coward

I’m not drinking any soda this weekend. Sort of a mini cleanse. I wanted to eat only fruit and drink water/Gatorade but I don’t have any fruit. Every time I buy fruit, some of it ruins. I’m going to the grocery store tomorrow.

Btw, I’m not feeling any different from not drinking soda so far. lol. I just feel the same. It’s not helping my digestive system much either. When it comes to that I feel screwed.

Unlike most social situations, I don’t feel bad about the Jx situation. I usually beat myself up. Why did I say anything? Why did I let my emotions get the best of me? etc. etc. But I wasn’t pissed off, when I said what I said. And I don’t feel bad for listening to her phone conversation. She was talking loud but she didn’t know I was there.

Jx did tell people what happened. What a shocker!! Whatev. My only issue is with myself. I know that if anyone else was there, I would not have said anything. If Dx had said those same things, I probably wouldn’t have said anything. I hate to admit this but I’m scared of Dx.

I need to work on saying stuff to people. Groups of people. ARGH. I’m so far from that. Forget that. I’m not going there. But I do feel a bit like a coward because I would not have spoken up if it were Dx. The scary, bullying, self confident, ass kissing (to boss, only) Dx.

hmmm.

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