I know how to fake a hard look

You might not be able to help me. That makes me sad, but not for me. It makes me sad for you. It must be frustrating for a shrink to have a patient who’s beyond fixing. That first shrink I saw when I got back to Clayton Falls told me no one is a lost cause, but I think that’s bullshit. I think people can be so crushed, so broken, that they’ll never be anything more than a fragment of a whole person.

-still missing by chevy stevens

I now weigh about 134 lbs. I would think, “I’ve got to be pregnant” but I know I’m not. This is ridiculous! I weighed myself right after weight lifting class today. Don’t say muscle weighs more than fat because I know that is not the case for me. I just started working with weights. SCREAM. I don’t know what to do anymore. This is far from my biggest issue. I wouldn’t dare call it a problem but seeing 134 on the scale today was a little frustrating.

I’m frustrated with everything right now. FUCK. Weight shouldn’t even be a concern for me. I have so many real problems, issues & concerns. LOL. If I had to rate something #1, I guess it would be (should be) financial concerns.

————

I’m officially sick of the Zimmerman trial. Well it isn’t the trial as much as people talking about it. And what am I about to do? Blog about it. I don’t have a TV in my home office but I do have wireless headphones so I sometimes listen to the audio throughout the day. I love trials. I watch them all – big and small. I hate watching ones where the defendants have public defenders. NO OFFENSE to them. They just don’t have the funds to compete with the prosecution. And that’s not a level playing field.

Back to Zimmerman…I don’t understand why people are so caught up in who was yelling on the tape. Does it matter? To me it doesn’t because if a certain person had NOT FOLLOWED SOMEONE, none of this would have happened. MYOB. I know he is a overzealous neighborhood watch type so he isn’t a minding your business type. He thinks everything is his business. I know the type.

I think he should be charged with a lesser offense. Manslaughter or negligence. I know the law in Florida but self defense when he sought out trouble? Uh, no.

————–

Horrible transition as in no transition. Confession: Sometimes I watch TV shows and wonder how my life would be different if I had friends in high school. I never went to a sleepover. I never had a birthday party. I never dated (and wasn’t allowed to). I never did anything normal. I know gauging normal by watching “Pretty Little Liars” (haha) is not something one should do but I wonder. What is it like to be able to talk?

Now I guess the question is ‘What is it like to want to talk?’ I don’t know if I ever really had the desire but now it is basically gone.

———–

See I was reading my book and then I saw the quote. I stopped. I had to get that quote in my blog. So much for reading. I don’t do these ranting random posts as much as I used to so……..

/end rant

#random

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