Someday I won’t be afraid

Ugh. My landlord and I are doing a walkthrough of the house on December 15th. 😦 I’m scared. WHY???? Fuck.  Unless something happens, my mom will be there too. I’m not going through that crap alone. Oh, he said he would have given me a break on my rent. Whatevs. I needed 3 months rent free to keep living there. Three months every freaking year. Not happening. 

I’m off Monday through Wednesday of next week. I should have taken the whole week off. Too late for that now.  I will make sure the junk (sofas, TVs, and actual junk) is gone by the 15th. I have to take my dog to the vet on Monday and then it would be great if the junk people could come Monday or Tuesday. I’m making the appointment soon.

Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. I just talked to my landlord. I lied to my landlord. Kind of. He always lets his calls from me go to voicemail so I expected that to happen today. NOPE! He picked up the phone. I was shocked. We talked and then he asked, “Is anything wrong with the house?” I almost passed out. I couldn’t talk. I just said, “the water”. And then he went on about the water pressure and blah, blah, blah. 

The point of all this is that now I’m thinking about calling a plumber. The problem is MONEY of course. But there are other issues too. What if they can’t fix it? What if they can’t fix it before December 15th? My walkthrough is December 15th. It has to be before the 15th because I’m returning the keys on that day. 

At this point, I don’t know what to do. Obviously, if I could afford it, I would call a plumber. Well, I did call a plumber, but the fixing of the leak did not fix the water issue. I think I’m going to do it. But I have so much to do over the next 5 days. I’ll go over it in “weekend plans”. So now it looks like I’m paying the junk company and a plumber. 😦

That whole ‘so you can have it all.’ Nope, not at the same time,” Obama said. “That’s a lie. And it’s not always enough to lean in, because that shit doesn’t work all the time.”

I love the part about how leaning in doesn’t work all the time. AMEN! People that act like all people have the same chances, talents, opportunities make me sick. They say that shit to feel better about themselves. They don’t want to see their privilege. Beauty? Privilege. Communication skills? Privilege. Nope, NOT EVERYONE can learn that. Most people can. Money from mom and dad? Privilege. From what I’ve seen most people have no clue about their privileges. The more I interact with people online, the more I see how clueless people are. 

Anyway, about having it all? It depends on what you want. I don’t want kids, to climb a corporate ladder, a husband, or a white picket fence. I want an eight-foot privacy fence, a big bathroom in a smallish house with at least 2 acres of land, to be able to work from anywhere and my dog. That’s doable for a lot of people. So maybe I can have it all. I don’t know. I’m working on it now. 

As far as the whole kids’ thing goes, I know people who had their kids when they were either really young or much older. They got to live their own life prior to having kids or afterward. So kids aren’t necessarily a prison sentence. LOL. I know for some people their kids are their life (is it rude to gag?). I know people that rely on their kids for their happiness. I think it’s sad, but some (most?) of these people seem okay so who am I to judge? 

Some people claim to have it all. I’ve seen people say it online. I think 50% of these people are telling the truth. 😉 It just depends on what people want. Everyone doesn’t want the same thing! If people could comprehend that, that would be great. 

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Alessia Cara, Maggie Rose, Ariana Grande, Carrie Underwood, Halsey, Matt Nathanson, Missy Higgins

TV of the week:  basketball, House of Cards, The Haunting of Hill House

I finished House of Cards. It ended the way it should have. I guess. We all knew it would end that way. I think I’m going to re-watch House of Cards from season 1 soon. 

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week:  Fresh Air, The Mental Illness Happy Hour, True Crime Garage, Pod Save America, So You Wanna Be a Witch?, Where Should We Begin?, Tarot for the Wild Soul

Books of the week: Now reading:

(The computer I’m on is really slow, so I can’t be bothered to fix the links. The only link that works is the first one). 

Plans for the weekend: Groan. How can I complain when I’m off until Thursday? But I have so much to do. *whine* I’m probably calling the junk company and plumber tomorrow. 

I should be doing an astrology/tarot reading right now instead of blogging. I have never done one of these readings before, so I’m nervous. I’m also excited. I just don’t know how long it will take. She gave me her astrology info and her boyfriend’s info, so I have to merge all of it into a cohesive reading. I’m going to try my best to finish this reading tomorrow even though I’m going to be out most of the day.

I also want to work at my day job for at least 3 hours during my vacay. Imagine my horror when I found today that I was behind! Oops.  I hope I can find 3 hours since I have to take my dog to the vet, and I will be spending a lot of time at my old house with no internet so I can’t work. I NEED to find the time to work so I won’t get more behind. I will find the time. It is necessary. I really hope it doesn’t snow.  That could mess up most of my plans, but I would probably get to focus on my day job. Yipee. :/

Well, I gotta go. It’s Friday night and it’s a little late to start something, but I might start the astrology part of her reading. Or I might journal. Or just do a tarot reading for me. ha. I’m so fun!! 

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! 🙂 

The way things could’ve gone

How do people, like, deal with people? I hate whoever came up with giving gifts at Christmas. It could be somewhat enjoyable if it weren’t for the whole greedy ass people who want multiple gifts. And some people don’t even see a problem with this whole charade. UGH?! It’s nauseating. The whole damn thing. 

Okay, had to get all that out. Now I’m better.  Work is going uh, I wish I knew. We now have a computer monitoring everything we do. But the computer isn’t exactly accurate so, I have no idea how I’m doing. I look at the report, and it’s like a language I don’t understand. I think I have a meeting with my manager within 2 weeks, so I’ll know for sure then. I guess if I’m doing horrible, she’ll email me before then. 

I’m working overtime this weekend. I haven’t worked on the old system in a month. I hope things go smoothly. 

I have big goals for 2019. Well, most I’m starting now except the first one listed.  I’m taking a course on using tarot to help with goals and it so SO GOOD. As of right now, my top goals are:

  • Pay off 25% of my credit card debt by January 1, 2020 
  • Learn tarot “by heart” so I can do live, online readings by the end of April
  • finish the astrology course by the end of February 
  • Get 30 people on my email list by the end of April (hopefully more)
  • Decide whether I want to do tarot and/or astrology anymore by June
  • Lose 20 pounds by April
  • Get to goal at my day job by mid- December 2018 

I will probably have more goals, but I like the idea of fewer goals. I have to break down each goal, of course. I already have a plan for the debt. Once I pay off most of my debt, I’m going to start saving for a downpayment on my dream house. That probably won’t happen until 3 years from now. 

Unfortunately, to accomplish these goals, I’m going to have to change things. No shit! The number 1 thing I’m sad about is reading fewer books. I will probably try to read one book a month. That means no more hoarding library books. 😦 I might try listening to audiobooks more. Not sure.

I’m also going to have to exercise more. I don’t have a problem exercising when it’s warm.  I do have access to my mom’s treadmill, but since my dad is living here, I don’t feel comfortable using it. I don’t know when he’s sleeping and blah, blah, blah. I was planning on doing Kundalini yoga twice a month starting in January. I will probably still do it. However, that kind of yoga isn’t much of a calorie burner. It’s great for my spirit, but not for losing weight. Hmmm, I have to come up with something. Just wait for my dad to leave in 6 weeks or so? Maybe.

That’s enough for now. I may do an updated list of goals, but I doubt it. I think that’s final. 

Oh, I almost forgot to mention my landlord got my letter about me moving. He left me a voice message. He said he was sad to see me go. I always paid my rent early and I never complained (lol). What I’m terrified about is the walkthrough. Why do I have to? *whine* The main issue (and maybe only issue) is the water. But that might be huge to him. FUCK. Sorry.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Missy Higgins, Christina Aguilera, Mariah Carey, Halsey, Jason Mraz, Ariana Grande, Florence + the Machine, Lauren Daigle

I probably will only do a top 5 albums of 2018. Not a top 18 or 20 list. So much good music was released this year. Anyway, an album I’m rediscovering is Christina’s album. I didn’t love the first two singles so I kind of slept on the album, but songs have been coming up on randomly when I listen to all my music and this week I finally decided to give the album another chance. It’s so much better than I thought. 

TV of the week:  basketball, House of Cards, Survivor

I canceled Hulu so I don’t get to finish binge-watching Nashville. Bummer. I was on the last season and was really enjoying it. I finished watching Making a Murderer season two. I don’t have a ton of thoughts. I can see why people still believe Avery may be innocent. I do think one of his family member’s had something to do with the murder AND I think Avery knew after the fact. 

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week:  True Crime Garage, Pod Save America, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Sword and Scale, The Lively Show, Why is This Happening? 

Books of the week: Now reading –

Yep, I’m already cutting down my reading list.

Plans for the weekend: Working OT on Saturday. I’m going grocery shopping on Sunday. I’m working on breaking down my goals for the year.  I need to work on a PDF or mini eBook for my email list. I should be doing that now. I want to release it by mid-December. I have 2 pages done. It needs to be 13-14 pages. 

Thanks for reading. Have an excellent weekend! 🙂

Thought I could take it from here

I didn’t eat turkey. I don’t like turkey. I ate alone in my room. Well, my dog was there for 40% of the time. I know what others do on Thanksgiving and I enjoy my way more. I hate holidays. They are the worse. Mainly because I dislike anything that disrupts the norm. Snow, holidays, etc. Hate it all.

Work is kicking my ass. If I don’t meet their unrealistic expectations by the end of December, I could lose my job. I’ve been with this company for 13 or 14 years. They start a new system and suddenly I’m nothing? That’s fair. NOT. Anyway, I’m determined to get better. I am getting better, but it’s still not good enough. As of right now, I’m at about 66% of goal. Yes, I’m supposed to be at 100%. 

Working from home with my mom here is not helping. And my dad will be here on Friday or Saturday. What if he’s loud too? I haven’t lived with him in YEARS, so I have no idea how loud he will be during my work hours. About my mom, she will probably start a new job soon. So that’s good news.

I’m trying to get to 70% by the end of November and then somehow get to 100% by December 31. I have to believe I can, or I would just sit around depressed. 

I’m mailing my letter tomorrow to my landlord about moving out. 😦 I have come to peace with wanting this whole moving thing to be over. However, the landlord might want to do a walk through which sounds like hell. I’d rather not. I have to accept whatever he says. He can’t say I broke the lease. I haven’t had a lease since May 2013. 

But there are water issues with the house. It is no longer working in the kitchen. I called a plumber to fix the leak. That was a lot of money. I can’t keep calling plumbers. I give up. Keep my security deposit. I know I’m not getting that back. I never expected it back. Who thinks about that after living somewhere for 5 years? 

How about some 2020 talk? Okay, not too much. Marianne Williamson versus Stacey Abrams. Well, really it’ll be Marianne versus about 20 other people. I really like Stacey since I’ve done my research, but I have a history with Marianne so it has to be her, right? Marianne versus Beto? I will probably vote for the one I think can win. I love voting for people I like. It is so rare for me to get the opportunity. 

I’m not crazy about Elizabeth Warren or Corey Booker. I don’t want to vote for either of them. I prefer Warren over Booker. Anyway, Marianne wants people to donate to her, and normally I would donate $10, BUT I have given her so much of my money. So much. It’s ridiculous. Nah, not donating to her campaign unless she makes it past Iowa. 

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Mariah Carey, Rachael Sage, Kacey Musgraves, Ariana Grande, Maggie Rogers, The Weeknd, Christina Aguilera, Janelle Monae

TV of the week:  Nashville, basketball

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week:  True Crime Garage, Pod Save America, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Mental Illness Happy Hour, Generation Why

Books of the week: Now reading –

Plans for the weekend: Ugh, tomorrow will be busy. Blah, blah, blah. We’ll be cleaning my old place since most of my stuff is gone. Then when I’m off in December, I’m calling the junk people to remove my sofas and other “junk”.  I think I have a truckload so the junk removal may cost more than the move. That sucks.

I’m also working on an astrological birth chart for my mom which is kind of impossible because she doesn’t know what time she was born. So it won’t be that accurate. I was born at 3:12 AM and my chart is almost 100% right. So far I have 486 words. I’m doing this in case someone buys one from my website. I need to have a template. I can’t just wing it. Maybe after I do this, someone will buy one from my shop. 

My dad is moving here temporarily for a few months tomorrow or Saturday. Have I mentioned that? My dog is the biggest issue because he doesn’t like anyone other than my mom and me. He now has to be locked in the room with me. He isn’t going to like that. 😦 

Tonight I will probably try to record some YouTube videos. Try is the key word because I can’t get the lighting right in this room. I never have great lighting, but this lighting is really bad despite me having THREE lamps in the room. LOL. 

Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful weekend! 🙂 

I walked off an old me

UPDATE: STOP THE MOTHERFUCKING PRESS! Marianne Willaimson is thinking about running for president! AHH. I met her and have a personalized autograph from her. No big deal. Fuck, yeah. I still like Beto.

First, I’m SO glad Amazon didn’t come here. They are going to be about an hour and a half away. Some people think the people in Northern VA are going to move down here*. I didn’t think of that. Oh well. The major drawback from them moving here is traffic. That is why I don’t visit them as often as I would – traffic!

*The ones without the fancy Amazon jobs.

Anyway, I’m glad Amazon isn’t here because it would drive up rent (and other things) and a lot of people here would HAVE TO move. They would be forced out. I would move to the rural part of the state. That is where I’m planning to live in about four years anyway. But other people don’t want to move, and I don’t think it’s right for a huge company to force them out.  Let Crystal City or National Landing deal with that shit. Some of them are elitist anyhow. LOL.

Um, yay for the people getting the excellent Amazon jobs. Not saying I’m not thinking about looking at their job openings. But my car is over ten years old, so I can’t get there quickly. I would have to move there. No, thank you.

In semi-good news, I lost 6 pounds!! It is an anxiety diet. Not a stress diet. I can eat when I’m just stressed, but not stressed AND nervous. I can’t eat a thing when I’m nervous. That’s pretty common, right? Since I’ve moved, I have not eaten a regular day of meals. I’m so anxious while living here…ugh. I would feel way worse about this if I couldn’t stand to lose 20 pounds. If I were 110 pounds, I would be worried.

And my dad is moving in for about 2-3 months, in less than 10 days. I kid you not. This can’t get any worse. If it gets worse, I’m going to request to go back to working in the office. I have to put my work first. I don’t care that I’m not eating. I care about my work!

My mom is no longer working for now, so she’s home ALL DAY. I work from home, so I’m home all day. She’s loud. Loud noises make me nervous. Hence, why I can’t eat. However, she will be working part-time soon. 20 hours a week. Unfortunately, she probably won’t start until mid-December. I have to get better at work ASAP.

I’m also using my mom’s treadmill every other day. So, not eating due to nervousness and doing a little working out = maybe weight loss? I’ll see

Anyway…I really think Marianne William is running for Prez! I keep checking my email. The announcement was supposed to happen today. Hmmm. I am so going on Instagram and posting a pic of her and me with a caption of saying me with the future president. 🙂

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Pistol Annies, Maggie Rogers, Ariana Grande, Robyn, Chris Stapleton, Britney Spears, Fifth Harmony, Cardi B

TV of the week:  Nashville, Making a Murderer

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week: All in With Chris Hayes, True Crime Garage, Pod Save America, Why is This Happening?, The Lowe Post

Pod Save America is my new favorite podcast.

Books of the week: Now reading –

Plans for the Weekend: Cleaning up the old house. And I plan on driving to the landfill to dump some of my stuff off so I won’t have to pay a ton to the junk removers. I can’t move the sofas to the landfill on my own. I’m also going grocery shopping which will be interesting since I’m not eating. Should I use this opportunity to not buy much food and save money? Since I haven’t eaten much this week, I have some food for next week.

I’m finally getting back to doing tarot readings. I have one to do this weekend, but I didn’t understand her question. Sigh. I hope she responds back because it is a career question and I LOVE doing career readings, but the way she worded it was strange. Sometimes I’m too shy to ask for clarification, but I want to do a good job so I had to question her.

Thanks so much for reading. Have an excellent weekend! 🙂




It’s getting harder

I moved!!! Okay, I haven’t told my landlord yet, and my old place is a mess. A complete mess. 😦 I’m telling the landlord in less than 1 week. I’m paying until December 31, so it is still a 30-day notice. I’m so scared to tell him. I really don’t want to. I would do anything to avoid it…including keep paying rent, but I can’t afford it!

Most of the stuff left (about 85%) is going to the trash. I will probably call a junk company to have it removed. Yes, that will cost money. Bummer. However, I do have good news. My move only cost $260!!! Remember, I got a $478 quote. They moved me in less than 2 hours. YAY! I was so worried that it was going to run over two hours.

I still don’t know what will happen to my lawnmower. I would just leave it, but I hate doing that. It seems so wasteful. It is wasteful, but I don’t know how to move it myself. I might use someone on craigslist.

I’m so glad my mom was off some days this week to help me move. I couldn’t have done it without her. I’m still not done, and I’m relying on her help a lot.  I did pay one of her bills for her for her help.

I have to get this out because I am so excited! Beto O’Rourke for 2020. OR Marianne Williamson for 2020. No, I’m not sure Marianne is going to run, but she is making a political announcement in about 8 days. I don’t know who I would vote for in a primary. Marianne is my dream president, but I feel like Beto might be more liberal.

Some people like Stacey Abrams and/or Andrew Gillum for 2020. I don’t know enough about Gillum. I have only heard him in soundbites. I do like Stacey Abrams. But I’m not 100% sold on her. I watched her debate with Kemp. She’s good, and I’d vote for her against a Republican, but as of right now I wouldn’t vote for her in the primary. I just love Beto, and I’ve been dreaming of a Marianne Williamson presidency for 2 years.

I do believe Beto can win the presidency, but Marianne probably doesn’t have much of a shot. Yes, a lot of it has to do with her being a female and her being a spiritual guru (plus Jewish), might not help.

Two out of the three people I voted for won on election day. Not bad. But I was hoping for three for three.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Ariana Grande, Maggie Rogers, Jess Glynne, Cheyenne Kimball, Aretha Franklin, Kacey Musgraves, James Bay, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Do yourself a favor and watch this:

TV of the week:  Nashville, Survivor, Making a Murderer

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week: Fresh Air, All in With Chris Hayes, So You Wanna Be a Witch, True Crime Garage, Pod Save America, Why is This Happening?

Books of the week: Now reading –

Plans for the Weekend: We have a big marathon on Saturday, so I can’t go anywhere. On Sunday I’m going back to the old house to clean up more. I have to get ready to go back to work on Monday. It’s been nice having a week off. I have some tarot, astrology and reading to catch up on.

Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend! 🙂

My life is broken

I took this pic on my walk today:


Woohoo! I’m off all next week! BUT, I’m moving on Friday. :/ So it will be a very, very busy week. My mom just got a job so she won’t be able to help me pack as much as we had planned. *groan* I have a lot of stuff. I’ve lived here for about 5 years. I didn’t realize I had this much. More on this later.

I’m going to start with some controversial statements. CNN sucks. Yes, I said it. Don Lemon and Anderson Cooper are great people. I don’t know much about Wolf Blitzer, but he is a Washington Wizards fan, so some of him is okay.  I’m not being sarcastic. I do like them. However, CNN is so boring. How can anyone watch it? So yeah, I agree with Trump on one issue. CNN is bad. Horrible.

MSNBC isn’t that left-leaning during the day. Only the night programming is liberal. I prefer MSNBC. I could watch that all day unless they are talking about Russia and then I can’t watch. They have personality! That is so much better programming. I don’t agree with everything management is doing at MSNBC, but that’s another issue. Hell, I prefer CSPAN over CNN. Well, I happen to love CSPAN. When I move to my mom’s house, I get to watch CSPAN!! 🙂 I haven’t had access to that in about five years.

I occasionally turn to Fox News, but I don’t stay long. I can’t stand lying liars. But there are fine people on both sides. 😉

More shocking statements: When people talk about global warming, I’m like BRING IT ON! I hate cold weather. Yes, I have an issue with people who claim to like the cold. Anyway, I suppose I should move, but it so nice here 70% of the time. Why should I move for 30% of the time that is cold? But I’m supposed to care about the earth more than my warmth. Well, sometimes I don’t. I don’t want it to ever be under 50 degrees. When I want to be a cold-hearted bitch, I think, “I don’t have kids. I don’t care about what happens to the earth when I’m gone”. But that’s only when I hate everyone.

As far as people claiming to like the cold. Yeah, right. They like it when they are in their warm ass house. One person I know claims to love when it gets colder. Okay. Now this person has to catch two busses when it gets freezing cold. Still like it? I didn’t think so. People are full of shit when it comes to winter.

I’ll save the rest of my controversy for later in this entry. 😉 I should be packing right now. If I weren’t sick, it would be so much easier. I feel worse in the afternoon. I couldn’t even finish doing my YouTube videos for the month for tarot. I think I only did 5 instead of the 12 I usually do.

*************BREAKING NEWS************* I finally contacted movers. CRY. They are charging me $487! I think the last time I moved it was $290. Um, yeah I probably told them I had too much. Sigh. I’m not moving my sofas. I’m throwing them out. Long story. I also told them I had a queen size bed. Nope. It is a full-size bed. And unfortunately, I’m moving my treadmill which might be broken. Ugh! Should I throw that out too? It is easy for me to say that because my mom has a treadmill.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Lauren Daigle, Pistol Annies, Tori Kelly, Carrie Underwood, Robyn, Carly Rae Jepsen, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Ariana Grande

I’m sick of this new trend of singers releasing a bunch of singles instead of releasing the album. I could use so many people for example. I’ll use Mariah. She has a 10 track album coming out. She has released FOUR of the songs already. Ugh. Stop already. FWIW, I like two of the songs. I just wish people would release the whole damn album.

TV of the week:  Nashville, Survivor, Making a Murderer

Let me take you through my Making a Murderer journey. First, I must admit that I’m the opposite of Nancy Grace. Grace thinks everyone is guilty. I’m not like that. In the beginning, I was like everyone else. I was outraged that Steven Avery and Brendan Dassey were in prison. It was clearly a setup. Then I started doing my own research. Why didn’t Avery go back to work after Teresa (the victim) supposedly left? He NEVER just stayed home after 11 AM. But on the day Teresa was there, he just stayed home. Why didn’t he go back to work? He also didn’t get a receipt. Not a big deal, unless someone gets killed. He also lied about how many times he called Teresa’s number. I’m sure there are other things. But those are the main things that stick out to me.

Now, I think Brendan is innocent. Mostly. I still have doubts. He should have taken the plea deal. I hate when lawyers tell people to plea when they didn’t commit the crime. But that goes out the door WHEN YOU HAVE A VIDEOTAPED CONFESSION. Okay? If our justice system were fair, a person could get a fair trial despite a wrong confession, but that’s not how our “justice” system works.  If the person has confessed, they should take the plea. I feel sorry for Brendan.

Now I’m watching the beginning of Making a Murderer 2. And I’m starting to believe both of them are innocent. Hah. So I dunno. It’s hard for me to think Avery is innocent. Why didn’t he go back to work???! Oh, have I already asked that? I’m sick of Avery and Brendan’s cases being connected. Avery could be guilty and Dassey could be 100% innocent.

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week: The Lowe Post, So You Wanna Be a Witch, All In With Chris Hayes, True Crime Garage, Serial, Tara Brach, The Beat with Ari Melber

Blood Pressure for the week (LOL):

I did a bad job monitoring my blood pressure this week. I only did it twice since I last posted. The results were:

  • 120/77 – October 31 @ 7:48 PM (meditated that morning)
  • 120/74 – November 1 @ 7:31 PM (no meditation that day)

So the meditation theory is just a theory. I was listening to Carrie Underwood when I took my BP on November 1. Maybe that helped? Joking. So, my BP isn’t always high. It has to be consistently high to be considered hypertension. I was surprised at it being so low because I’m REALLY stressed out right now.

Books of the week: 

Plans for the Weekend: 

Packing and grocery shopping. Besides packing, next week I’m going to vote on Tuesday, get my car inspected on Wednesday, and move on Friday. So I do have time to pack as long as I can breathe. I’ve canceled all tarot readings for next week. I still have one to do from this week. I will probably do that on Sunday. Glad to report that Google is sending more people to my tarot website. It’s still abysmal, but I’m new. Bing isn’t sending many people there yet. I’m a 99% Bing person. I don’t use Google.

Anyhow, tonight I’m going to pack more and throw stuff away.  All I really want to do is get in the bed and read even though it isn’t even 7 PM. I’m packing 50% of my stuff and throwing the other 50% away. That might seem strange, but no, that has been accurate so far. I was going to donate my sofas, but they are in bad shape. I don’t want to give anything like that. I’m just going to get someone to throw all this stuff (TVs, computers, etc.) away. I wish I could do it myself.

Sorry, this is so long. If I had more time, I would go back to posting twice a week. Next week I might post twice since I’m not working. Who knows? Thanks for reading my rants. Have a great weekend. 🙂

Before you tear it apart

Happy Asexual Awareness Week! (Yes, I made the following graphic…lol)

Untitled design-23

I’ve been sick forever with these allergies. But today was really bad, and I don’t get it. I’m using the $149 air purifier. I took allergy medicine this morning. It definitely affected my work production today. I don’t need help with anything making me slow. Right now, I can barely breathe. Whatever. I might come back to this later.

I’m going to link to my tarot website. It is about 80% done. It had a makeover. I might leave this link up for 10 hours or 10 days. It definitely won’t be forever. The most will probably be 2 weeks. HERE IS THE LINK. 🙂 All readers of this blog can use the code SWT65 to receive 65% off any reading. No limits and you don’t have to join my monthly newsletter to get that code.

I think I’m moving on November 10. No, nothing is really prepared. Sigh. This is probably my most stressful move. I’ve moved a lot since I graduated college. None of the moves were really stressful. It sucks because I can’t pack because I’m not feeling well.

Here are my most recent blood pressure readings:

  • 157/92 October 20  1:30 PM (!!!!!!!)
  • 142/93 October 20  1:35 PM
  • 140/95 October 21 1:45 pm
  • 146/97 October 21  6:30 pm
  • 142/97 October 21 6:34 pm
  • 136/86 October 23  5PM 
  • 146/77 October 24  8pm 
  • 129/79 October 24  8:30 pm (after meditation)
  • 132/80 October 25 6:10 pm

As you can see, my readings have been higher since I last posted. The only low reading was after a short meditation. I was listening to Sarah Jenks talk about the full moon in Taurus, and she led a 4-5 minute meditation, and I stopped what I was doing and did it. Then I decided to take my BP again, and it was lower! That’s great, but not necessarily real. I could meditate every morning, and by the afternoon, I’m pretty sure my BP would not be lower. But I will test that theory.  I did meditate this morning. Kind of. My dog is messing up my meditation time. He used to let me have my morning time. ARGH!! Anyway, my BP this evening was 132/80.

I’m so glad someone won that damn lottery. Andrew S. (a radio personality) once said: “The lottery is a tax on the stupid and the poor.” I don’t like calling people stupid. But it is a tax on the poor. I know so many poor people who can barely afford to pay their bills, but they will play the lottery. They play every day, so occasionally they win. The people I know win 3 to 4 times a year, but they don’t make all the money back. So they are either getting even or losing money.

It boggles my mind that people actually believe they are going to win. I wish I were that um, naive? I’m much more pragmatic. I’m not saying I’ve never played the lottery. I’ve bought scratch-offs. I’ve probably put about $28 over my lifetime in the lottery. I played once online, and $20 was the minimum amount to play, so that’s why that number is kind of high.

I can’t breathe. *Whine* I need to work on my website, so I’m going to end this soon. UPDATE: I couldn’t breathe last night so I finally decided to try the diffuser again. I had it on all night. I put peppermint and eucalyptus in it. It worked. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep without it. I have it on now. AMEN! Essential oils work for colds and allergies. Thank the universe!

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8 most listened to): Jess Glynne, Ariana Grande, Jason Mraz, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Matt Nathanson, Joan Osborne, Miranda Lambert, Britney Spears

TV of the week:  Nashville, The Sinner, basketball

Movie of the week: None

Podcasts of the week: Dirty John,  All In With Chris Hayes, So You Wanna Be a Witch, Bear Brook, Mentally Chill, The Lowe Post

Books of the week: 

Plans for the Weekend: Packing and maybe working overtime at my day job. I hope I feel better so I can get stuff done. I also need to feel better so I can record 8 more YouTube videos for my tarot biz. I was off on Tuesday, and I didn’t record anything due to OTHER PEOPLE TAKING OVER MY TIME (meant to yell), but even if I were home, I couldn’t have recorded because I couldn’t fucking breathe.

Anyway…thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! 🙂