meet my dad?

Rule#1 You don’t ask an introvert to stay at their house for a month! Even if you are going to be “mostly out of town”! AHHHHHHHHH

Just when I thought, it couldn’t be any worse. FUCK. Parents. LOL. OMG. This is a joke…until it happens. “Sure you can stay but now I gotta find a place to stay.” My god. What am I supposed to do. My house is not livable for me and my cat much less another human being. I DON’T CLEAN. And I won’t start for you. (ohh! Bitch).

My ultimate nightmare. I don’t cook or clean. This could not be more awkward. My dad has never asked me outright if he can stay with me before…until yesterday through email. The last time I was living in an apartment. The bedroom was free so it wouldn’t have been that big of deal. I tend to nest in one room. I went from living in my parents house to a dorm room to a studio apartment. I haven’t gotten the more than one room thing down yet.

Btw, my dad lives out of the country (can I live with you, for real??? – ;p) right now.

So not the freakin point. Awkward position. Fuck. I’d give him money for food (restuarant) but no person can LIVE with me. I’m a bachelor. My house is a bachelor pad. (Yes I am a girl but trust me, I live like a guy). And then my cat. If she escapes, someone is going to die.

fuck. I don’t want to say NO even though that is what I want to say. It is what makes me comfortable. And trust me, he would be more comfortable living elsewhere. It will be so awkward. I’m going to have to probably work the weirdest hours possible. If they offer overtime (lol), I will be living at work.

I need time to think about this. I don’t like when people spring things on me and I let people know this. Don’t ask me anything the day of. THE ANSWER WILL BE NO. But this is June…maybe he will change his mind. (pleasepleaseplease). I don’t want to say no but if we become more estranged, I’m not going to blame myself.

We are estranged. We don’t talk. I only talk to one person in the world.

whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy? My house is not equipped for this. FUCK. I would be much more angry if I didn’t have time to see if I could find him somewhere to sleep. I sleep in the living room so NO that is not where you can sleep, dad. 🙂 This would’ve been much better in the apartment. My house is soooo small and I have no storage. I use my bedroom as a storage/clothes space. He can’t sleep in the cat room and he wouldn’t want to. So what do I do?

This is a disaster…waiting to happen. As long as he doesn’t expect *anything* it will be a little less of a diaster.

Even if I got married, I wouldn’t live with the person. Jeez.


loner anxious introvert


I got a ticket to see John Mayer. 8th row. woofreakinhoo! who cares now? not me. blah. I’ll try to post some better stuff in the future. I was supposed to start my Buddhism series in this blog but I got distracted by my lack of a TV (huh?). I will start on Monday or Tuesday of this week.

Yes the normal enlightened person or on the path to enlightenment would say “yes” (and have some doubts/fears) but not a socially anxious one. LOL. Every self help book needs to add a chapter for people afraid of people.  I ‘m trying to get on the path of enlightenment but I’m sitting at the starting line by myself with a little knowledge and zero tools. That is the best way to sum that up.

I can’t say no……….I won’t.


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