I retweeted this article but I have to post excerpts here. It’s written by the uber cool Lisa Hymas. It is soooooooo awesome. 🙂
Childfree people tread too gingerly around parents, as though we might wound their feelings if we told the truth about why we’ve made different decisions than they have. But we insult them by thinking they’re so fragile or insecure about their family choices—and we shortchange ourselves and society at large by not speaking openly about the legitimate choice to not have a child.
Once again people think everything is about them! HELLO? This is my thing, my life, & my decision. I knew posting this article would piss off some “friends” so I’m not going to do it. Some people are insecure about choices…I am about a few of mine.
I am thoroughly delighted by the fact that the most humane thing for me to do is to have no children at all.
Word. And knowing this with every fiber of my being is comforting. It is the only thing I know for sure.
If being a parent is something you’ve longed and planned for, or already embarked upon, I respect your choice and I wish you luck. Go forth and raise happy, healthy kids. May they bring you joy and fulfillment, and may they become productive members of society who faithfully pay their Social Security taxes.
Of course, you parents and parent wannabes don’t need my encouragement—our society supports your decision overwhelmingly.
Yep go for it. I do think the encouragement is unnecessary. What if the person/couple can’t have kids? People don’t need the pressure. We don’t know the person’s situation. Some people don’t want kids…and thei “encouragement” is annoying (and sometimes rude).
Yes, as a childfree person, I’ll miss out on a lot: The miracle of childbirth (though, truth be told, I don’t feel so bad about skipping that one). The hilariously perceptive things that only kids say. A respectable excuse for rereading the Harry Potter series. The hope that my kid will be smarter and cooler and better looking than I ever was. More boisterous holiday celebrations. Someone to carry on the family name (assuming I won the arm-wrestling match with my partner over whose name the kid would actually get). Maybe even the satisfaction of helping a child grow into a well-educated, well-adjusted adult, and the peace of mind of knowing there’s someone to take care of me in my old age.
I have a problem with the last sentence. That is no guarantee. Look around and the last thing I would want is to be a burden to my kid! The miracle of childbirth? What about hours of agonizing pain? No, thank you. I’d would like to skip 100% of things on that list. Those aren’t the only “good” things, right? The tax breaks need to be added. That’s a good thing.
If you’re intentionally childfree, how many times have you been asked, “So, when are you going to have children?” and mumbled a less-than-candid reply: “Oh, I’m not sure,” or “Well, it just might not happen for us,” or “Maybe someday …” when what you really mean is “Never.”
What would happen if you answered the kid question honestly? “No, I’m happy with my life as is,” or “A child doesn’t fit into our life plans,” or “Kids aren’t really my thing,” or “I think there are plenty of people on the planet already.”
I don’t have a problem telling the truth when asked a question especially one as presumptuous as that. I had to laugh at the latter paragraph. “Kids aren’t really my thing,” is how I naturally talk. lol. Now I have the strong urge to say that out loud. Most people are presumptuous enough to not ask ME about having kids. 😉
The comments to the article are worth reading. BTW, the article is about how not having kids is good for the planet. It isn’t a “yay, I don’t have kids” article. Also check out her response article: Debunking the “you’d be a great green parent” argument