the end must be drawing near

Shit is getting real. I’m so scared. I’m always scared.

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Like I tweeted, my african dwarf frog died. 😦 I had Michelle for almost exactly 9 months. I’m guessing she was about 2-3 months when I brought her but I don’t know. Michael (dwarf frog) and Storm (betta fish) are left in the 5 gallon tank now. Michelle would always help Michael find the food – not in a friendly way. He would just follow her lead. Now I hope Michael will find the food on his own. I hope he isn’t getting sick too. Maybe he is just sad because Michelle is gone? 😦

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So the voluntary foreclosure is going down. TERRIFYING. What happens? What do I do? Just wait? Freaking. Me. Out. Do I have to get an attorney? I will die if I have to go to court. DIE.

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Money/bills are scaring me too. I just have to get real with it. I already turned the thermostat back 5 degrees. I get so cold. Even before I turned the thermostat back, I wore a poncho and a sweater while working and sleeping. They renovated the apartment but they did a shitty job insulating it. During the summer, I will have it hot. I hate being cold but I can deal with hot. No high electric bills due to AC use.

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I haven’t posted Project Life layouts in a while. I have January done but no photos (!!). To save on shipping, I am going to get January & February shipped together. Then I’ll post a bunch of layouts during the beginning of March. I keep forgetting to take pictures so……but I am documenting life as I see it (minus the depression etc.) Sometimes I lose interest but then I look at other people’s layouts. That is when I wish I had my photos.

Today I’m going to try to get some of the stuff I saved about the Superbowl in my binder. It would be so much easier if I had 12×12 page protectors instead of just the standard size.

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I’m thinking about going to the beach for one night on my birthday. The hotels aren’t that expensive in May. But one day/night at the beach seems like a waste of money & time. Hmmm, why not be at my favorite place on my birthday? I do have to work the next day. I’ll look at my finances and make a decision next month. I’m so glad I irresponsibly went to Mexico in October because I don’t see any kind of big trip happening anytime soon.

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WORK – Basically I’m trying to not get laid off. I feel a lot of pressure. On Thursday I had a 10 minute cry but I got a lot done. I hope I’m getting help with a project on Monday. The person hasn’t emailed me back & I need help STAT. I’m overwhelmed. There isn’t enough support or time to get the work done. I never thought I would wish things were the way they were a year ago…

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I’m excited to get back to the gym next week. I have some Y goals:

  • go to the pool with the pretty blue water. I’ve been hesitant because I’ve never had a tour of that particular gym.
  • be brave enough to go to a strength training class
  • do more cardio (class or just treadmill)

I may get on the treadmill after yoga tomorrow. That seems counterproductive. I’m going to relax but then get myself worked up by getting on the treadmill. ??? Doing cardio before yoga means getting up extra early and I’ve been doing that a lot so……

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I’m so excited for the Oscars tomorrow. I’m not really rooting for anyone. I saw Lincoln and of course I thought it was excellent but I don’t care who wins. I like so many of the nominees…So tomorrow consists of going to the gym, Laker game (on TV), & the Oscars (on TV). 😉

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