breathe breathe breathe

I know I should be happy just to have health insurance but I see the $25 price hike for mental health providers as inequality. We all know there is a stigma about mental illness. To make it harder just seems wrong to me. I know people without insurance have to pay about $150 just to see a regular doctor. G-d, help them if they need a specialist or additional care. I guess that is why so many just go to the ER…Some don’t even make it there. I won’t go on a tangent about that.

Btw, I did email my insurance company to complain. I got a response but I haven’t read it. I’m scared that I might try or feel worse. I was so upset when I found out that I can’t take a “suck it up”. I’m sure the email doesn’t say that but it may as well.

Despite the office being closed for a holiday, I worked 3 hours today. It won’t be overtime for me since I’m off for an almost 4 day weekend but even an extra few dollars is better than nothing, right? Besides I did it because:

1. We don’t have a lot of overtime opportunities (mostly due to the current economy)

2. Even though I won’t see much change in my paycheck, more $ will go to my 401k* since that is pre-taxed.

3. Sometimes I just need to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

I also went to the gym after work. I feel quite accomplished. 🙂  I was a little depressed or overwhelmed yesterday. I should never had done that to-do list. I did do some of it but I know me and I know that pressure overwhelms me. Ugh, I just wasted so much time feeling like crap. Yes I wish I could do things I feel a normal 29 year old could do. But it ain’t happening.

Instead of that crappy bio, I’m thinking of writing down new things I’ve done in 2010 under the courageous badge. Going to work and the gym on a holiday while SOMEONE ELSE WAS THERE, seems like it should go under that. I had to get up from my desk to breathe. I really need to breathe when other people are around but I haven’t been able to do that yet.

*401k – I don’t know why I care about this. I’m pretty sure I won’t be alive to use it. I think my reasoning is: Don’t save anything extra for retirement (because I’ll be dead) but put money in my 401k because the company matches it. So why not?


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