Be still my heart

My dad left for overseas on Sunday, but he says he’ll be back. So I guess this is just a visit. Does he live in the US now and just visiting overseas? I have no idea.

I watched most of “One Love Manchester” and could not stop crying. I know my eyes were red when I took my dad to the train station. I had no idea I would have this reaction to the benefit concert. When I saw Ariana, I lost it. Her song “One Last Time” (one of my faves) has a brand new, sad meaning now. 😦

This has nothing to do with the terrorist attack in Manchester. I just want to list my 5 favorite Ariana songs (in no particular order cause that would be impossible) –

  • Piano
  • Honeymoon Avenue
  • Breakfree
  • One Last Time
  • Sometimes

I also love Baby I and Bad Decisions. 🙂 haha. Anyway, Ariana and her team put on a GREAT benefit concert.

I saw Moonlight, and I loved it! If there were more movies like Moonlight, I would watch more movies. I might do a “review” of it in my next entry, but since this won Best Pic at the Oscars, I’m sure there is so much written about this great movie, and now I want to read all of it, but I’m supposed to be studying so…I’ll wait until after I take my test to see why others liked it. I enjoyed it because it was so REAL. I could relate to the main character in so many ways. And then the love story….OMG. Loved it! I didn’t want it to be over. 😦

This entry was supposed to be about how I suck at spirituality. I know everyone feels this way from time to time. Most of the time people terrify me. It is hard being spiritual when I’m scared of people. I should elaborate more in a full entry. But I’m trying, and dammit, despite what some people say, that counts for something. (At least in does in A Course in Miracles).

I got my Venture One card in the mail today! I’m in the process of switching my recurring bills to that card so I can get the extra 20,000 miles. I need those. Kripalu, here I come!

I have to get back to studying. I went to the library on Saturday and studied in a study room for 50 minutes. If it weren’t so cold in there, I probably would have stayed longer. Anyway, my test is in less than two weeks, so I need to focus. I’m going to get some reading done tonight. Bye!

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I’ve been doing stupid things

I’m still mystified by so-called enlightened people calling people crazy for making different life choices. I guess I have to do an entry on it.

I would say I’m glad I checked my spam folder, but now I’m not so sure. The temp agency I went to a long time ago, emailed me about a decent position. It is definitely a step up from what I’m doing now. But I don’t want to leave my job (at this moment) for an unsure temporary job. It could lead to being permanent and include a better title and probably more money. I just don’t want a temp job. Not right now.

It’s probably not a good decision. But whatever.

Isn’t it funny how liars always think others are lying? I’m the opposite. I always expect people to be truthful because I am. I’m sick of dealing with other people’s crap. Sometimes I wish it was just my dog and me, but even he gets on my nerves sometimes.

I picked up my new camera from my mom’s yesterday. I’m not pleased with it. It looks like a professional camera. WTF! It’s huge! It looks like a DSLR. I thought the lens might go back in. Why would they make it like that? I hope I can get into the Ellie Goulding concert with this camera (and future concerts). I should send it back for something else, but I never send anything back. blah. Here are some of the first pics I took with it (without really knowing how to use the camera).

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My Hello Kitty mini lunch box
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My dog. He hates having his pic taken
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my coloring book

I hope to get better once I actually know how to use the camera. These pictures are horrid! Btw, I know I can’t color. Someone else already pointed it out. (I KID YOU NOT! – PEOPLE SUCK. This is the same person who considers herself a nice person. Yeah, a nice bitch). I color for relaxation. Recently I couldn’t sleep, and I got up before work and colored to get my mind off the fact that I should be sleeping. Anyhow, hopefully, I can learn to use this camera before June 10th: the Ellie Goulding concert.


Hillary Clinton is in big trouble (not because of the latest email stuff). Things can change before November, but I’m going back to my first statement: Trump will be president. Oh, g-d. I don’t think Bernie would be a better choice either. I know what the polls say, but the Republicans haven’t even started on him. “Socialist, socialist, socialist.” That is all they have to say. That will scare half of the country. Plus he is too liberal. Unfortunately.


This week I…

Music of the week: Ariana Grande, Vanessa Carlton, Beyonce, Corinne Bailey Rae, Little Mix, Ellie Goulding, Jewel, Kanye West

Ariana’s latest is a B-. She finally found her sound (sort of). My favorites are Bad Decisions, Sometimes, I Don’t Care, and Everyday. That means none of those will be released as singles. haha. None of the songs on the album are #1 single material, but that’s okay. I care more about the music than the charts. But of course, I would like her to be successful. Maybe succeeding for her is putting out an album she can be proud of and not a #1 single. If that’s the case, then she succeeded.

I used to let some people tell me how to live and what to be/But if I can’t be me, then fuck’s the point?

Sing it, Ari!

TV of the week:  Pretty Little Liars, basketball

I’m going to start the second season Bloodline this weekend. Exciting times.

Books of the week: Still reading  Until I Say Good-Bye: A Book About Living by Susan Spencer-Wendel (on page 187) and  A Cure for Madness by Jodi McIssac (page 68). I also started The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte (page 22). I just checked out Brilliant Madness: Living With Manic-Depressive Illness by Patty Duke.

Plans for the weekend: I wanted to mow the lawn today but my (new) allergies are acting up, and I don’t have any more allergy medication at home. I’m going to the store for groceries on Saturday. Surely my grass can wait until then. Ugh. Or maybe I better suck it up and try mowing it tomorrow after work. This weekend I’m going to mow the lawn, go grocery shopping, get a ton of reading done, relax outside and clean up. Nothing too exciting.

Edited to add: I just watched a vlog about no excuses and I decided to mow my front lawn this evening! I was sneezing every minute, but I still finished. I will mow the back later this weekend (after I get some medicine). Who knew vlogs could be very helpful? 😉

In honor of Memorial Day, I would like to thank all the veterans who serve our country. Have a great weekend! 🙂