hope’s outpost

Project life post coming soon. I picked up my pics today. I hate when some don’t come out well. 😦 I always print just enough pics for a layout. In the meantime…

beachPic from my April trip to the beach.

The computer repair people have had my computer for a week. No phone call updates. They are going to be in a for shock tomorrow when I just show up during my lunch break. Fireworks!

Tomorrow I’m going to make myself go to a Y I’ve never been to. I really want to lose 5-7 lbs. Today was a major fail. I had a cheap red velvet cupcake. :/

Gamble all i got, no plan B

I don’t know where to begin. I’ll start here: I broke my laptop. I was already having the cooling fan problems. Then I dropped it on the ground. I’m probably taking it to the shop tomorrow.

I can’t do a long entry on this thing so..

  • I’m currently at the beach. Loving the beach & the weather. Rockin’ the maxi dress. 🙂
  • I don’t have the house! I thought I did. How naive. Just because I paid my deposit doesn’t mean I have it for sure. I get to see the house Saturday morning. I hope I get to know something definite on Saturday. I’m ready to sign.
  • this thing is so hard to do an entry on. Argh!
  • wow I got my first child free attack. I have to blog about this later. Apparently I don’t have a life cause I don’t have kids. Lol. she should see what I have to deal with. She already knows that at minimum I have social anxiety so that makes her comments foolish.

i can’t type on this thing anymore. I hope I get the house…if I don’t already have it. And I hope I can get my laptop fixed.

pink champagne

Good news! I got my pics. Project Life entry coming up next.

::erased::

————

Oh well. The beach trip was fun. The best part was the pool!!!!! I was so in love with the hotel’s pool. I wanna go back. It was heated to 87 degrees…unlike the Y. They lie about their water temperature.  I wish there was a pool where I live. I would be there as soon as it opened. I love being in the water. LOVE IT…but I still don’t have a strong desire to learn how to swim. I’ll stick to “water aerobics”.

great pool

great pool

That was the first time I was ever in a pool by myself. 🙂 🙂 So peaceful. I mostly jogged back and forth in 4 1/2 feet of water. I can’t run well without the water. It is a long story. It has to do with my feet issues and probably my scoliosis. To be able to get a run in everyday would be great but I need to find a Y where that would be possible. I guess I could get up at 5AM ….I would just feel so awkward because there’s a lifeguard there. I would have to get over that first.

I did make one friend at the beach:

Random beach pic:

beach

letting my past go past

beach

When I said I was making a mix CD for a road trip, I had no idea it would occur so soon! Unbelievable. I’m here at the beach and not even concerned about the beach. That’s because it is about 50 degrees. That’s cold to me.  Uh, no I’m not off work! This is very much a working “vacation”. I am working more here than I could would at home. I’m trying to catch up.

(That picture was taken from the balcony.)

It was silly to come to the beach. I realize that now. But when I booked the hotel I was thinking, “Why pay that much for a local hotel when I can go to my second favorite hotel at the beach for a lower price”? This is semi-off season. Still it was very impulsive and dumb! Go ahead and laugh. I give you permission. 🙂

Yes I ran away. I felt like jumping out of my skin. I couldn’t take another second of him being there all day while I attempted to concentrate. All I could think of was getting out of my skin. So I went to the library for 2 hours. I got a lot of work done but I also booked the hotel. I thought about suicide again. How much should a person fight? When do you give up?

I asked for clarity on this trip even though I knew my main goal was going to be work. Then I listened to the song that give me brief clarity on my past birthday. “Living in the Moment” by Jason Mraz. Cue the cheesy music. Laugh at me again. 😉 I randomly put that song on my mix CD Saturday night because it came up on shuffle. As I was driving to the beach, Living In the Moment came on. I listened to it on repeat a few times. I swear I hope this song helps me again.

I’m going to print the lyrics out and put it in my office (the dining room) and hope for the best. At this point I don’t know what else to do. Jason Mraz summed up every self help book and psychobabble in one song. Buddha bless him. It is definitely easier said than done.

Living in the Moment by Jason Mraz

If this life is one act
Why do we lay all these traps
We put them right in our path
When we just wanna be free
I will not waste my days
Making up all kinds of ways
To worry about some things
That will not happen to me
So I just let go of what I know I don’t know
And I know I’ll only do this by
Living in the moment
Living our life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
With peace in my heart
Peace in my soul
Wherever I’m going, I’m already home
Living in the moment
I’m letting myself off the hook for things I’ve done
I let my past go past
And now I’m having more fun
I’m letting go of the thoughts
That do not make me strong
And I believe this way can be the same for everyoneA
nd if I fall asleep
I know you’ll be the one who’ll always remind me
To live in the moment
To live my life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
I got peace in my heart
Got peace in my soul
Wherever I’m going, I’m already home
I can’t walk through life facing backwards
I have tried
I tried more than once to just make sure
And I was denied the future I’d been searching for
But I spun around and searched no more
By living in the moment
Living my life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
I got peace in my heart
Got peace in my soul
Wherever I’m going, I’m already home

I’m at the beach until 11AM on Friday. Tomorrow (Thursday) I hope I get a chance to get in the pool if I can get there first. Then I’m working like a madman. For lunch I’m walking 10 blocks to my favorite breakfast place on the beach. Then back to work. If I’m not too tired, that is when I will walk on the beach and then more work! I will be caffeinated. I don’t have time to be sleepy tomorrow. Lots to do.

More pics from the beach later. Oh yeah, I guess no beach for my birthday! ha. I will probably go to my mom’s instead. I would go camping but I don’t know how to make a tent. Plus I don’t have a tent.

None the wiser

Today is the first day of summer school and I haven’t checked the syllabus yet. I hope it isn’t scary. Scary can be just a mid-term & final to determine the grade. Or grading heavily based on participation. Or group work (oh god). Or essay tests only. Or too many true & false questions. Why am I scaring myself?

I just wanted to blog to say: I WON! I won THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS by Danielle LaPorte! Click the link to read about the book. I can’t wait to get it. I rarely enter giveaways because I never know about them in time but I saw a link on Twitter and decided to enter. I thought I had no chance. YAY! 🙂 Thank you.

I did it again. But this is the last time I swear (unless it goes well). I signed up for 10 yoga classes. It was only $50. That is a bargain. The only yoga class I really hated and didn’t follow through on was the class where the instructor made people stand in a rectangle. Chances of that happening again is slim. So I’m looking forward to it. I wonder how many people will be there. It is a little different because it is at my workplace. I’m not really worried about knowing someone there because we have a huge workplace and while I may recognize a face but I doubt I actually know someone.

Yes knowing someone = bad. LOL.
————
My beach vacation was awesome. 4 nights at the beach. What wasn’t great was that I was sick for 3 days after I got back. But I’m feeling better now. I had a lot of time to think. It was just me, the beach, and Jason Mraz (his music, not him).

I let one thing I was clutching onto go. If I wasn’t at the beach, I probably would have cried or been depressed about it but I was at peace. I made the decision while staring at the ocean one night. I must have stood in the same spot for about 20 minutes. The cold water on my feet. And I just thought. The ocean gives me clarity.

It was so fun mixing my own drinks! Too bad the drinks are filled with calories. I think I have a new hobby. 🙂 A hobby I will only practice once a week at the most. I don’t have any rum left…only vodka so I can’t make much now without going to the liquor store. hehehe. Me. Going into a liquor store?? LOL. I never would have thought. You have to try the Bikini Martini. It is so good.

I also wrote and read a lot. I’m going to post some of my favorite quotes and a review of one book soon.

Oh, I had the chance to see “Girls“. I can see why people hate the show but I think if I had seen the season opener, I probably would have liked it more. One question: Do people really have this much sex? I guess people asked the same thing about Sex & the City. Anyhow, it wasn’t great but it was watchable. I need to see the premiere before I judge. What intrigued me is that the “girls” weren’t movie star attractive. (No offense). But the writing has to be there too, obviously. I haven’t read anything on it recently but I’m guessing this series won’t last long. I watched Veep too but while I got it (I think), I didn’t really like it. I’ve seen stuff like that before. I’m over it. There is better stuff on network TV (30 Rock, Parks & Rec).

M & M – my dwarf african frogs are doing great. I really think they should have a bigger home but a.) I don’t have room and b.) I’m scared to move them from one home to another. “A” isn’t a big deal. I can give them more space but they won’t be in the same room I’m in. “B” is a huge deal. I can’t find any info on how to move the frogs. I know how to clean fish tanks and move fish. But frogs hop! So um, I’m scared.

African Dwarf frogs are shy. 😉 They need and want places to hide. All they have is one plant. It isn’t a good hiding spot. I want to give them that…after all I get it but they need a bigger home. If they are so shy, why do people recommend they get two? Sometimes M & M get into fights. I can’t help but think they are frustrated by being in such a small place. One of them seems less shy than the other. I’m guessing that the female is the less shy one. She seems to seek out the other frog.

Sharing a small place with no place to hide does not sound fun. I’ve been there. I’ve got to come up with something.

This was supposed to be a short entry. Oh well.

easy and breezy

I’m letting myself off the hook for things I’ve done. I let my past go past. And now I’m having more fun.

I had an epiphany while staring at the beach Wednesday night. I was all alone. And I got it. Sometimes it sucks saying bye but it is the right thing to do. But this entry isn’t about that. This post is about pics and videos of my beach vacation.

Thursday morning beach vid:

so good!


This is the first Bikini Martini I made. Sweet, fruity and awesome! I had 3 throughout the week.


Hotel #1. I had a better experience at this hotel this year than last year. Everything was pretty good (besides the nonworking TV remote haha). Oh, and I was on the very top floor. Floor 8. Score! 😉

Hotel #2 – 3 nights


My only complaint was the lukewarm water in the shower. Not a problem last year so…

beach/sand

fishy!

my new African Dwarf Frogs!


They are known as M & M. Buying african dwarf frogs from the beach store probably wasn’t the smartest idea. But hey, they are doing great. M & M are very active. I have a lot to learn about them. I brought them some food from the pet store and they gobbled it up. I hope I didn’t overfeed. Like I said: lots to learn about my new buddies. 🙂

Another video. Play spot the bird!

from the balcony

I may post more pics but I think that is all.

Adios.

With peace in my mind. I got peace in my heart. Got peace in my soul. Wherever I’m going, I’m already home. I’m living in the moment