DYING DYING DYING

Ugh, I’m very close to giving up. But can I afford it? How dumb is it to max out my credit card(s) with rent for my apartment? I don’t even know if I can afford to do that. FUCK.

I need to know why now A suddenly isn’t interested. What if the leasing company told her something? I sort of need to know that. (I did text her but she hasn’t answered. Not bothering her again). I know they don’t have a ton of 1 bedrooms especially at the price I was/am paying. This is a bargain. What sucks? The location. College students don’t want to live that far out.

I just need to know if the leasing company said “she can’t rent you the apartment because blah blah”. Even though they did tell me about two months ago that this was the only way to get out of my lease.

I’m definitely taking some time off from looking for people to occupy the apartment. It I weren’t on vacation next week, I’d probably take 2-3 weeks off.  I could use a break. But I feel like I have to take advantage of my time off from work.

Since I can’t rent the apartment, I will definitely not be going anywhere even though I have a free night from hotels.com. However, the free night is only worth $77 so I would have to add more money. Sigh. So instead I wanted to clean up this house and put everything in place.And I actually have a ton of work to do. Yes, I’ll be working off the clock on my vacation. Hopefully I can get everything done between Saturday and Monday.

I will be going to the new-to-me park in the neighborhood. I have to find some time to cancel my gym membership and I want to take a class at the free gym starting next week. I’m going to miss the Y for their pool but I can’t afford that privilege.

My biggest regret is renting the apartment in the first place…not because I have to pay for it but it has made my hypervigilance worse. I am worse off now than I was before I moved into the apartment and there seems to be no cure. 😦 My PTSD is bad.

At least I get a semi-break from work.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s