Looking for heaven

I’m feeling scattered. Today is the first day of my favorite month of the year. The weather is gorgeous. My neighbor mowed my lawn on Saturday while I was out! Of course, I didn’t ask him to. He just did it. Good things. But there are also bad things. Or maybe not so bad, depends on how I look at it.

Tori Kelly’s City Dove (one of my favorite songs by her) is describing me right now. I hate quoting song lyrics on this blog, but today I will:

I don’t really know my fate
I just know I’m on my way
There will be mistakes
movin’ on

I could quote the whole song. It’s so perfect for where I am right now.

I’m feeling overwhelmed by my advanced tarot class and work. This class is a little more intense than I thought it would be. The damn coaching calls for this class are a bit much. I get so anxious. I have to talk and be on camera. Sometimes I hate technology. 😉 I would feel much better if they were just on the phone like my work meetings.

Ugh. I did the coaching call for the tarot class last night. It lasted 2 hours! And I sucked. Everyone else did so well. I’m not just saying that because I have low self-esteem. No, I was really inept. In my defense, I did a reading on someone who had to leave early. Everyone else had a partner. I probably would have done better if she were at the meeting. I also didn’t shuffle the cards properly because I had no idea we were going to do a REAL reading live on camera! I thought that didn’t happen until week 5.

I have to get better. I’m embarrassing myself. I just feel overwhelmed with everything going on. Anyway, now I have to message her the reading since she had to leave early. More work for me. I have to type it up. Blah, blah, blah.

AND because I didn’t get a lot of time to talk because my partner wasn’t there, I get extra time to speak on the next coaching call. AS IF I WANT THAT!!!! Lol. She’ll probably call on me first. 😦

Work. I barely made the productivity goal for April. I’m just hoping May will be better.

I’m feeling a little bitter over the way the part-time job company let me go. No email. Nothing. I just got an email from IT for their laptop. I knew it was coming. I said it here on the blog.

I almost forgot to mention my dog’s birthday. It was fun, but as soon as we got to the part of the river I wanted to visit, there was a bridge! My mom was too scared to cross, so I crossed with my dog. We didn’t stay long. The good thing is now I know where to park, and we can go there by ourselves. We have to go back (my dog and I).

No overtime for me today and it’s going to be nice. 80 degrees. I hope to go to the park today after I get off work. Gotta go. Bye!

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