raw

If you are human, you will find this entry offensive.

Today was supposed to be internet free day but that’s all fucked up. If I were on a diet today would be the day I eat a whole cake…or a bunch of doughnuts.

They took my money. IT WAS INTEREST FREE UNTIL AUGUST yet chase credit card took my money. If it wasn’t interest free, I’d be relieved to get rid of any debt but I was making payments so I could be done by August. IT WAS FREE money, now it’s all gone. fuck you. (I turned off automatic payments last month, I didn’t see any indication I would have to do this every month.

I wish that were my only problem. lol. I wish.

And seeing the devastation of Haiti doesn’t change my perceptions of my problems. I gave $$ within 48 hours of the earthquake so stop asking for it. (offended yet?) I’ve read books about the poorest nations and I’ve wished I was born there. Life is simple. I probably wouldn’t have social anxiety & if I did would it even matter?

Living there now, probably wouldn’t have the same effect. Once you’ve been Americanized….If I didn’t have a mortgage nearly impossible to get rid of, I’d considered going to a ‘poor’ country. If that didn’t work out, I would have to kill myself. but I’ve tried & that didn’t work. too much of a coward.

Those people have a lot more than I do. If you have/had social society/depression, you may know what I’m talking about. Otherwise your appalled. DOESN’T SHE KNOW WHAT SHE HAS?

tell me, tell me what the fuck I have??????????????

What people (including me), don’t get is that if you don’t have human relationships, you have nothing. Nothing. So yes the people in any other country has more than me. They have the ability to give love, respect, friendship etc. All I can give is $$

Those people are richer than me.

this entry came out of me asking for help & not receiving shit. lol. I never ask for anything because I’m scared of rejection and when I do ask I get………..weird responses. Responses from a person who doesn’t get it. A person who would never understand why I would want to live in a poorer nation. 😦

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