If I really meant it

I think I’m going to talk to my shrink about weaning myself off Abilify. My copay has already gone up, and it is going up more in January. I can’t afford to be depressed, but I’m willing to take a chance.

Thanks, Obama! Most people’s health insurance costs are going up. I don’t blame the health insurance companies. The Affordable Care Act is really putting them in a tough spot. There are so many benefits to “Obamacare” so I’m for it, but there are drawbacks as well.

If I were voting for my interests only, I would not vote for Clinton in November. But I consider everyone when ¬†I vote so I’m ¬†voting for her. Not that she’ll get much done. I still don’t know how I’m going to vote locally. I have more research to do.

Anyway, I see my shrink next month. I hope I don’t get depressed. I literally mean I can’t afford it. I have to be able to work two jobs. I’m already slow at my part-time job. I’m doing about 20% of what I’m supposed to be doing. I hope they are taking into consideration that I’m new and ¬†I work full time.

I chose to take two days off at my full-time job so I could possibly take the board exam in early December. lol. Um, I’m so not ready. At this point, I’ll probably take the exam in March. I already paid for the test, so that’s not an issue. I can’t believe ¬†I thought would be ready in December. Oh well.

This week I…

Music of the week: JoJo, Jess Glynne, Solange, Britney Spears, Ellie Goulding, Lady Gaga, Alessia Cara, Frank Ocean,

I had to really listen to Solange’s lyrics to fall in love with her album. All of her albums are solid. So far I still love her first album the most. JoJo’s album is also good. I just adore her voice. I’m so glad she can make music again. I was not expecting to like the new Lady Gaga album, but I enjoy it so far.

TV of the week:  Survivor, presidential debate.

I enjoyed the debate, but I still fell asleep during it. I’m glad the debates are over. I hope this election will be over quickly.

Movie of the week: none

Book of the week: I’m almost done with¬†The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Annonymous. Now I have to do the work with the steps. I just started reading The Things We Wish Were True by Marybeth Mayhew Whalen

Planner update: coming later this weekend

Plans for the Weekend: Grocery shopping, working on my certification class and working my part-time job. My main goal is to get as much work done as possible.

Thanks for reading!ūüôā

Don’t be killing my vibe

ROFL! My check on¬†October 15th will be for $40! hahaha. I was planning on paying off debt and opening a new savings account for taxes. Um, nope. I didn’t know I was only being paid for work done during September. Thanks for telling me. I was in training during September. That is why my paycheck is so low.

This made me realize how much I NEED the money. Now I have to wait until November 15 to really get paid.ūüė¶ The good thing is that I will be getting a much bigger paycheck¬†next month no matter what.

I need to work my ass off until October 31. My therapist suggested ¬†I take a day off once a week. That’s laughable. I can’t afford to take a day off.¬†Days off are for people who can afford it. ¬†Once I reach my money goals (could take a couple of years), then I will rest. I need to work while I can. It’s not like this PT job is year round work. The company has down time.

Rest is a luxury…but I will continue taking my daily nap.ūüėČ That can’t go away.

I recently found out that my insurance company won’t pay for Abilify the same way anymore starting in 2017. I get it for a really low copay now, so I understand. I’m confused about what this really means. I guess I can get the generic¬†version, but I think my copay will still¬†go up. That sucks. I just want to be able to get it still somehow.

Prior to Abilify, I couldn’t get out of bed at one point. I could go to work, and that’s about it. I was really depressed. Abilify saved my life! I’m scared to go off it even though I might not need it. I would rather pay more money for it than risk it.

This week I…

Music of the week: Jess Glynne, Jojo, Solange, Andra Day, Little Mix, Ariana Grande, Frank Ocean

Song of the week by Jess Glynne

I’m so late with Jess Glynne. Where have I been?? I have no idea. Liking the new JoJo and Solange. I haven’t listened to either enough to have a strong opinion.

TV of the week:  Survivor, presidential debate.

Movie of the week: ¬†I finished the¬†Amanda Knox documentary. I don’t know whether she’s guilty or not. I know it sounds bad to say I don’t care, but I don’t lose sleep over it. I don’t understand the fascination with this case, and I’m a true crime person aficionado.

Book of the week: Still reading The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Annonymous¬†I’m only 23% through it.

Plans for the Weekend: Um, work. I only have to go out on Sunday to pick up my prescriptions. I plan to get a lot of school work done and work at my PT job.

Gotta get back to work. Hopefully, I can have a dance party later tonight like I did last night even though I was so tired.

Have a fun weekend!ūüôā

I’m finally tasting alone

re: part-time job

Woohoo! I’m done with training! Of course, I still feel like I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. They will be auditing me like crazy because I’m new. That makes me nervous.

We get paid on the 15th of every month. My paycheck for October 15th will be small since I was in training. As of right now, my check will be a little over $135. But since I’m off for 5 days (counting the weekend), I plan to work like crazy. Maybe I can get it to $200?? I just wish I felt more secure.

I’m also working on my certification class. I got up early this morning and worked on that. Then I took my dog to the vet. Thankfully everything went well, but I have to take him back in three weeks for a booster shot. Bummer.

I was considering going to see The Girl on the Train¬†during my “vacay,” but the reviews have been pretty bad. Not horrible, but I think I can wait for it. I also considered going to see The Birth of a Nation¬†but once again, the critics killed it for me. I can wait for that too. I guess I’m just not a going to the movies person anymore. There is still a small chance I might see The Girl on the Train tomorrow. The fans seem to like it more than the critics.

I’ll be back later.


Don’t be so hard on yourself

Hurricane season sucks!ūüė¶ I’m not personally affected this time (except for rain). Hurricanes and tropical storms are the worst part about living on the east coast. I can’t imagine what Haiti, Florida, etc. are going through.

Everything is kicking my ass. What else is new? ¬†lol. The good news is that I have three days off next week! YAY! I’m going to spend most of that time working my PT job and doing school work. I’m also planning on taking my dog to the vet for a check up, and I might go to the movies to see¬†The Girl on the Train.

The part-time job is sooo hard, and I’m just in training. I have my fears. What if I don’t make it out of training? They could decide I’m too slow and let me go. I don’t have as much experience as any of the other people. I was told this during the interview. They don’t usually hire people with no real on the job experience.

I don’t know. I’m up and down with this job. I can’t really say much without revealing what I’m doing.

Ugh, I feel sick. I don’t know if it is allergies or what. I might be working too hard and not getting enough sleep. One day this week, my dog woke me up at 3:45 AM for a walk, and when I got back I couldn’t fall asleep, so I started working at my PT job until 6. Then I had breakfast and went to my FT job. ¬†Then I took a nap, had dinner and went back to working at my PT job until bedtime.

The good thing is that both of these jobs are at home. That’s my saving grace.

This week I…

Music of the week: Jess Glynne, Solange, Britney Spears,  Brooklyn Duo, Ellie Goulding, Little Mix, Lukas Graham, Lauren Aquilina,

TV of the week:  Survivor,  vice presidential debate

Yes, Kaine was annoying during the debate. He is never like that. He was acting, and it showed (at least to people who know of him). But Pence and his lies…how can people say he won when they know he was lying? Just because he was more composed? ick. I hate when the media talks about who won a debate. But this is how it goes.

Movie of the week:¬†I didn’t finish¬†Steve Jobs¬†(yet). I did finish watching Audrie and Daisy. So sad. It’s a documentary about sexual assault. That is all I’ll say. I’m halfway through the Amanda Knox documentary. I do plan on finishing that. I had to stop because I watch these movies during slow times at work and there are subtitles. I can’t work and read subtitles. So I’ll finish it this weekend.

Book of the week: Still reading The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Annonymous¬†I will get back into reading. I’ve been slacking when it comes to finishing books. I’ve been using a¬†lack of time as an excuse, but I can make the time.

Plans for the Weekend:¬†I have to take my mom to the grocery store on Saturday. We might go out to eat afterwards. I’m not sure where we are going. ¬†Other than that, I will focus on my certification course and my part-time job.

Enjoy your weekend!ūüôā


Ain’t got far to go


I went to the Washington Wizards practice yesterday. It was fun. There was a dunk contest, live music, and I got a free Wizards t-shirt for being there early. Bradley Beal wasn’t there because he recently had a concussion, but John Wall was there. I loved seeing him in person for the first time. ¬†I don’t have high expectations for this Wizards team this year. But I’m going to try to watch every game (AKA have the game on in the background). I hope they make the playoffs. Anything other than that would be considered a failure.


John Wall and the Wizards

I could have attended an autograph session since I got there early, but I woke up at 4 AM to work so I was not excited about spending more time there. But now, I wish I would’ve stayed. I’m not sure who was autographing what. They didn’t say. They just handed me a wristband.

Counting this month, I only have four months left to pay for my car. ::crossing fingers:: Anything could happen. I’m not an optimist. I hope this works out. I need that extra money.

I should be getting my free (from work) blood pressure monitor in a week or two. The reviews on Amazon are mixed. I went from a couple of years of prehypertension to regular blood pressure overnight so I will have NO IDEA whether the reading is right or not. Maybe I should have chosen something else to get, but I really wanted this…but not if it doesn’t work right. Well, it’s free so I’m getting it.

This week I…

Music of the week: Jess Glynne, Solange, Brooklyn Duo, Ellie Goulding, Demi Lovato, Carly Rae Jepsen, Rihanna, Ariana Grande

TV of the week:  Survivor, presidential debate

I hope Kaine kills it in the vice presidential debate on Tuesday. I’m nervous for him. lol. I thought the first presidential debate was boring. I wish Lester Holt were able to ask more questions. He didn’t seem to want to interrupt them. I thought Trump wouldn’t show up to a second debate; now I’m not so sure. I think he might try to redeem himself by saying nasty things about Clinton while she’s on the stage.

I just saw Ivanka Trump saying the most important job a woman can have is being a mother. GAG ME NOW!! Oh god. I can’t. I won’t. Just stop.

Movie of the week:¬†I’m halfway through Steve Jobs. So far, I find the movie average. I might not finish it. I haven’t been to the movie theatre in so long. It has been years. I have 3 days off in October. I’m planning on going to see The Girl on the Train¬†if the reviews are decent. I LOVED the book so I have high standards.

¬†Books of the week: Haven’t had much time to read.¬†¬†I‚Äôm still reading. You‚Äôre a Badass by¬†Jen Sincero. I purchased and started The Twelve¬†and Twelve traditions of Overeaters Annonymous.¬†

Planner update: I haven’t posted a planner update because I stopped using stickers. But I’ve still been using my planner religiously. Here are this week’s plans in my Erin Condren planner:


Very plain but it works well.

Plans for the Weekend:¬†Well, being that it is Saturday afternoon…I have worked at my part-time job. I woke up at 6 AM to get that done. Now I want to focus on my certification class for the remainder of the weekend. I’m having multiple dancing parties this weekend.ūüôā I finally have a little free time. It’s crazy that most of my work takes place during the week when I have two jobs. I would rather work on my PT job on the weekend, but since I’m still in training, I don’t have the freedom to do that.

Have a nice rest of the weekend. I’m opening my LeTote box on Snapchat today or tomorrow.

work work work work work

The OA sponsor thing didn’t work out. We talked on the phone on Monday. She only takes calls at 10 AM, and that doesn’t work for me. I would want to take daily calls at ¬†6:30 PM or later. That is the only time that works daily.

I don’t think I’m going to look for a sponsor anytime soon. Having to make four calls a day (including the sponsor) is too much for me right now. I’m working two jobs; I’m taking a class plus I have a somewhat high maintenance dog. I have to rearrange my schedule around my dog so yes, that is a big deal.

I’ve never had so much to do in my life…and I’m grateful! I do get a nap in just about every day so it can’t be that bad. There is no way I could function if I didn’t nap after my day job. Napping rests my brain and allows me to focus on my PT job or school work. As of right now, calling the second job a part-time is a joke. I’m so slow (since I know so little), it takes me forever to finish work, and I feel like I have two full-time jobs. I hope I get faster soon.

The certification course is on a back burner. I don’t even have time to think about it.

It looks like I am going to the Washington Wizards practice on Friday afternoon even though I should be working at my part-time job. I need a break and to get out of the house.

Done being done

OMG! I might have an Overeaters Anonymous sponsor!!! I texted her, and she told me to call on Sunday, but she didn’t say what time. ugh. I mentioned a time in my initial text to her so I’ll call her at that time. I hope that’s okay.

That was so freaking brave of me! LOL. My therapist gave me the push. I told her I had to do it, and she agreed. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! This is so scary.

Why do I need a sponsor? Because I still can’t fight the urge to order delivery. Well, today I was going to do it, and I talked myself out of it, but it isn’t like that every day. I don’t want to regain my weight and who wants to feel addicted to anything? I don’t. So I’m trying to get in front of the problem…for once in my life.

I will also binge on sweets which isn’t a daily problem because I don’t keep sweets in my house.

I do have a fear that my problem will seem “not bad enough” because I don’t have weight to lose, but she has probably been around enough to know that weight isn’t the only issue. Any person who has gone to an OA meeting in person knows there are people of all sizes there. I’ve never been, but she probably has.

Now I just need a Debtors Anonymous sponsor. That probably won’t happen within the next 60 days. I’m trying to manage this on my own. I’m doing okay (besides when I order food). The main problem is that my bills are high, and I’m not making enough. But two things are changing: My car payments will stop in a few months, and I now have a part-time job.

Speaking of my part-time job: I finally heard back from them. I had to do more training, and now I’m ready to work. Well, I don’t feel ready, but they are going to give me work. I’m waiting for yet another email. Well, now I know they are slow, so I might not get a response until late next week.

The Washington Wizards are having an open practice on this upcoming Friday. At first, I was going for sure. Now I’m not sure. I haven’t seen the Wizards in person in about five years. ¬†John Wall might not be there due to an injury.ūüė¶ That would be my main reason for going since I’ve never seen him play or practice. Do I want to spend 90 minutes on a Friday evening watching basketball? I think I do. hmmm.

This week I…

Music of the week: Frank Ocean, Britney Spears, Brooklyn Duo, Ariana Grande, Carly Rae Jepsen, Kelly Clarkson, Ingrid Michaelson, Rihanna

I adore Brooklyn Duo’s version of Beyonce’s “Pray You Catch Me.”

I love the cello. I always wanted to play the strings, but I played three years of clarinet instead. I wish Brooklyn Duo would do Beyonce’s whole album. This song is so good. Trust me. Listen to it!

TV of the week:  Big Brother, Survivor

I was shocked by who won Big Brother! Shocked. I’m okay with the winner, though. The person could be annoying at times. That’s the only negative¬†thing I have to say.

Movie of the week: none

Books of the week:¬†Still reading¬†Sex Object¬†by Jessica Valenti. I’m almost done. The book is okay. It is a memoir. She had a lot of sex and did a lot of cocaine. That is how I would summarize the book. It is what it is. ¬†I chose to read it because I’m a ¬†fan of Jessica. I‚Äôm still reading¬†You‚Äôre a Badass by¬†Jen Sincero.

Plans for the Weekend: Grocery shopping, working on my certification course, training for my part-time job. Right now this is my life. I expect to start working for pay next week. I will be so nervous about the sponsor thing. Breathe.

Have a fun weekend!ūüôā