Hold It Against Me

Pop culture time! This entry may not make sense to someone who hasn’t seen the latest episode of Bethenny Ever After (the birthday party episode). I’m not good at explaining the details. I saw the last 40 minutes of the episode and wow, what a real life situation. I love a reality show that is worth commenting on.

I’ll start off by saying that Jason (the husband) is extremely outgoing. Bethenny is an introvert. I see so much of myself in her. The biggest difference is that she is herself without apology…most of the time. Just watching this show for the past two years, made me realize what a nightmare it would be to in a relationship with an extremely outgoing person. Beth and Jason are the perfect TV example. Perfect. I love it!

I’m not saying Jason is bad. He is just an extrovert. Introverts always get the bad rap. We are boring, geeks, sullen, etc. This episode was a great example of how extroverts (the majority) sees us. And they get it wrong!! Tell them that, right? Now that that is out of the way…

The episode: Bethenny decided to have a 40th birthday party. But she hates her birthday. She always gets sad around her birthday. She hates surprises and hates being the center of attention (not in all situations, obviously). Her husband knows this. He doesn’t seem to fully grasp it. More on that later.

Jason surprised her more than once in front of 40+ family and friends. The incident was giving her a gift he knew she would love and making her the center of attention. She had to perform. Introverts don’t like performing. (generalization) I thought she handled it really well. She kept saying, “thank you!”. She had a genuine look on her face and seemed truly grateful.

What shocked me was how “the others” (including her husband!) perceived her reaction. They thought she wasn’t grateful enough. Have these people ever heard of shyness? Or even just being uncomfortable in a public event? Everyone doesn’t show emotion the same way. It drives me nuts! People say that they know people are different but listen to them talk about how the person reacted differently. Uh, people are different!

I watched it and I had to blog about it because it shows how the majority of people see things. It’s like some people can’t see outside of themselves. It’s weird. I thought Beth handled the situation so gracefully. I saw NO issue and I was shocked at other people’s reaction.

Bethenny response to the dreadful birthday party:

I can’t say I’m not happy that the birthday episode is over.

Jason and I cringed when we watched it. I, of course, had a total breakdown, and, yes, I own all of it. It is no secret that I don’t like my birthday, nor do I like attention in that way. That, combined with an overloaded work schedule and sleep deprivation, didn’t help any.

I’m a complicated gal, and I own, but don’t love, every bit of it. Jason has his way of celebrating birthdays and I respect that. When his 40th comes this year, we will go all out. I don’t think he fully understood that I REALLY didn’t want bells and whistles. I could never blame him for that. I rarely blame others for things. I beat myself up pretty good for everything.

I don’t think she should beat herself up at all for not wanting a big birthday! Argh.

On the other hand if someone put me in that position, I would kill them. There wouldn’t be a birthday party next year for sure. I’ve never had a birthday party. I’ve never even had a cake. I would not enjoy it at all. I would be so awkward. I would probably stay for 5 minutes and leave. And then never talk to the nitwit who put me on the spot.

I don’t understand how someone can be married to someone and not know to not surprise them. He knows she has issues about her birthday. I don’t know Jason at all but he doesn’t seem empathetic AT ALL. I just kept wondering, “How could he not know?” I’m sure they will be fine but I could not be married to someone who couldn’t understand something SO SIMPLE.

1. No surprises.
2. Don’t ever put me on the spot in public.
3. I hate my birthday.

Is that really that hard to understand? Oh and no, I don’t really hate my birthday. Last year I went to NYC on my birthday. This year nothing much will happen. Nothing compared to New York. I’m thinking about either going to a bed and breakfast near my house OR going to a cabin at a national park. (IF the national parks are open…) My mom is going to take me out for breakfast at a chain restaurant. <–totally my style. I'm not picky about breakfast food.

So my birthday will be "eh". At least I managed to get the day off. 🙂

book report: Naturally Thin

Naturally Thin: Unleash Your SkinnyGirl and Free Yourself from a Lifetime of Dieting by Bethenny Frankel was an eye-opening experience in many ways. First, I had no idea people obsessed over food like this. I know people are always on diets and that diets don’t work. But the obsession? And I’m an obsessor (not a word). So I get it but I had no clue that people lived this way. It’s not like I eat whatever I want without thinking about it. But I never think , “Have I have a carb today?” Sometimes I eat two servings of protein, carbs, whatever during ONE meal. *gasp!* For people like me, reading Naturally Thin can be overwhelming.

I cannot think about food this way is what I kept repeating while reading the book. I have enough obsessions. I am not adding food to the list. I don’t want to over analyze what I eat. To change my way of eating to Bethenny’s way…food would be all I thought about! I will use a lot of the info but overall this way of eating isn’t for me. Example: I usually only go to restaurants while traveling. I’m going to eat whatever I want on those rare occasions. However, I do understand that this information is helpful for people who eat out a lot.

So for people who aren’t serial dieters or obsessed with food, I warn you that this book may not be for you. However, I did get things out of this book and I would still recommend it to…everyone. Why? Bethenny’s 10 food rules can be applied to other areas of your life. I have successfully used these rules for one week (but fell off the wagon the next week…lol). So if you need a pep talk or I don’t know, a shrink or you just like self-help, this book is useful. Needless to say Naturally Thin is a must read for serial dieters. A+ for that group.

Others things I noticed were the over generalizations. But B admits she isn’t a nutritionist. She’s a natural food chef. For example, she mentions quite a bit how sweets make you feel. She must be a fast oxidizer because sweets have the opposite effect on me. (I’m a slow oxidizer when it comes to sweets but I can skip meals & snacks like her so there is an overlap). This is about metabolism. I’m not an expert. This info can be found in natural healing books or Google.

I learned a lot of useful things from the book and I am eating more veggies and checking out more natural food. I’m thinking of doing a 2 day cleansing the week of my 30th birthday (after NYC trip) . I’ve never done it before. I have to admit, I know next to nothing about food. I can barely tell a carb from protein. And I do not cook. The notes I wrote in my journal from Naturally Thin are kind of embarrassing to admit because this is probably common sense to most but I will share anyway:

  • Eat fruit with nuts
  • Yogurt has protein
  • Fruit is better on an empty stomach. (really needed to know this!)
  • Fruit is cleansing.
  • Put berries on food, forget the sugar.
  • Brown rice is good for fiber, energizes you.
  • Watermelon: good for thirst and fiber
  • Use raw sugar.
  • Choose oat flour over white.

I should have just highlighted the info in the book because this book is definitely a keeper. (I swap books on paperbackswap.com and no writing/highlighting is allowed). There is much more useful info in the book but I didn’t always have my journal with me. There are recipes in the book. I’m planning on getting her recipe book soon (The Skinnygirl Dish: Easy Recipes for Your Naturally Thin Life). I think she will motivate me to semi-cook. I really want to bake her vegan cookies. I don’t even have a cookie sheet. I haven’t used an oven in 3 years!! But all this will change gradually.

Overall, a very helpful book. I want to personally thank her for writing Naturally Thin. I would just say what she has heard 1 million times. “Your rules changed the way I approach my life”. (not food wise but it doesn’t matter).

Thanks B! You are truly my inspiration. Not just for the book by how you got where you are. 🙂

RHoNYC – too real

When reality tv becomes too real. Of course I’m sitting here crying. But I was also crying on the way home from work so what else is new? I can’t do a long blog because I’m going to work really early tomorrow to deal with change. The dreaded C word. (not termination – my manager is off tomorrow so no worries <–sarcasm)

I love analyzing groups of people. (Hint: People don’t like that). And I kinda do that through shows that seem the most real. (Not shows like “The Hills” while enjoyable at times, it wasn’t much reality there). RHoNYC is sorta like the Real World. They throw people together and make them hang out. I feel like some of the spinoffs are realer than others. But that’s not the point.

I don’t know if I can watch this episode again. Bethenny and her father. I have so many ‘relationships’ like that. But did B say that her father wouldn’t even see her??? Oh my god. I think most of these people would see me. I don’t know how she dealt with that. Going all the way to LA and then turning back to deal with Jill. I would have had a nervous breakdown. Seriously.

I so glad B is happy now. She has what she has always wanted…a career, family & peace of mind. I don’t feel bad for her. I empathize with her on so many levels. I also know what it is like to lose a best friend. (Don’t we all?) I equate it to a breakup.  I  admire B for being so strong. Jill and Ramona were so mean to her at the worst time.

Ugh, this show hurts because watching this show isn’t going to make me change any ‘relationships’. People are going to die without me saying goodbye.  😦

PS

Bethenny is a good person for not throwing Ramona over the Brooklyn Bridge.

NYC reunion linkage

I’m going out of town tomorrow morning so no time for a recap. Besides I thought part I of the reunion was much ado about nothing. Maybe part II will be better. I’ll have to wait for the repeat next week. No I don’t have a DVR or whatever is needed to record crap these days. 🙂 Since Bravo taped 7 hours of reunion chatter, I would love to know if the best parts are being shown on TV. The talking over each other isn’t that interesting to me. Nothing gets said. Everyone interrupts what point is trying to be made. Blah.

Linkage

Here are all the housewives’ reunion blogs and previews of part II of the reunion.. I’ve only glossed over Bethenny blog. It’s funny and scathing toward Kelly and Ramona. Do people really expect Kelly to say “general studies at Columbia”? 1.)Most people don’t know general studies of Columbia even exists. So they would likely give her a WTF expression. 2.) I would get tired of saying it. At first I would say. “I went to Columbia. Uh, not the real one but the general studies part.” ???!! Just say “Columbia”. The only people who care are Columbia snobs and the media/bloggers (::clears throat::) trying to hit Kelly with anything. She transferred from another university to Columbia (of general something) so she could model. BFD. Sorry, I’ve been meaning to get that out. I shall carry on…

Bethenny Frankel: Real Housewives Reunion Like “Vietnam”

“Everything came out,” Frankel tells Us, “and it was off the rails. Really, absolutely crazy.” These days, Frankel tells Us that she has a sense of humor about her past bickering sessions with Bensimon.

“We’re going to do a Pay-Per-View event at Madison Square Garden, a mud wrestling event,” she jokes. “Then we can at least profit off of this. It can’t get any crazier, though.”

Bensimon also seems to be over the feud. “Honestly, I don’t hate her,” she tells Us. “I actually really respect her. It’s not easy trying to start a business and be single in New York.”

“We can be cordial,” adds Bensimon. “I’m not going to go out of my way to, like, be a bitch.”

‘Real Housewife’ Bethenny Frankel Would Love to Try ‘Dancing With the Stars’

So then you’d say that over the past two years you’ve been portrayed fairly? “Oh 100 percent … I’m totally aggressive, I’m manic, I’m you know very hard-working. I’m tough. Everything that I am on the show is everything that I am and everything that everyone is on the show is everything that they are and if they don’t admit it then they’re not being truthful.”

I hope she gets on DWTS. I hate the show (I tried to ‘get it’…) but I would watch just to see her. I am such a Stan.

kelly BensimonReal Housewives‘ Kelly Bensimon Wants People to See ‘the Real Kelly’

“It was a really, really fun process,” she told PEOPLE during a recent phone interview. “For next season, I want people to see the real Kelly.” So far, “another season of New York is not locked for anybody yet,” she explains, but “I would love to be a part of the brand.”

Bensimon says joining the already-established cast in the show’s second season was like diving into a “shark tank,” and blames her nerves for causing her to act like someone she’s not. “I was so guarded, I came across as not being me,” she said. “Everyone I know was like, ‘That’s not you! That’s the not the fun Kelly who’s always on Kelly time!’ I didn’t know these women. I was treading in murky waters and I didn’t know how to navigate.”

At this point can she not be guarded? I still wonder if she has the uh, ‘let everything hang out’ personality to be on the show. I do want her to appear next season but not as timid Kelly.

bfrankelA Night Out With Bethenny Frankel

In a baby T and skin-tight Paige jeans, Ms. Frankel, the only single woman on the Bravo reality series “Real Housewives of New York,” was at Tortilla Flats in the West Village for the weekly Hula-Hoop competition with her date, Jason Hoppy.

“My friends call him ‘Tenjune’ — that’s his name,” Ms. Frankel said, referring to the nightclub in the meatpacking district where the couple met. Mr. Hoppy, who says he works in real estate, saw Ms. Frankel getting attention from photographers, he said, and walked up and said something unprintable. She liked that.

Ms. Frankel’s first big brush with fame was in 2005 on “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart,” where she finished second, losing to a contestant who seemed sunnier and less brash. “There was a lot of drama and scandal surrounding the finale,” Ms. Frankel said “But had I won and taken a job for Martha, I probably would never have soared on my own.”

allyjillJill Zarin Is ‘the Jewish Momma Version’ of Atticus Finch, Says Daughter Ally

Do you have a lot of fans, other than us? And if so, are they crazy?
I do have lots of fans. I am on Twitter — twitter.com/AllyZarin — and i get a lot of feedback there. I have had one “crazy” fan on Facebook, but besides that all the feedback and the fans have been supportive. I have a blog*, ItsAllyZarinS.wordpress.com, so they comment there. I have a lot of support from the arthritis community and young girls and their parents. I am starting to sell my photography, so they go there to purchase it. One of my dreams is to own a gallery with my photographs in it!

Who is your favorite Housewife, other than your mom?
The housewives are all amazing. But I have spent the most time with Bethenny, and we bond all the time. My mom and her are best friends and we have been on a few vacations together. She is so unique, fun, has a huge heart, and is definitely an overachiever.

*as her mother often says, “Be nice” if you tweet her or visit her blog.

Real housewives of NYC finale

I’m half watching the repeat now…I haven’t read any of the blogs yet.

nyc

Wow, Alex sure did get attacked at the meeting. I know everyone was tense because the charity was 5 days away and Ramona was in the room but geez. Say what you will, but if I had to go to a meeting by any of these women, I would rather it be led by LuAnn. When it comes to most things she is respectful. She won’t call you out in a group. Sure, she’ll talk behind your back but I prefer that over what Alex went through.

I’ve always wanted to know the behind the scenes of how a step and repeat works. Thanks Bravo for showing it! I bet this happens for every event. Charity or not.

Ally is so beautiful.

The Bethenny vs Jill drama: I can understand both sides. Bethenny didn’t know exactly what happened (probably until watching the show) and vice versa. I would have reacted like B. I’m very emotional and I would have lit into Jill or anyone who would listen at the charity event. Here is your bff “on the show” Jill talking to RAMONA of all people about you behind your back. Not cool. But what Bethenny didn’t know was that Jill would have talked to Cristina if Chris wasn’t running around getting things in order. Ramona was there.

Bethenny showed restraint and acted like a grown up by letting it go for the moment. The alcohol was free. She didn’t know how big the signage was going to be. And how unprofessional was it for them (Ramona and Jill) to take some of it down? Ack. I’m assuming it wasn’t a big deal to the company because it was for charity but imagine if it was a for a regular event. Someone would owe someone a lot of money. Also, I was surprised Bethenny used Alex’s graphic for the event. Judging by what Alex has been saying in her blogs, I thought B never used that image. Hmmm.

Then there’s Jill side: “How could Bethenny not tell me about this branding opportunity?” Beth has said that Jill has helped her with career stuff a lot. So I’m guessing this is why Jill was so hurt. She couldn’t believe Bethenny of all people would do that to her. And she wondered why Bethenny didn’t say a thing at the meeting. I think it was because Bethenny a.) didn’t know and b.) she didn’t equate any signage to the step and repeat drama. I’m not taking up for Bethenny but I really see this as a simple misunderstanding. If Bethenny knew what was going on, I 100% believe she would have mentioned something to Jill in passing before or right after the meeting. It just goes against everything we’ve seen of her. Yes, I know there is editing.

Jill was beyond stressed and who wouldn’t be? This was her event. I’m 100% with Jill on telling Bethenny “this is not the right time”. She was already on edge. She was nervous about giving her speech etc. Her name was on the line and she wanted to raise money for Creaky Joints. OTOH, Ramona telling Bethenny “this isn’t the time”. When is the right time when you are pissed? You’re supposed to wait until you simmer down? (ideally) What fun is that?! She needed to get it out! Someone would have heard me out before I STFU.

I’m glad the charity event went well. I was so worried about the auction in the beginning. Luckily that worked out. I can’t believe how much chatter goes on at these events. It would drive me up the wall. (Only Bethenny can talk). I would want to do what LuAnn did at the cancer event early in the season.

Simon must love red. He can rock those red leather pants so rock it Simon. The Simon and Ramona dancing scenes were classic. Everyone dance with your enemies and make the world a better place!

Very sad that the show is over. 😦 I hope everyone will return or at least no new housewives. I love this group. However we have 2 hours of a finale to look forward to I think??? So I will be back with my blather.

real finale drama

real finale drama

Linkage
Jill blogs about the charity event
LuAnn blogs about tacky vs classy when it comes to charity
Bethenny blogs about the drama
Ramona blogs about everything
Kelly blogs about whatever she wants

Jill talks to OK Mag

When the show is over then for instance, on the blogs Mario has been hitting me and I feel like he has been attacking me outside the ring. When you say am I upset, I mean of course I was upset when I watch the episode over when Mario said what are you gonna do take your toys out, and I’m like yes I’m going to take my toys out, but I don’t have anything against him. It’s like all is fair in love and war and we had a fight and we’ve sort of gotten past it and it was six months ago, and who cares and life is good.

kid on your head

Bethenny is 37, has a wonderful career, and she’s alone. I’m 29 (soon), what career?, and alone. We’re twins! More on that later. Besides all the Bethenny scenes, the following was the best scene ever:

Simon: Jill, have you seen Johan?
Jill: He’s on your head.
Simon: No this is Francois.
Jill: (quietly) oh.

ROFL. I might have gotten the names mixed up. After that moment, I knew this was going to be another good show. I sort of felt bad for Silex because I know they must have been embarrassed. I don’t have kids so I feel for parents with um, hyper kids. I adored the red room in Silex’s house. I love color and I’ve never seen a red room look perfect. They must put pics on their website so I can download and print them to place in my dream house book. I also drooled over the doors but I can’t remember if that was shown finished. Ugh, I love their townhouse.

Frenemies?

Frenemies?

I’m over the Bethenny and Kelly drama. I hope it isn’t a big topic at the reunion (which was taped about 2 weeks ago). I’m not saying this with malice because I have the same communication problems (but on a different scale) as Kelly. So when I talk about her conversation style, I’m not bashing her. I’m not saying that she isn’t intelligent. However, she seems to have big problems with delivery. She also takes things people say literally (which is a trait of Asperger’s* and doesn’t have anything to do with intellect).

I admire Bethenny for wanting to clear the air. Clearly Kelly has no interest in going to B’s level aka “indulging her”. She did come across as rude. Can she just listen? How many times did she cut Bethenny off? I’m done with trying to figure Kelly out. She has communication issues and she will kill anyone who embarrasses her in front of people. The end. Oh, one more thing Kelly might have been joking about letting her hair down. LuAnn seems to think she took it literally but my first thought was, “Kelly doesn’t want to talk about anything ‘private’. She is trying to deflect any personal talk because she is somewhat shy.” She said in the beginning that she was reluctant to reveal stuff about her personal life (especially her kids). I remember being confused about her wanting to be on the show.

*I’m not saying Kelly has Asperger’s. I’m not a doctor but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have it. I can’t imagine anyone in her industry having it.

Obviously Bethenny has worked on her issues. She seems at peace with the children thing. Props to her for not being against marrying her gay friend (sorry his name escapes me) and having a child. I don’t get why they would need to be married but that is a personal choice. According to Bethenny the person she is currently dating is not on this season. I saw his picture. I would have saved it if I’d known I was going to go blogcrazy about this show. NO, it isn’t A-Rod! At least 6 weeks ago it wasn’t him. Ha. Have they even met yet?

Holy parenthesis. 500 words. What did I miss? Forget it. I’m done. I LOVE BETHENNY.

Linkage
Video preview of the finale finale?! WHAT FINALE?
Jill thoughts about the Kelly/Bethenny ‘conversation’
Kelly reacts to Bethenny
Bethenny thinks Kelly is insane
Mario blogs about B’s date as if someone cares
Simon blogs about the renovation
Alex blogs about the renovation