Love on repeat

I’m so sad to hear about the earthquakes in Mexico. The one that happened two weeks ago affected Oaxaca badly. I keep thinking about the people there and the buildings. Oaxaca is such a wonderful place. I hope to go back one day. I can’t even look at pictures of the damage.  I pray they don’t have any more earthquakes. 😦

And poor Puerto Rico. No power on the whole island?? That’s when you know things are bad.

Guess who is going to boot camp on Saturday morning? I’m so scared. I have never been to a boot camp, and other people will be there (!!). It’s free, and it’s not ongoing. It will be at a park. There will be a different free exercise activity in parks around the city for the next 6 weeks. I might skip hiking. That is too social for me. I have a feeling people would want to talk, and I would appear standoffish. I would love to go hiking alone, but with other people around? Ack!

Boot camp? What if it’s hard? What if I can’t keep up? What if I look foolish? I have to go, right? lol. I have only been to this park once and nowhere near where the boot camp will be. The map online isn’t helpful at all.  I’m going to have to get there early to find out where it is.

Forget Depo-Provera. I think I didn’t start gaining weight until I started Abilify. Another strike, but it is still worth it. Unfortunately, I can’t operate without it. AND the price was lowered to less than $1 a pill. Amazing! So what do I do? I honestly don’t feel like I have much of a choice. Some people would say go gluten-free and exercise more or something like that. But I know that would take me a while and I don’t believe it will work for me, so I have to be on something in the interim.

Do people not get it? When I’m depressed, I can’t exercise. I’m in bed. Gluten-free? Who gives a shit? I just want to die. Abilify can be evil, but it works for me. I know it doesn’t work for everyone.

I won’t see my shrink again until December. I have that long to think about it. Maybe I will ask him about TMS since there isn’t an alternative to Abilify (for me). I have a feeling he will not go for TMS. As I see it, my options are to stay on Abilify or get a new shrink. My shrink is okay, but I don’t feel like I can talk to him easily. That’s probably 100% on me. I won’t blame him.

Hopefully, I won’t keep posting about Abilify. I just need to make a tough decision. The price going down by $200 really complicates things.

This week I…

Music of the week (my top 8): Nelly Furtado, Jem, Jillette Johnson, Julia Michaels, John Mayer, JoJo, Britney Spears, Shawn Mendes

TV of the week: Big Brother, The Kalief Browder Story

I followed Kalief Browder since I first heard of his story a while ago. I think he was in Rikers at the time. I remember thinking, “This shows how messed up the ‘justice’ system is.” I wish he could have beaten his demons. I was so glad when he was released, but prison messes with your head…especially Rikers! How tragic. 😦

I honestly don’t see how anyone believes we have a fair justice system. Some people aren’t paying attention.

Movie of the week: None

Books of the week: Currently reading –

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo: A Novel by Taylor Jenkins Reid (fun book)

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren

DSCN0536

Plans for the Weekend: Boot camp!!! I’m so anxious. Have I mentioned that? I hope enough people show up. More than 10, but less than 30 would be good. I want the people who put this together to be successful, but too many people might terrify me.

I will also go grocery shopping, work, mow the front yard and study.

Have a fabulous weekend! Thanks for reading. 🙂

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