I bend and I bend til I break

Countdown:

4 days until my bday trip (!!!!)

37 days until my certification exam (so not ready)

May has been a month. lol. Spirit is definitely trying to teach me something. Work is stressing me out. Blah, blah. Maybe everything will calm down once I go on vacation. I’m used to May being good. It looks like the weather will be great next week. It’s supposed to be 85+ degrees on my birthday!  I was worried about it being cold. I have to go to the beach, and I have to rock my maxi dress. 😉

I have given up the wish to not have my period on my vacay. Whatever. I have no idea what’s going to happen with that. I can’t wait until the Depo stops my period completely. That is all I’m looking forward to. I was going to yoga this Saturday, but my period is off and on so I’m probably not going.

Wednesday was my worst day of 2017. I am alone 97% of the time (not counting my dog) yet I never feel lonely. I felt all alone on Wednesday. There was no universe and definitely no human help. But I am proud of myself. Sweets are my trigger food, and I was going to buy a red velvet cupcake because I had the worst. day. ever. I didn’t do it. I didn’t turn to food even though I thought about it.

I haven’t had sweets (cake, cookies, etc.) in about 3 months. I can’t eat them because if I do, I will possibly start up again and won’t be able to stop. I think that’s why my weight has been steady. I haven’t been eating perfectly, I just stopped eating sweets. That works for me.

I don’t know why Wednesday was so bad. I started my day off with deep prayer and (a not so deep) meditation. I wasn’t in negative land until all this shit started happening. And even after all the crap started, I tried to be positive because I know that negativity breeds negativity.

In conclusion, I’m proud of myself for not eating a red velvet cupcake to “comfort” myself. And Thursday was much, much, much better. I was so scared it was going to be a repeat of Wednesday.

This week I…

Music of the week: Lea Michele, Joseph, Mary J. Blige, Chris Stapleton, India.Arie, Rachel Platten, Solange, Alicia Keys

I’m obsessed with Lea Michele’s new album. I didn’t think I was going to like it because it is all ballads. I’m a solo dance party kinda girl. However, for some reason, I LOVE this album.

TV of the week: NBA Playoffs,  Pretty Little Liars

Movie of the week: The Shift

My favorite quote from the movie is “You’re only a thought away from changing your life.” I’ve experienced being a thought away from changing my day. But my life? How inspiring. It will happen because I’m working on it daily. Btw, the movie was decent.

Books of the week: Still reading: Night by Elie Wiesel, A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever by Marianne Williamson, and
May Cause Miracles: A 40-Day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimited Happiness by Gabrielle Berstein (on day 39).

I’m going to be reading A Course in Miracles for at least a year, so I guess I should list that here.  I’m starting The Course on this Sunday. I’m so excited to begin the workbook!  I bought A Course in Miracles Made Easy: Mastering the Journey From Fear to Love. I may start that along with The Course. I haven’t decided yet. It was on sale for $1.99 and has great reviews, so I had to have it.

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren

DSCN0344

Plans for the Weekend: Packing, packing, and more packing. I might go to yoga on Saturday, but I have a thousand reasons why I might just skip it and stay in. As of right now, I’m not going. I have to mow the lawn on Sunday since it has been rainy throughout the week.

Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend. 🙂 I might post before I go on my trip, but if not I’ll have pics and details when I get back near the end of next week.

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