Little more personal (raw)

(I guess I have to preface this entry even though I don’t think anyone is reading. Um, if you are a normal person –lol- you will be fine. Seriously, I won’t put the P word in the tags so people won’t find it that way.)

OMG. Someone is going to get it for not telling me how much a pap fucking smear hurts! If I would have known that was going to happen (the test), I would never have gone to the doctor in the first place. And if I had to go to the doctor for some reason, I would have had stomach problems all day. ANXIETY. Serious stomach problems. I would not have slept at all.

No, I’m not having sex with a guy. C’mon! And the only woman I wish I could fuck (hah) is currently incarcerated. But she will get out and she will show all of you! I’m asexual, bitches.

(Yes Lindsay. Ignore the cigarette and lighter and admire that picture for its art. I love black and white photos. And look how they perfectly capture her wanting to escape being photographed. Ah, a lovely photo. My attraction to her is off and on. But she’s still the only one though…).

For the record, I’m still hurting right now. But don’t worry you social/sexual human beings or I should say just women. I’m pretty sure it won’t hurt you as much. FUCK.

Yes I cried. Not over Lindsay but the damn fucking pain.

No I don’t know when I’m supposed to get a pap. No I don’t know when my last period was. No I don’t know what size clothing I wear. When you are dealing with heavy mental shit, crap like that sorta falls by the wayside.

Seriously if I were having sex with a female, would I have to get a pap yearly?? My doctor who I actually liked (FWIW ) said I only “have to” get one once every 3 years. Uh-huh. That’s a great reason not to have sex. LOL. STDs is reason enough for me. And the grossness. Etc.

And another question: If they do pap smears in a regular doctor’s office, then what the fuck do OB-GYNs do? (Besides maternity stuff). I’m clueless. I know about Zoloft not this stuff.

Anyway, other than that shit, I think it went okay. My blood pressure is great. She said I was too thin but I gained 3 pounds in 2 months! I know why. Because when my dad was here for a month, I mostly ate processed food and some fast food.

She ran some tests. I really wanted to know if I have anemia and I have no idea if she tested for test. She said thyroid test (?) which may cover anemia. Once I told her my cat had anemia, I thought for sure she would draw my blood. No, I didn’t tell her about my cat’s condition but I do think we have it.

I’m definitely not going to the dentist after this experience unless I can be put under in a non-threatening way. I have no idea how anesthesia works at a dental office. I know they rarely use it but I would not consider going to someone who wouldn’t consider that an option.

Oh well. I have a lot of work to do. I’m sure Lindsay is doing fine.


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