What I cannot change

I’m not some dumb American. I can understand Spanish. I felt like what the workers were doing and saying had racist overtones to it. Just because I’m at home during the day doesn’t mean that I don’t work. I could work at night. I could work very flexible hours from home. I could have a trust fund.  What a freaking concept! Or I could have a somewhat nonflexible work at home job. (<—That would be me).

Backstory: There were people working during the day in my neighborhood. At least one of them was taunting my dog as I walked by on Thursday. And they were talking very loudly in Spanish. They probably have no idea I could understand some of it. This continued the next day when they saw me again. I’m so glad they are gone. But I bet a lot of my neighbors also think I get disability (not that there is anything wrong with that) or some form of government assistance. They can’t even THINK of other possibilities.

Their limited thinking (if you want to call it that), says more about them then me. It is also limited thinking to assume that because someone is reading a book on addiction, that they have an addiction. Ever heard of curiosity? People are close-minded. I happen to read on a lot of topics that I don’t personally have.

Once I was reading a book called “Mexicans.” And someone said, “They don’t care about you. Why are you reading about them?”. I kid you not. People are really something.

——

I called into my first Overeaters Anonymous (OA) meeting. I didn’t have to say anything, see anyone or leave my house, so it went well. 🙂 Seriously, it was helpful, and I will be calling in every week.

I always said that if I were an alcoholic, I would not join AA. I’ve read the 12 steps, and most of the steps don’t resonate with me. I don’t believe in God. Strike #1. But OA has the 12 steps plus other helpful info like not eating sugar…ever! I need to do that. They focus on abstinence. I so need that.

Maybe one day I’ll get a sponsor. But I’m not sure this is a major issue in my life. The last thing I want to do is waste someone’s time. Another thing is the sponsor will most likely make me call strangers to talk about eating and um, NO. I’m willing to talk to a sponsor on the phone…shouldn’t that be good enough? Why does everything involve talking? ugh.

Another thing is they focus on how much weight one loses as a part of recovery. Well, I already lost my weight. Sure I would love to lose 5 more pounds, but that’s all. I feel a little weird about that aspect of it.

That’s not it. NOPE. When I go all in, I go all in. I also called into a Debtors Anonymous meeting. It takes place daily early in the morning. Maybe one day I can find other groups that don’t deal with the 12 steps. Anyway, the meeting I called on Friday morning was just okay. I might have to find another group. I will also try Shoppers Anonymous.

I know I have to do more than meetings. (Thanks, Susie!) I’m already DOING things. I’m working on abstinence. I will blog more about this journey as it unfolds.

This week I…

Music of the week: Britney Spears, Yuna, Beyonce, Frank Ocean, Ingrid Michaelson, Ellie Goulding, Carrie Underwood, Martina McBride

The new Ingrid Michaelson is much better than her last album. Loving it so far. Ellie Goulding has another hit on her hands. And it is my song of the week:

TV of the week:  Grey’s Anatomy, Big Brother

Movie of the week: none

Books of the week: I’m reading:

Plans for the Weekend: It’s all about cleaning up. I’m starting today, and I’m planning to be done by Saturday. I didn’t get a chance to redo my resume, so I’m definitely doing that this weekend. I will also plan my “new life” with what I’ve learned in the anonymous meetings.  And hopefully, I get to just chill outside with my dog and a book. Oh, I have to update my Trunk Club entry, but I still don’t know what I’m keeping, and I’m mailing it back tomorrow. So I guess I will also be trying on clothes and crunching numbers tonight.

Have a nice weekend! Thanks for reading. 🙂

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