I have to blog it out.

So I’m used to people trying to get me fired. They usually hope since they don’t have the power. I’m always mystified by this because I never talk and can be easily ignored. (I wish I could say that about them). Anyhow, I think TO might be actively trying to do it. I don’t know for sure. I’ve heard her talking…

I’m calm about this b/c whatever happens will happen. I’m just going to continue to do my work and not stress about it like I would have in the past. I will spend less money, I’m really only spending on Avon.
Speaking of Avon, starting in October, late September really, I will only spend $30 a month on Avon. I would say ‘hopefully less after the holidays’ but that’s pretty pessimistic. I might get new customers. There is a chance I may be going out to SELL in person. I’m not doing it alone. I don’t want to look like an ass…I have to make a call tomorrow night. If I do this I will have more customers or it could just be a good learning op. 🙂

As far as social anxiety goes, I would like to approach one person a week with a “Do you want a brochure?” type line. I was going to do it on Sunday but the person inside the gas station was a guy. I know a more um, social person could have worked that but I sorta froze as in, “fuck, a guy!”. It was so obviously awkward. It would’ve been smart to just leave but I actually brought a snack and wasted my cash. I rarely carry cash so to lose it sucks.
Going back to the work situation a little bit:

Clearly they don’t read my blog or know me at all. I’m not impressed by MATERIAL things. I live on less on purpose. I rarely buy new clothes etc. But could I? Yes. I am all about wanting inner peace. Material things don’t bring inner peace.

I am jealous of people who are good in social situations. Why? um, because that’s EVERYTHING. Simple as that. People take their social skills for granted because they didn’t work for them. It was handed to them. And guess what. SOMEONE FORGOT MY FUCKING SHARE.

And yes by Thursday/Friday I’m about to kill people. I cannot tolerate being around people that much. It’s called introversion…and maybe bad nerves? We sit too cllose together. I can’t breathe without someone hearing.

The fact that I even have to explain this* says something doesn’t it?

*as if they are reading my blog

No, I’m not jealous of your stuff b/c anyone can have it (for the most part). There are a lot of nice I could have but I slept on it and thought, “Will this lead me to freedom/inner peace?” Usually the answer is NO. Sometimes I do wish I had that timeshare…but right now, I’m so glad that I don’t owe them any money! Why would I want to have more chains?

I’m a hippie without the love of people. I believe in things being simplistic.

They would know all this if they actually knew me but I guess it is more fun to gossip and speculate.


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