black Friday??! I forgot about that. I have to think about it. Anyway, some of my readings are only $5.00 so 50% off is a bargain. I’m going to do a short Youtube video explaining my services and giving away the coupon for 50% off.

I haven’t mentioned this, but I’m also taking two online courses to make a big move during this time of year since this time is the busiest time for all businesses. One is a group mentorship. We meet LIVE on video once a week. I have to blog about that. LOL. I just had my first meeting on Tuesday. Scary!! And one is a productivity type class. I was doing my homework for that until I got the urge to blog.

Like I said, next weekend I’m focusing on packing. It would be great to make a big dent with that. I don’t have a lot of big things. I have a lot of little things. A lot of it will be going in the trash, but some things I want to keep.

Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend! 🙂

Leave me where I lie


1 day until my dog’s birthday

18 days until my pap smear

19 days until my birthday

49 days until my DC Getaway

I’m so excited about the Getaway! I’m not excited about people finding out where I am and being disappointed that I didn’t invite them. Blah. On my dog’s birthday I have to work, but afterward, I’m planning on taking him to the river park. I have lived here for years and never really explored that area. I asked my dog where he wanted to go and he said, “the river”! 😉 My mom might come with us. I was excited to invite her, and now I’m kind of regretting it. She’s scared of water and bridges, so the river probably isn’t an ideal place for her to go. Ya think?

Unfortunately, I’m not that familiar with that part of the river. The local people said it’s like a beach and good for dogs, so I want to try it. It’s a huge place. People come from out of town to visit that area, and I figure I should get familiar with it since I live here. I just hope there aren’t too many people there. Especially too many people with dogs. My dog will go crazy the whole time, and it won’t be enjoyable.

Update: My mom is definitely coming with us tomorrow. I hope there aren’t too many hills, water, and bridges. Those are the things she is scared of or doesn’t like. I guess I should clarify that she doesn’t like some bodies of water. She doesn’t mind the beach as long as she’s not too close to the water. I LOVE water. Anyhow, if it isn’t a good place for my mom, I will just go back there later this spring/summer without her.

I made a mistake. I requested a tarot reading from someone in my advanced tarot class! I know that doesn’t seem like a big deal to most. But I hate intimacy. I would never go to the same coffee shop or any store every day. Yes, even that is too intimate. Someone in another tarot Facebook group posted that she would do FREE readings for the first 3 respondents. I made it in. I recognized her face from some Facebook group so I should have put those two things together. But I didn’t.

Now I feel awkward because we are going to be in class together ON CAMERA. So I can’t ask about my job during the class because I already asked about my job to her. That would be uncomfortable. Now I have to come up with more questions. I do have a question about where I will be living in a year. But I don’t have any other questions I want to know the answer to. It’s funny because she recognized me when I responded and I never post in either group. ARGH.

Am I the only one still eating romaine lettuce? Well, I was until it ruined. I bought a big bag of romaine lettuce for my homemade chicken salads I eat during lunch. I probably won’t buy any more (if any store is still selling it). I might do without salads for a few weeks, or I might eat a different kind of lettuce. After I heard yesterday that people were suffering kidney damage from consuming romaine lettuce, I don’t think I want to touch it.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Ariana Grande, Janelle Monae, First Aid Kit, Brandi Carlile, MaMuse, The Wailin’ Jennys, Lissie, Taylor Swift

Janelle Monae’s album is easily the best release of 2018 so far. Brandi Carlile’s album is a very close second.

TV of the week: NBA playoffs,  How to Get Away With Murder

Movie of the week: none

Podcasts of the week:  The Lowe Post, What Should I Read Next?, True Crime Garage, Pop Shop

Books of the week: 

Now reading –

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren


Plans for the Weekend: It’s my dog’s birthday. He turns 4! I didn’t buy him anything (bad mom), so that’s why I’m taking him to the river. First I have to work overtime, and then we are heading out. On Sunday, I’m going grocery shopping. I wanted to take him out to eat on Sunday. Well, he wouldn’t be eating. But I found a restaurant that allows dogs on the patio, and I want to go there. I just don’t trust my dog will behave. I think he would be jumping up trying to steal my food the whole time. Plus, he would probably bark if another dog is out there on the patio.

Thanks for reading! Have a delightful weekend. 🙂

I wanna suffer for my sins

I have a feeling someone I know is reading this blog.  Someone said something. (vague enough?) I stopped checking all stats during late December 2017, so I have no idea what’s going on. Now I’m paranoid, but I won’t check my stats. Besides, it won’t tell me exactly who is reading. The stats aren’t that detailed. I hope no one I know is reading, especially someone from work!

I’m going to cycling class on Sunday. I hope I’m not the worst in the class again. 🙂 Then right after that, I have a session at the sauna scheduled. The buildings share the same parking lot. So perfect. This may be my last sauna session until next winter. I’ll see.

Gabby Bernstein and I had another nice chat. Okay, not really. It wasn’t like it was in LA. But there were only 20 people in the chat. I’m in a closed Facebook group she recently started, and she had a private chat scheduled with any of the 377 people in the group. Only 20 people made it live.

I asked my question in advance, and she answered it first! And she took her time. The answer was so helpful. I get it now. I asked her what judgment had to do with debt because Gabby previously said everything comes to judgment (paraphrasing). She answered my question by going into what A Course in Miracles says. Also, she said don’t focus on the debt because that’s living in lack, focus on earning and having fun. I’m simplifying her answer. It took her about 3-5 minutes to answer the question. I have to watch the video replay. I was so excited she was answering my question. I probably missed something.

I’m the queen of living in lack. I have to catch myself constantly. I was surprised she picked my question and how in-depth she went. She even said she wished she could talk to me and ask questions. I don’t use my real name on Facebook, so she had no idea that I’m the person from LA with no friends. I want to keep it that way until I see in person at her at a Kripalu retreat. Like I’ve said, I feel like I let her down and I don’t want her to know that I still don’t have any friends.

Work update: Unfortunately, the people who have been in training are being really honest about how hard the training is. I was really looking forward to it, but regular work is hard and stressful enough. I don’t need the training to be hard too. Pout. At least I know what to expect.

Since I can’t take my birthday week off in May, I have the last week of July off. I’m definitely not planning on going anywhere. Everything is expensive and crowded during that time of summer. So I’m staying home. I’m still going to try to get my birthday off. But if the training is really challenging, I’m not going to miss a whole day of information just because I don’t want to work. I should find how hard it is soon. Training starts next week.

Update: It looks like I can get my birthday off! My manager just told me I should be comfortable with the new system by then so taking a whole day off won’t hurt too much. Yay!

My “Escape From DC” isn’t until June, but I’m already stressed. It’s not just about the no cell service part. It’s my dog! When I was booking the trip, I decided to read the rules, and they have a rule about barking dogs. Um. My dog barks when he hears something. He is a watchdog (not really, but you know what I mean). As long as there isn’t noise, I’ll be fine. They give one warning for a barking dog, and then they ask the person to leave!!

He barks when he hears a vehicle pass by the house. God forbid people are talking outside. I am going to take my noise machine with me and turn it all the way up. That might solve any issue. There are about 20 tiny houses on 80 acres of property. How well are they spaced out? I have no idea.

I leave my noise machine on 24/7 at home, and he rarely barks. But I also don’t have close neighbors. I know it is pointless to worry about this. It’s also stressful because of the secret thing. I still don’t know what I’m telling my mom. We are supposed to go to the grocery store that weekend, so I really have to come up with something.

It would be nice if I felt like I could tell the truth, but I don’t think she would ever forgive me. 😦 I’m not lying. I’m just going to ask if we can go to the grocery store the next week and not give a reason why. Sigh. Between my dog and my mom, I don’t know if this was a good idea.

I feel like this entry is all over the place. Sorry. My mind is not functioning correctly. I’m posting this during lunch while I’m having a dance party. lol