Know there’s something better

Today is my 12-year anniversary at my job! I’m shocked that anyone even hired me. And I managed to stay 12 years??! Unbelievable. lol. I was promoted once. I know that isn’t good enough for most people, but I don’t know of anywhere else I want to go within the company, so I’m good.

“She has a nice blouse on. Something just doesn’t make sense.”

Someone said that about me while I was walking my dog at the park! ROFL. Obviously, he has seen me at the park before. Otherwise, his comment doesn’t make sense. Sometimes I wear a t-shirt to the park. Sometimes I wear pajamas (the benefit of working from home and having the park right around the corner). Sometimes I wear something nice, usually something from Stitch Fix. On that particular day, I was wearing a blouse from Kohls. I know this because I’ve only been to Kohls once.

Who gives a fuck what I wear to the park? I’m trying to exercise and tire my dog out. 😉 I will wear whatever. I see men shirtless, and I get jealous. Why can’t I go shirtless? Must be nice.

I’m getting a Stitch Fix box on Thursday. I will probably do an entry on it early next week. I already peeked on the app, and I  really like 4 out of 5 things. So I will probably keep everything to get the 25% off discount. It depends on how things fit. One thing is a purse. I saw a video of it, and I fell in love with it. I hope I like it in person.

Apparently, I’m not anemic. But is that because I’ve been taking iron supplements? I think so. The nurse said my iron levels were fine. I’m going to keep taking the iron even though it doesn’t make me feel any better. 😦

I didn’t hear back about the job which is fine. Like I said, I’m not in the mood for a job interview. Well, I never really like them. But I just don’t see the point of going on a job interview for a job I don’t qualify for.

UPDATE: I just applied for a work at home job based in DC. This job I mostly qualify for. I don’t expect to hear back. People go crazy for remote jobs. They will get thousands of applications.

For the record, I’m going to wear my Washington Wizards t-shirt to the park today. I hope nobody has a problem with it.


Can’t kill my spirit

Apparently, I’m anemic. I’m always so tired unless I have caffeine and then I’m okay for about 30 minutes. I knew this all along. But it took a while for the doctors to figure it out. Anyway, I’m waiting for more lab results. If my iron is low again,  I would have to take two iron pills instead of one. And then get tested again.

Someone emailed me about a job. Oh fuck. I don’t feel like doing interviews right now. This job would be more money than I make now and since I have these things called bills, how can I not even interview for it? blah. I’m thinking about it. I don’t seem qualified, but he contacted me. I have to respond, right? Sigh. I’ll email him tomorrow once I figure out what to say. lol.

I do have one of the certifications he wants, but most of the other things, uh I haven’t ever heard of those duties so no I don’t have the experience that is required. I will say auditing is involved in the job. My ultimate goal is to be an auditor in this field. I would say a teacher or an auditor, but teaching seems to involve so much more talking, so I’m a little freaked out by the idea.

We got another update about part-time work. It is supposed to start next week. At this point, since there is so much going on, I don’t mind waiting for two weeks for the work to start. I need time to BREATHE.

I still don’t know when the home inspection will be. It must be at the very end of August. So much for the two-week notice? I’m still stressing out about it. I’m off today and tomorrow. My mom will help me get everything in order tomorrow. Fun times. I was so excited to have these two days off, and now I’m stressed.

Good news! I just got my fall/winter PTO approved. I have a full week off in October, and I somehow managed to get election day off!! Yay! We are voting for governor, so I expect it to be a little busy. It won’t be like 2020 or anything. And I snagged 3 days in a row off in mid-December.

I still haven’t gotten my textbook so even if I wanted to start the course, I couldn’t. I’m so sick of calling and emailing people about doing their jobs. I feel like that is all I’ve been doing lately. I also need another book for the course from another store, and they sent me the WRONG BOOK.  Ugh. They won’t send me the right book until they receive the wrong book and they won’t send the shipping label. Blah, blah, blah. I’m so done. Anyhow, with PT work and FT work, I don’t think I will be that engaged in the course for a few weeks.

Depo-Provera update: “I thought Depo-Provera was supposed to stop your period,” said my doctor. ROFLMAO. What universe is she living in? Yeah, ideally that is how it is supposed to work. Now it seems like I’m heavily bleeding 3 days a week. It used to be every day for 3 months straight so how can I complain? But the heavy days suck. I don’t even feel like walking my dog to the park, but I do.

My PCP also said Depo-Provera is used to stop periods “and for other things, of course.” Uh, nope. Not for me. I am only on DP for one reason, and that is to be period-free! It will happen one day. Maybe soon.

This week I…

Music of the week: Paula Cole, Ke$ha, Joseph, Brooklyn Duo, Kelly Clarkson, Halsey, Bethany Dillion, Grace

One day, I need to post about what music I really grew up on. I said I grew up listening to Linkin Park, but I was in my early 20s  (college years and beyond) when I really got into them. I mention this because I was going to say I grew up listening to Paula Cole and I did! I was in my teenage years listening to her and Jewel. Jewel saved my life as much as music can. I also listened to TLC and Aaliyah during those teenage years. I could go on and maybe one day I will.

TV of the week: Big Brother, The Keepers

I’ve also been watching court trials. I go through phases where I’m obsessed with trials. I just finished the Baby Doe case, and now I’m watching another case where a father might have killed his son. But everyone should have kids, right? sigh. In the Baby Doe case, I don’t think the man killed Bella. I think the mother did it and maybe both of them hid the body. I’m not even sure he had anything to do with it. That whole case was sad. Well, I find most cases sad and frustrating. I have a lot to say about the so called justice system. Don’t get me started! 😉

Movie of the week: None

Books of the week: I finished reading The Fact of a Body: A Murder and a Memoir by Alexandria Marzano-Lesnevich. I thought it went on a little too much, but otherwise, it was a good read. 4 stars.

Now reading:

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren


Plans for the Weekend: Making sure everything is perfect for the home inspection. 😦 This is a big house (for me), and my dog is constantly making a mess, so it won’t be perfect. He is just supposed to check the appliances. Yeah, right. I’m trying to give this ‘problem’ to the Universe and not get too stressed. I have been better about it recently, but it is still kind of weighing on me.

I don’t have plans for Saturday and Sunday. I’m trying to do everything on Friday, but I don’t know if that is going to happen. My mom and I going out to eat on Friday after we get the house ready for inspection. I just checked my planner, and I have nothing listed for Saturday (yet). That should be a good thing, right? On Sunday I have one thing I want to do.

I just really want tomorrow (Friday) to be the end of getting the house in shape.

Well, now I have to think of what I want to say to the guy who liked my resume. Tomorrow is going to be so busy, so I don’t want to wait until then to come up with an email. I should work on it tonight and have it mostly ready by tomorrow morning. He told me I could call or email. Of course, I’m emailing. I hope he doesn’t want to talk tomorrow. I’m going to be cleaning and then going out to eat in the afternoon. No time to really talk. Well, I can take a break from cleaning. As long as I’m home, I can talk.

Maybe something will come out of this. I just feel so unqualified. I think I even saw that job posted and thought, “I wish I could apply for this job, but I don’t have enough experience.” I just skipped over it after reading a few of the requirements.

Enough about the job. I’m going now. So much to do.

Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂

I’d rather walk alone

I’m so sick of hearing about the damn eclipse. I’m not looking at it. I don’t care. blah.

I’ve been renting this house for at least 4 years. Maybe 5. My landlord has NEVER once been here for an inspection. Now he wants to do quarterly inspections. WTF? I understand annual inspections. Isn’t that normal? I have no idea. Anyway, he owns a lot of properties, so I think something came up somewhere so now he gets the bright idea to do inspections.

This wouldn’t be a big deal if the first inspection wouldn’t be THIS MONTH. ugh. Kill me now. I have to paint one spot. Well, my mom will paint it since she enjoys painting. I don’t know when the inspection is taking place. I’m supposed to get a 2-week notice. Well, we are in mid-August, and I haven’t received an inspection date yet.

I’m so worried because he is doing the inspections to see if he needs to increase the rent. I’m already paying A LOT. I’m just hoping the inspection goes well. After the first inspection, I will know what to expect, and hopefully, the others won’t be so bad.

In summary, this inspection situation is overwhelming me and stressing me out.

I really wanted to see Marianne Williamson. She came to Charlottesville on Sunday at 1 PM. Short notice, of course. Everyone is acting all shocked that something like this could happen and I’m not surprised at all. I’m sorry 3 people died. I didn’t expect that to happen in that way. I don’t think anyone did.

But this isn’t shocking at all. It’s so weird the way people are covering it. I’m pretty sure the same thing will happen near where I live next month. I hope no one is seriously hurt. All these people coming from out of state and messing things up. Argh. However, if Marianne Williamson comes to a church, I will go for sure this time.

Yes, racists exist. I’m shocked!!! And all of them don’t show up to rallies.

Update: The rally here was canceled. But that is not the end of this.

I’m just really stressed about the inspection.  Gotta go.


Dreaming is free

Oops! I did it again.  I signed up for a certification course. If I pass, this will be my THIRD certification. I will have a lot of letters after my name. I’m not taking the test until September 2018. So I have a lot of time to take the course and study before I take the exam. I have a career plan all worked out in my head with this certification, but who knows what will happen.

I had to sign up. This was a special price ($300 off). Plus, they threw in a free textbook! They never do that. I hope I can still make it to Kripalu next May since I spent a lot on the course. I have the flight covered. I’m just a little concerned about room and board.

I just knew we weren’t getting a bonus this quarter. But we are!! YAY. It isn’t thousands or even a thousand dollars. But I need all the help I can get so I’m happy.

What else is making me happy? I have occasionally been driving my dog to the park near us. Well, now I found a shortcut that doesn’t involve a car. All I have to do is walk to the park. It is less than a 5-minute walk from my house!! How could I not know that after living here for over 4 years? Don’t ask. We have been going daily after I get off of work. How awesome is that? I love it. Of course, my dog wants to stay for hours, but we only stay for about 15 minutes on weekdays. On the weekend, I plan to stay longer.

My dad is coming back to the United States. This time for good. 😦 He went back overseas for 2 months, and now he is coming back this weekend. Just to be clear, the sad face is because he is going to be living with my mom. So when I take her to the store, he has to go too. I hate driving “strangers” around. I have to take medicine, and it’s just not a good situation.

Depo-Provera update: I was just about to say the bleeding stop. But it started back up today. Compared to what it used to be, this is nothing. I’m grateful for that. I lost 1.5 pounds, so I don’t think I’m gaining weight due to DP.

This week I…

Music of the week: Shawn Mendes, Lorde, Hannah Trigwell, Paramore, Jem, Lana Del Rey, Lea Michele, Robyn

TV of the week: Big Brother, Thirteen Reasons Why

I’ve had 13 Reasons Why on my ‘to be read’ list FOREVER. I never got to it. I decided to finally watch the series this week. It starts off slow, but it’s a really good show. I wouldn’t recommend suicidal teens watch it. Or any teens when I think about how tough junior high and high school was for me. It made me go back to my suicidal days (not that long ago). For the longest time, I wanted to publish this manifesto of all the people who wronged me. How they contributed to my suicide. I never wrote it. But I thought about it a lot. I think I was going to mail it to a bunch of newspapers.

But now I’m in a better place. Most of the time. 😉

Movie of the week: None

Books of the week:

I finished reading two travel guides on The Dominican Republic. Very helpful. But I still feel a bit lost. At least I have a place to stay (see entry below). I will probably just stay there and walk to the private beach and to the small “town”. I just want a feel of the DR. That’s the one thing I really liked about my Mexico trip. I didn’t do the tourist thing. I stayed where the locals lived.

Trudy Scott (author of The Anti-Anxiety Food Solution) is your typical food snob. No gluten. No processed foods. YET, she says it is okay to eat sardines. Sardines from a can! Yes, LOL. So I’ve been eating sardines for lunch on most days. Fish is good for the body…even sardines. Besides, it was better than what I was eating before. I’m so glad she gave me that idea.

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren


Plans for the Weekend: The park! We (my dog and I) might go Sunday morning around 7 or 8 AM and stay for an hour. It depends on when my dad is coming back because he will want to go grocery shopping immediately. Right now he is in France. How cool. I wish I were in France. Anyway, I’m not starting my course until I get my textbook. I probably won’t seriously start until the weekend of the 26th.

I might mow my lawn this weekend. I’m trying to wait until next week because I’m off on Thursday and Friday. On Thursday I have a doctor’s appointment to check my iron levels. I have been taking iron pills, but not the ones she recommended because I can’t swallow pills (and they can’t be crushed).

Well, I have to go cook for the week. blah. I hate “cooking” even though all I do is bake a bunch of chicken for the week. How hard is that?

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! 🙂

I know places

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I finally found the perfect place to stay in the Dominican Republic.  Took me 3 days. 🙂 I thought I might need a travel agent. I knew I wanted to go the Caribbean, but I didn’t know which island. Then I narrowed it between Barbados and the DR.

I found a 4 bedroom 3 bathroom villa. Yes, that is WAY too big. But I love the place. It isn’t perfect. But it is perfect as I can find in the DR. Oh, I’m not going until May of 2019 (birthday trip!). And my mom is coming. In 2018, I’m going to Kripalu by myself. So I have the next two years planned. Somewhat. I’m not sure when Gabby Bernstein is going to be at Kripalu.

The villa is about $175 a night. Plus extra fees. Unfortunately. This is at the very high end of my budget. I have a few lower priced places I’m also considering. But I’m in love with this place. It has 3 master bedrooms. My room will be the master bedroom with the balcony (pic below). This place also has a Jacuzzi. However, like almost all the places in the Dominican Republic electricity must be paid based on usage. Using the Jacuzzi like I did in Asheville, NC would cost a lot since the water heater must be used. So I probably will only use it once.

Anyway, it is a 5-minute walk to the private beach. Picture time! Here is the private beach:


I have to have a balcony/patio. This place has more than one balcony. This is how you enter the property. Isn’t it great that this is the first thing you see? **drool**


This is going to be my master bedroom. There are 3 master bedrooms (with bathrooms en suite).  I’m picking this one because it has a balcony attached.


I’m so excited to go!! Dominican Republic, here I come….in 2019. ha.

I hear sounds in my mind

I don’t know where to start. That’s a great first sentence for a post. lol. Not a lot of big things are happening. I just want to do a few updates.

Job(s) update: FT job is still stressful, but today was pretty good. Re: the part-time job – We don’t have as much work because companies are sending their work overseas. 😦 I knew this was happening, but I didn’t know it was affecting the company I work for that badly.

Anyway, I should have work in about 2 weeks. People with more experience are working now. Us newbies have to wait. There are still opportunities and I’m glad I’m working with this company. However, I don’t think I’m going to invest in this career further. I was considering getting a THIRD certification. That’s a couple of thousands of dollars I would have to invest.

A course is starting next week with a discount for a few days in the certification I want, and of course, I’m tempted to sign up. But ugh, I just finished studying and taking a certification exam. Do I REALLY want to spend time and money on another certification right now? I think I will pass on the discounted price and wait until I really know I will receive a return on my investment.

Depo-Provera update: UGH. The bleeding started back on Wednesday. Great. I hope it is only temporary or I might call the doctor. It’s not really heavy, so that’s a good thing. I think I might be at the beginning of gaining weight due to the Depo. I won’t know for sure until a few weeks. Many women start gaining after the 3rd shot, so no shock there.

Other than that, things are going great with the Depo. 😉 More on this later.

List time! I love lists. Obvs. I made a list of things I really want. I think it’s accurate. I came up with this list in my paper journal pretty quickly so I might have left a few things off.  I left two private things off the following list. These wants are in no particular order:

  1. A private island in a warm climate.
  2. No debt.
  3. A good relationship with food.
  4. A carefree job where I feel confident.
  5. A consistent spiritual practice.
  6. To be all around healthy.
  7. To forgive my past tormentors.

I have nothing to add right now. Just sharing.

This week I…

Music of the week: Jillette Johnson, Lorde, Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Julia Michaels, Ariana Grande, John Mayer, Lana Del Rey

Song of the week: Lorde – Perfect Places


TV of the week: Big Brother, Pretty Little Liars

I’m so glad PLL is finally over. It got so bad at the end. Horrible. I quit watching Empire during the second season. I just don’t care what happens to these millionaires. And the music was horrible. Music is subjective, so I’ll just say I didn’t like the music. I hate saying that because Timbaland is the executive music producer. But whatever.  I started watching Empire because so many people were talking about it and I’m a fan of Gabourey Sidibe. But she wasn’t on the show enough for me. I should probably read Gabby’s book. I don’t know much about it. I just heard it was good.

/end tangent

Movie of the week: None

Books of the week:

I’m trying to focus on the following books –

Planner update: Plans of the week in my Erin Condren


Plans for the Weekend: Why do I even have this section? It’s not like I do anything fun on most weekends. LOL. Anyway, I’m just going grocery shopping and enjoying my free time. I am preparing to work at my part time job. It’s kind of hard to prepare without work, but I have some old coursework I can do. I’m trying to get really good at it so I can always have work despite a lot of work being moved overseas.

Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂

I’m off to find out how it ends

I finally got the rejection email I wanted. I got it on Sunday afternoon. That’s funny because I was checking my email like a hawk Monday through Friday. Anyway, like Marianne Williamson says if a train doesn’t stop at your station, it wasn’t your train. The pay might have sucked, or I would’ve hated the office environment. It’s easy to believe I would have hated the environment, but I felt decent vibes while I was there.

I guess I’m staying at my full-time job for a while.  Speaking of my FT job, I had a meeting with my manager today. She told me I was doing a great job. Whew! I just need to keep it up. No pressure. This job has been so stressful lately.

Through taking Iyanla Vanzant’s online course, I have learned at least one thing. I want my own private island! Ha. Don’t laugh. I just found the perfect one in Nova Scotia, Canada. Of course, that one won’t be there when I’m ready to buy. But there will be similar ones for sure.

I will (probably?) have to buy a small boat and get my boating license. That doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is the weather. What about the tropical storms in Nova Scotia? And the snow? What happens if there is an emergency? What if the island doesn’t have electricity and plumbing? I have to have plumbing. No joke.

So there’s a lot to consider, but this whole time I’ve been planning on buying a house in the country and now I have expanded my dreams to a private island. That particular island in Canada was what I want to pay for a house, so the cost isn’t a big issue.

Ideally, I wish I could pay close to one million dollars for a private island. Then I could live in North Carolina or lots of other places. I wouldn’t have to move to Canada. Not that I hate Canada or anything. I just know North Carolina a lot more, and I’m not as concerned about the weather.

There are also a very few affordable private islands in Belize. I have always thought about retiring there so if I can find something there, that would be great.

I’m researching it. It will be at least 5 years before I buy anything so I have time to do the research. Country living (so much easier) or private island (lots of unknown)? Oh, and of course, I can’t live on a private island soon because I have to make a living. ROFL. I will probably buy a house in the country and retire on a private island. That sounds great. Maybe I could afford more by then, but that’s another unknown.

The gluten free tortillas? UGH. They kept breaking up. They tasted average. I don’t think I will ever try gluten free tortillas again. I was just trying them because they had fewer calories and I’m planning to go gluten free, and I wanted to know what was out there.

Gotta go.