Can’t Say No

I didn’t do a thing yesterday (besides library & gas station). Nothing. I don’t know how I feel about this. After working Mon-Fri, a day off while vegging out doesn’t seem like the worst thing ever but I do have things I have to do. So far today I’ve worked on my résumé. I’m pleased with the results but the one I created from scratch 3 years ago looked better. Now I’m working with a template from the book I brought (link below). What else? I filled my recycle bin. And I’ve organized my laundry.

However none of those things is complete. This is very typical of me. I start working on all my projects at once and then I finish them throughout the week or when I HAVE to. I’d like to change that but that isn’t my biggest problem. LOL. I do need to get organized though. Organization = less stress (for me).

I’m also conflicted with how Avon doesn’t fit into my life goals very much. I’m never going to stop being a rep as long as I have incoming income because it only costs 4.00 to stay “active”. And if I have to stop, I can start back up as long as I have good credit. But buying STUFF is not where I am. I used to buy 70% of my clothes/books/music used. I still rarely buy books and music. I get both used for the most part. But this past year I spent more on new clothes than I have in 5 years! So that must stop.

Back to Avon: I wanted to become a rep because I thought it might help with my social anxiety/ social ineptness etc. I wanted to have the option of hosting an Avon/Mark. party because what other kind of party will I EVER host? I have never had a birthday party. I don’t do parties so I do think for now that I should keep that option open. I’m more into Mark than Avon. (If you sell Avon, you can sell Mark too). Mark is geared towards teenagers and 20-somethings. That is what I know. I don’t dress like a fashionista but I know all the brands, the trends etc.

A couple of weeks ago, I was thinking about setting up a Mark party. It wouldn’t be a real party because I wasn’t going to have products. Of course I didn’t follow through for several reasons. Normal social people are having a problem finding Mark helpers (helpers sell for you – they get paid or a discount). Do I want to invest time into that right now? Nah. But I did want to see how I would interact with the teen crowd. Is it easier now? I couldn’t do it as a teen but I’m older now.

I’m not about stuff so yeah, “selling” Avon/Mark does seem hypocritical. The good thing is that I don’t have a lot of customers. So I’m not taking money. One woman at work buys $20 a month of Avon from me. She is my most consistent customer. Also Avon is cheap. Uh, Mark not so much (to me anyways).

I’ve stopped buying Avon for myself. No more jewelry…ever! I stopped that in April. I buy one pair of boots from Avon a year. That is worth it because the boots I like are in the $100-250 range, so Avon satisfies that itch much, much cheaper. Plus I get a discount. The only thing I allow myself to buy these days is deodorant and shower gels. And only when those things are on sale. I would buy their make up because it is good but I don’t wear it much. I only wear foundation on special occasions (last time: John Mayer concert). I would consider wearing it to work every once in a while but I never take it off before bed. And then my face breaks out. Instead of washing my face before bed I just don’t wear make up. LOL.

This entry wasn’t supposed to be about Avon, I swear. But I’m not done. Recently my Avon blog stats have gone up. And I’m thinking, “Well what am I supposed to do with this?” Since I’m not really into it, do I just stop the website? What if I could get a potential customer that way? I just know that I don’t want to be a promoter of stuff. Yet, I have an Avon blog….ummmm. Since I’m not making money, I don’t feel guilty or that conflicted. The only time when I feel unease is when I think, “Shouldn’t I be updating my blog? Shouldn’t I be trying to be successful at it?” In other words, WTF am I doing? Am I a total slacker at it or do I not care? And if I don’t care, why do I have an Avon/Mark blog plus a facebook page for it?

Also what is the difference between “selling” Avon and selling say, handmade jewelry? * Keep in mind, I’m not really selling anything because I don’t have customers. I used to sell handmade jewelry but my stuff sucked and I have to start all over again. (People did buy it, and I got compliments but that’s because it wasn’t expensive.) I’ve forgotten almost everything I’ve learned.

*Well the obvious difference is that the handmade jewelry is mine and somewhat unique but that’s not my point.

Just thinking aloud. Obviously….and no conclusion.

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