these tired eyes just want to remain closed

YAY for football talk.
———–
(I go to therapy about once every 5-6 weeks…)

Me: restless, bored, blah blah

therapist: Well that is really a good problem to have.

Me (in my Seth Meyers voice): REALLLY??!
——–
No I didn’t say that. I didn’t even think that until I got to work. That figures. Anyway….I was so “bored” that I went to the famous garden. Wow, what a let down. And I love flowers. Everyone raves about this. “One of the best and biggest garden on the east coast”. REALLY? sorry. I have some pics that I will post later. Plus it was hot but I did walk around the entire place. I can’t believe I spent $11 on that. The park is free and so much better.

I rarely stay in all weekend these days. But when I do: BORED. I have things to do of course. I’m just not motivated to do these things. I watched two movies this past weekend I was so bored. I love movies but since my attention span has dwindled, I can barely make it through a movie these days. Yet I managed to watch two. Then I read…but I got bored with that too. 😉 Watching TV to get rid of boredom doesn’t work for me, it usually makes me depressed.

I don’t think I should be complaining about this because school begins in a month. I was supposed to pay for my class today but someone else had other plans. URGH. So tomorrow after work, I will trek down to the school. I need to enjoy this um free time? I just can’t get started with things….even hobbies. I finally learned how to knit on a loom and I haven’t even touched the loom in over a month.

Everything is blah, blah, blah…except yoga and listening to music. Everything that would give me an adrenaline rush costs a lot. Concerts and traveling are my things but nah, not right now.

————–
I don’t know if I ever did a final post on Abilify. Yes abilify works for me. Call me lucky. But if it does work you will be awake/alive MORE. So it is a big change. That should be on the warning label. Warning: You might start doing stuff. You might be bored, restless etc. with your extra time. Hopefully most people don’t have this problem. Maybe they like talk to people and stuff? (social life – I wouldn’t know a thing about that. Ha!) I have tons of interests but I’m currently lacking in motivation due to my living situation and other things.

Am I glad I’m taking abilify? In a word, YES. I wouldn’t trade my current life for my old life. I’m alive. I’m not always happy to be alive but what am I going to do? (don’t answer that). There is life in me. I just lack motivation sometimes.

I’m petsitting my dog at my mom’s house so I have room to do a few yoga poses. I think I’m going to try watching yoga on TV and wait until the teacher gets to warrior poses. fun, fun. Let’s do yoga.

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