Don’t Ask

It’s rainy on the east coast. My cat and I have slept all day. I was supposed to go grocery shopping today. I go every 3 weeks. I take my mom since she doesn’t drive. Every once in a while she can’t go at the 3 week mark. That always throws me off. I hate going to Walmart because it isn’t the closest place and it is of course it is crowded. Going to Kroger’s is more convenient and I love it but it doesn’t seem smart to waste money that way. I’ve done it before and it is hard to justify spending more money when I can go to Walmart.

I’m high on liquid Tylenol. Hence the sleeping all day. I only take pain meds for cramps. Tylenol is the least effective but it is all I have. Oh my point is I feel like crap so that is why I didn’t go get groceries. I will force myself to go during the week. I don’t have anything to drink but at least I have food.
—————

It was great to cry tears of relief or maybe joy and not have anyone around to judge me for it. I’m proud of myself for sending a thank you email to my manager. I always procrastinate. Then it is ‘too late’ to say/do anything. Even though I waited a week, I still sent a thank you and didn’t use the ‘too late’ excuse. I hate being vulnerable. But I don’t even regret it. It’s been 24 hours. I can’t take it back. However, in the past I would have wondered if it I did the right thing. Basically I would have been a mess. Now not so much.

I have a lot of crap I’m trying to work through without blogging about it. I thought about just not blogging at all. Just taking a break but an interesting conversation happened:

THE HAVINGS KIDS CONVO

LOL. How I love this…or not. While they were talking I wanted to ask, “Have you considered adoption?” But of course they have! They aren’t stupid and they have a bunch of people butting into their business. Never mention adoption. OF COURSE, the person has thought about it. You aren’t the first one to suggest it. I’m so glad I didn’t open my mouth. Normally I don’t think of saying anything but the woman saying “Kids don’t cost anything” (hehehe) made me squirm.

She wants this woman to have kids because she believes in manners*. squirm. Don’t react in any way even though she is sitting right next to you. Don’t you think this woman is getting enough pressure from her own family??? Please don’t add to it. Besides her husband will be more financially “stable” soon. It’s not like she’s me where it is never going to happen.

*As if that is a guarantee that her kids will. ROFL.

I do agree that if you wait until you have money to have kids, you may never have them. Personally I think having kids with my financial situation would be irresponsible. It’s a personal choice. Maybe $$ is what people unsure of having kids say. Maybe she already knows she doesn’t want kids (but doesn’t want to say it). Maybe she can’t have kids. Etc.

I now think that asking people about having kids should be on the no-no list along with politics and religion when it comes to coworkers. These people barely know each other. They have known each other for less than a week. Maybe they didn’t get anything out of it but I did – NEVER ASK A PERSON ABOUT KIDS. If the person has kids, she/he will bring it up within 5 minutes. LOL. If the person does not mention kids: Don’t ask. This also reminds me of another conversation I overheard. Someone asked a woman how many kids she had. One of her kids had cancer and died. She is probably used to answering this question since people can’t refrain from bringing it up but geez…

Just don’t ask. Unless the person asks you first. This happens to me with new people all the time. I’ll say “No kids” and then I’ll ask the person whether they have any just to keep the conversation flowing. (I used to not do that but I’m learning – haha) I don’t really care. I would rather hear about your pets. When people say they have kids, I have no idea what I’m supposed to say next. “Um, that’s nice.” I have no clue. I haven’t learned that part yet. How do I feign interest? I suck at faking it. Really suck.

Ugh, I have so much to do. It is 7PM on Sunday and I haven’t officially gotten up yet. Groan.

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2 thoughts on “Don’t Ask

  1. LoL, I mainly get asked how many kids I have sometime during the first few moments of meeting a stranger I’ll have to be stuck around. The assumption I already have kids (at 21) or want them at all bothers me, but I guess what can you do…I agree it’s best not to bring the subject up, especially with people who don’t matter or honestly don’t care.

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