I’m a social casualty

A week from today I will be at the beach at this time. The weather is nice today. But I want rain for my dirty car….but not next weekend.

I’ve decided I’m going to Panama. Which city? I have no idea. Going to Mexico would be easier but why not dream bigger? I ALWAYS settle. Eventually I want Mexico/Central America to be like a 2nd home to me. I will be fine if I never visit any other region of the world. I checked out two books travel books today: Mexico and Costa Rica. Heh. For some reason they don’t have a guide to Panama. There are plenty of books about the Panama Canal though. Thanks. Ha. Of course now I will want go to Mexico or Costa Rica first. It will probably be about cost at the end. I already found a decent sounding hotel in Oaxaca City, Mexico for under $50 a night. Only a ten minute walk to town. Hmmm.

Forget all the stuff above. This is the real shit. The WTF am I gonna do shit:

Due to the current economic state, our company is doing cross training. That isn’t always bad, right? In fact when it comes to most things I would welcome it. HOWEVER I DON’T DO PHONES! I’d rather do your windows. I was a back –up receptionist for one hour a day at one job. Being a receptionist is totally different from customer service. *Groan* I sucked at the receptionist job when people asked for random (?) things like directions. WTF? I didn’t even drive my car to work. I had rarely been on the highway at the time. I didn’t (and barely do now) know the difference between 65 and 95. I could only transfer calls.

I sucked at taking messages too. Buddha, have mercy on my poor soul.

Once again this would be funny if it didn’t involve my income. Do I have to say what happens if I suck at this?????????????? Do I have to explain that every single call is recorded? Blah. Blah. I have never done customer service on phones before.

I’m going to have to learn how to be fake (uh, wish me luck!). I need a filter. OMG. Jx was on the phone with a screaming teenager. She just listened. I would have wanted to say, “Do you feel better now?” ROFL. Who lets someone just yell at them? I’m pretty sure I won’t have the desire to yell back but I’m not going to listen to it. “Are you done honey?” See, I can fake it! 😉 No one wants this. If the normies* hate it, how do you think I feel? I’ll tell you. TERRIFIED.

*normal social people

I don’t even talk to humans so…….SCREAM. This entry is really TMI. But I had to get this out. I got to listen to two calls recently. DIES. I would not have known what to say. I don’t have conversations with people. Do they really think they are going to teach me that? Really? Well, I’m updating my résumé.

Here is how I would have handled one call I listened in on. I don’t work for a company that sells things but I’m trying to do my best at not revealing my where I work or the industry.

Customer: I’m at the cash register right now and I need ———- to pay for my stuff.

Me: You are calling me from the store? Right now? Um. Um. ::freaking out::

LOL. That probably doesn’t make sense. None of “our customers” would be in a store. But that is the best way to describe that call without revealing anything. Just hearing that made me shake. I don’t handle pressure well. I hope my anxiety prevents me from having any “are you serious??!” comments slip up. A lot of people are thinking it but they don’t SAY it. I need a filter.

“Thank you for calling ————“. Um, no. I’m shaking. My stomach is doing cartwheels. My mouth is dry. I would rather you do anything but call. Thank you.

My biggest fear is getting diarrhea. When I get extremely nervous/anxious that is what happens. Talk about TMI. But hmm, could I get a doctor’s note for that? We aren’t allowed to get up if we are on the phones so……..what would I do? I would hate having to explain that to anyone. I didn’t enjoy typing that.

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