I’m so tired now

Countdown:

1 day until the new year, new moon (for everyone!)

3 days until my advanced Tarot class starts

60 days until my DC Getaway

Happy New Year! 🙂

I was supposed to do something special for the new year, but so far I haven’t done anything. There’s still time. I will write some goals in my journal for what I want to accomplish this year (through April 17, 2019). Most of my goals will surround the Tarot reading business I want to start, but there are other things too.

We have a meet and greet for my Tarot class on Thursday night. That should be interesting. I have 3-4 lines I want to say. Well, really I don’t want to say anything. But this class is small, so I feel like I have to speak up. Have to. Otherwise, what is the point of being on the call? I’m going all in on this class. ALL IN…unless I feel like everyone is past me. This is an advanced class after all. However, after reading people’s answers to the questionnaire, I feel like I’m in the same place as most people: a beginner.

I told my mom she is a type 2 on the Enneagram. Uh, now I feel like she is offended. Uh-oh. That is total type 2 behavior!! ROFL. It’s not funny, but type twos think they are so good and they can’t see anything bad about themselves. They have no self-awareness. They are in deep denial when it comes to their shadow side. I spent Friday night reading about type 2s in Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery by Don Richard Riso and I really think she’s a type 2. What is said in the book is much, much, worse than what is on the website I showed my mom.

Type 2 isn’t even that “bad”. I would never tell someone they are a type 4. Never! And I’m a type 4. 😉 I think she is an average to unhealthy type 2. What sticks out to me is:

  • Can be manipulative and self-serving
  • give, but expect a return
  • willing to pitch in where needed and to do the things that need to be done, no matter how unpleasant or unglamorous

I’m also considering a type 6 for her. One reason I don’t feel like she is a two because she isn’t outgoing like most twos. But I keep coming back to what the book says about them not acknowledging their bad side and want to be seen as good. That screams her. I want her to take an online test to find out what type she really is, but she probably won’t. The tests are too long.

I’m 100% sure I’m a four. Anyone can tell that even though I don’t rely on my feelings like I used to 10 years ago. But I’m still trying to find myself. What am I? Most of my life I would say things like music lover, sports fan, a reader, etc. I would say things I like to do. That is how I defined myself because I didn’t know who I was. Okay, I still don’t really know, but I’m getting better at it.

Me in a nutshell:

  • emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious
  •  are acutely aware of and focused on their personal differences and deficiencies.
  • feel that they lack a clear and stable identity
  • negative self-image and chronically low self-esteem
  • Stay withdrawn to protect their self-image and to buy time to sort out feelings.

And some of the good stuff too! 🙂 Fours have many good traits. I wanted to post this entry with quotes from the book, but with work and my tarot classes, I don’t have time. The book is so good. I definitely recommend it to people interested in the Enneagram. It is very thorough and long.

Busy week. I have to mow the lawn. I was supposed to do it today, but it rained. Now I have to do it on a day when I’m working overtime. :/ Training continues to be stressful. But I survived today, and I’m determined to make tomorrow better.

Gotta go back to my Tarot class before I get into bed with my Enneagram book. Bye. 🙂

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