Haunted by you

“You are doing okay, right?”
“You’re fine, right?”

Me: Yes.

That is the only lie I can tell. I can tell that lie because it is only one word. I can’t convincingly lie about anything else.
———-
I skipped yoga today because this week has been busy, busy, busy and I’m slightly behind with school work. I was planning on missing the class because I was feeling sick but as of yesterday, I started feeling better. It is always like this. The heavy nausea comes and goes. I think I now know what my physical problem is. It is my scoliosis. Unfortunately now I’m worried that I might need surgery. What if my organs are all messed up??? (That does/has happened to people). I’m probably 15 years too late for a back brace fix. So if you have scoliosis get it fixed when you are 10. Don’t wait and end up like me.

I still have the abdominal pain and now pain in my back and upper legs. My therapist thinks my nausea is 100% anxiety related. (Gotta love psych people!) I have no idea whether my organs being “smushed” or whatever is causing nausea. I just want to rule out any physical issues. Yeah, my nausea issues could be due to anxiety…I don’t know.
———
Basically I’m still overwhelmed with everything but I’m trying out the scheduling thing. And I’m trying to find different places to study. Today (instead of yoga) I studied outside. I may check out one of the university libraries for a different location to study. I’m mostly overwhelmed about the things I don’t have much control over like the DMV situation and the selling-my-house situation. Oh yeah, and going to the doctor.

Now I’m overwhelmed again. Plus I have to head a teleconference meeting next week at work. (super excited about that <– sarcasm). I will be off for one week soon. I WILL make it to the park for at least one morning. The rest of the time may be filled with errands. I was supposed to be going to North Carolina but that fell through so no major plans for my vacation from work. Studying and appointments is what I will be doing.
———–
Pet update: My dog ate some of the frog’s food this morning. I hope she doesn’t turn into a big frog. Big frogs scare me. In fact I don’t like frogs any bigger than my dwarf frogs. My betta fish, Sky, is still living…..but he has some swelling underneath his face. 😦 I changed his water and placed aquarium salt in the aquarium. That is about all you can do with fish. He is moving around more this week than last but as long as the swelling is there, that can’t be good. I hope he isn’t in pain. 😦

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