no such thing

Work had me freaking out today. When I get nervous, I talk fast, type fast, start breathing fast. I do everything fast. I FREAK OUT.  I can’t think. I make stupid mistakes. I hate performing. I hate the spotlight. UGH. whew! It took me forever to calm down. I’m glad today is over but it won’t be the last. :/ I’m still shaking at the flashbacks and I didn’t even have to talk. I could have talked but I elected not to, of course.  I can’t believe I have to be on display again and again. BREATHE.

I’m not doing swimming lessons this fall. I think. I’m going full force into one of my passions: jewelry making. There is a class that meets for 3 hours a week for 6 weeks starting in September. I’m taking it. I don’t care if it is wise. blah, blah. I wanted to learn how to swim because: 1.) I love water. 2.) it is good exercise. 3.) it might turn into a passion. I love passions. 🙂  But since I don’t know what it is like to swim, I don’t know if I’m missing anything. On the other hand, I know how much I love making jewelry. Music is still my #1 passion.

It’s too bad I’ve forgotten most of what I’ve learn. I’m confident this jewelry course will reteach me the basics plus teach me more. Plus I really need to get into a class before I start buying all kinds of  random beads.  I now have inspiration for the kind of jewelry I want to make. I think that it is important to narrow it down or otherwise I would be all over the place. I’m inspired by the beach  but purple is my favorite color so I don’t know how that will work. And I love Tibetan beads. Lovely. I think I’m sticking with the beach.

Maybe someone isn’t doing jewelry making anymore and wants to get rid of their stuff on craigslist?? Just putting it out there…I’m so tempted to go to jewelrysupply.com and go nuts. They have nice beads on clearance. Self control, where art thou?

If for some reason the class is cancelled or it is full before I get to register, then I will reconsider swimming.

Oh yeah, one more thing I want to do this fall is finally go to North Carolina! Most people dream of Paris, I’ll settle for North Carolina. LOL. I’ve been trying to get there for years but something always comes up. I’m not paying for this trip so it isn’t up to me at all. But I hope to make it in November. My boss has to approve for me to take that Friday off then D has to decide to want to go and then I’m off to Chapel Hill. I don’t want to visit UNC (but I will). I want to go to Duke University. I’m obsessed with that school. heh. I love their basketball program. Plus the campus is beautiful. I just hope everything works out.

OMG! I just got approved to get that Friday and Monday in November off!! 🙂 That still doesn’t mean I’m going to NC but it is more likely. woohoo. YAY.

—————

I still have to pack for my overnight trip.  I don’t know what to take. I hope I can make it to the beach on Sunday morning. (The concert is Saturday night). That would be awesome. I just have to figure out parking.

OVERWHELM. OVERWHELM. OVERWHELM.

What do I feel the most other than anxious? OVERWHELMED.

Another outburst. Sorry I can’t help it. 😉

—————–

I fell in love with a tortoise!! A guinea pig also gave me the cutest look. Anyhow, for the past few months I’ve been really wanting a turtle. Petsmart just happened to have Russian tortoises when I went there on Sunday. They were so cute. Two of them appeared to be sleeping but one was poking his cute little head out. 🙂 I want one so bad. But I can’t. I’ve read a lot about turtles and I can’t have a Russian tortoise where I live now or when I move. They require too much. I still might consider an aquatic turtle one day

Russian tortoise chilling outside

What a cutie!  🙂

Now I have to do work after work because I’m a geek.

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