Living the scared life

OH SHIT! It has hit the fan at work. Everything was going…okay. But remember nothing stays the same. Um, did a 360 have to happen? I’ve dealt with 180s. C’mon WTF did I do to deserve this? Let me back up: This is not about me losing my job. Thank Buddha. It has nothing to do with that.

It is social crap. That sounds like nothing. However, I am terrified to go to work on Monday. I keep wondering if terrified is the right word. But I think it is….social anxiety is about fearing social situations. Yep, I’m “irrationally” terrified.

I just wish all of this hadn’t happen on a Friday. I’m trying to not let it ruin my weekend but it probably already has. FUCK. Why did I let them see me scared? Why did I runaway? “Never let them see you sweat”. Well I’m fucked up so sweating is what I do. I don’t know how to fake it. I wear everything on my sleeves. Everything. I try not to. I really do. %^#&

So basically I’m screwed. I want to take this time to take my anger out on my coworkers. 🙂

JENx:

YOU LIAR! You are so fake and political. But I know you and that bugs you. Being a liar doesn’t even bother you. I won’t bring your religion into this. (ROFL). You are just a mean girl. I hope you don’t act this way at  home or I feel bad for your kids and all your family members. FUCKING LIAR. I wish you had gotten the job you applied for. I really do.

CLAx

I haven’t done shit to you. What did I do to you? Don’t you feel anything for messing with a person who hasn’t done anything to you? WTF happened? Will you come to your senses? I never thought you would bond over gossiping but I guess you are only like everyone else.  I can’t wait until you work at home or don’t have to sit at your desk all day…whichever comes first. You are helping making my life hell. (Once again I will not bring religion into this).

ANx

We are far from friends but please don’t let them kill me on Monday. Please. I know you owe me nothing. So…forget it. I’m screwed.

I will be studying my Buddhist texts and I might even pray! There is a light here…Eventually they (and me) will be working at home so I won’t have to deal with this. But I don’t know WHEN. It isn’t like we have dates or anything. I’m not counting on going home anytime soon. But I want the first two people I listed at home ASAP. I’ll stay in the office. Whatever.

Well I have to go to my house and clean it. Slowest process ever.  I’m also going to Best Buy to use my Best Buy gift card. Can’t you feel my excitement?

I had to get this out.

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