I don’t care if I blog off key

I was thinking about deleting this journal/blog. I’m so glad I didn’t. I read through some of the archives. Uh, wow. No, this place is my life. I can’t just delete it!! Never. I may stop updating at one point or make it private like I’ve done in the past. But I won’t delete. When I write in my paper journal, I’m usually depressed or just trying to figure out something. Here, I have so many happy memories alongside suicidal or very sad moments.

Here are some highlights of my life told in this blog:

Sad times

There is a LOT more here but, I don’t have time to go through it all. As far as blogging goes, I will try to continue to do it, but I have to be true to myself. Real. Raw. Otherwise, why do it? I might post more. I might post less. Not sure.

I’m not going to change what I say based on feelings of others. Not that I did that a ton, but sometimes I did. I’m just going to keep repeating “Real and raw” to myself when I do blog. That’s what I used to do. Some of these recent entries are crap. However,  I did get vulnerable and reveal things and that was risky. Will people judge me? Make themselves superior to me? Who cares? I don’t give a damn. I’m going to keep telling my truth.

And I’m never going to have blog titles that make sense 100% of the time. I loved looking back at my old entries and knowing where that title came from. If the majority don’t like it…whatevs!

I like doing my weekly recaps because 2 years from now, I will find that interesting. What music was I listening to that week? What was I reading? etc. Those aren’t raw posts at all.

Speaking of raw: I was pissed this morning. This is why I hate people. I think someone living across the street is throwing trash in my yard. Someone is doing it. I just don’t know for sure who it is. Now I’m sure it is a “neighbor”.  I hate people. Did I already say that? I cannot say it enough when I’m pissed.

I don’t know how people with kids do it. I’m sure I’ve said this before. My damn dog is getting on my nerves. He wants to eat lunch right now. URGH! I guess I better go. Demanding dog. :/

Today is the last day of my 4-day work vacay. I can’t remember the last time I  didn’t do any work for four whole days. It has been at least 3 years. I’ve been on the treadmill for today. I’ve got to plan my week, read, watch basketball (doing that now), and continue working on my practicum. I made a lot of progress with my practicum this weekend. I should be finished by the end of April.

Let me feed this dog.

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